Saturday, June 26, 2010

A Year Ago Today

One year ago today I miscarried our fourth baby. I am doing okay today, mostly because I can concentrate on the life that is currently in my womb, growing and moving and developing. We have been blessed with a baby boy, and I am halfway through my pregnancy. Ironically enough, I got pregnant shortly after what was to be the "due date" of the baby who was not meant to be in my arms. I have struggled with this pregnancy, but ultimately know that he will be a blessing to our family.

Today I have acknowledged the loss of our little one, but I am no longer angry. I still don't understand why I was given a life, and then it was taken away, but I am able to have more faith that it was for a reason.

I'm sure today's date will always be hard for me to one degree or another, but I am praying that I won't ever again experience what I did one year ago. That day was horrific, heart breaking, and shattered me for a while as a whole. It rocked my world, and my faith.

I am thankful for the life inside of me, and pray he continues to grow and gain strength and has a healthy and peaceful entrance into this world.

1 comment:

embejo said...

The loss of a child is one of those things I will never understand, and yet somehow I know we can hold onto the goodness of God and keep our faith. I'm so sorry for your loss, and at the same time happy for your new little life growing inside. What a wonder. Pregnancy continues to blow my mind.
(You don't know me...just found your blog when i was pregnant with my fourth baby and planning a home birth. Ended up having a wonderful unassisted water birth. It was perfect. )