Midwifery Ramblings

Strength Has Different Faces

2011-11-14T10:05:00.000-08:00

Throughout the years I have been "given" (thrown into?) opportunities to show me that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. Cutting through all of the lies after my very unnecessary and damaging cesarean in 2004, to have a triumphant and empowering home VBAC in 2005. Going through that labor in 2005 after weeks of exhausting prodromal labor, only to end up with a stubbornly posterior baby whose gift to me was 100% back labor on my injured back. But, I did it. I gave birth to my 10lb 10oz, posterior baby girl only 19 months after I was told that I could not safely birth my 8lb 8oz son safely because of his size. Oh, I wanted to give up. Several times. But due to the support of my husband (which was a surprise, because he had been VERY against the home birth), and my amazing Midwife - I did it. It was an amazing feeling.

I didn't think that I would go through anything as physically challenging as that labor and birth. Boy was I wrong.

One year ago, three days after my due date with baby #4, I was in early labor. I knew he was breech. I knew he was larger. And I was struggling with knowing that he wasn't in a good position for breech. I am trained in breech deliveries. I have caught breech babies. And due to this, I knew the position that he was in wasn't favorable. Added to that - my intuition, my heart, my gut told me that things weren't going to go as planned. However, I wasn't willing to change my plan of me birthing with my husband. I had no idea that early labor would continue tomorrow, then heavy (and very hard) active labor would go on for a full 48 hours before I met my son.

I actually began early labor on November 12, one day after my due date. It was definitely early labor, but it was spaced out enough so that I could get some rest and try to get things done. In the wee hours of November 15, labor developed into something harsh. Contractions were still decently spaced, but they were incredibly rough. I'd not experienced contractions like this until *much* further along in labor. The next day, November 16th, was my HBAC baby's 5th birthday. I tried as best I could to celebrate with her, in between contractions that were wreaking havoc on my body. Labor spaced out a little bit in timing, not intensity, in the middle of the day...but then came back with a vengeance that evening. Several times in the course of the week or so before meeting my son, I cried. And I sobbed. You see, in my heart I knew something was wrong and that I wouldn't meet him the way that I had planned. And this was nearly impossible for me to accept. In fact, I didn't accept it until after I decided to go into the hospital for a cesarean.

And yes - here's where the skepticism, the questioning, and the downright unbelief comes in. Women are told to trust their intuition in birth....except when it comes to accepting intervention. A home birth Midwife went into the hospital to ask for a cesarean. I've been told that things were said about me, everything from, "She went in and asked for a cesarean because she was scared of breech. She didn't labor or push as long as she said.", to, "Karma's a bitch." The latter is because of how outspoken I am about birth. I speak often about breech being a variation of normal, and long labors sometimes being necessary. I still stand by them. I have also, when asked, critiqued a birth story so that the mom can have a better understanding of what choices she can make differently in a future labor/birth, in order to have a better shot at a different outcome. There *were* times, I'm ashamed to admit, that I critiqued a birth without invitation, though not TO the mother, but with friends. Not that it justifies it, but these were almost always hospital birth stories where it came out that mom decided to allow intervention, or home birth stories that started with mom inducing "naturally" and allowing intervention. The only comfort that I have is that *I* know what I went through. *I* know that I did absolutely everything I could, and everything "right", and still ended up in the operating room. Also, I have the comfort of knowing that anyone who knows me well, knows at least that my story is likely true - though, I got questions from people who I thought knew me well enough to know that I would NEVER step foot in a hospital, never mind ask for a cesarean, if it weren't 100% necessary. :shrug: I'm not sure many people will ever understand the agony involved in this journey. The decision to go into the hospital was necessary, and I was actually at peace with it at THAT point. But the agony before that point is indescribable. And people have told me that I shouldn't care what people think, or want to believe, and I know I shouldn't.

Knowing that doesn't stop it from hurting.

I have received incredible validation from Gail Tully, of Spinning Babies. I met her at the ICAN conference in April. She was doing a lunch session on breech births. She pulled out a sketch of the exact breech position that Caleb had been in and said, "I wasn't going to draw this one for this session. But last night as I crawled into bed after reviewing my notes, I had this tugging feeling that someone here needs to see this.", and she went on to explain how this particular position more often leads to bad outcomes. That the way he was sitting can cause major complications when the baby rotates. I sat there in disbelief, and began crying. Whether anyone believes this to be intuition or fear - it was there. I had an increasingly unnerving feeling about head entrapment as my labor went on with Caleb. And I've never seen one. The breech births that I have attended have all gone beautifully. But it's what kept grabbing me. Now, I will never know for sure if that's what would have happened had he been able to descend. Some have told me that him not being able to descend is probably what saved him. I don't want to be that dramatic, because I don't know. I never will. Maybe he would have been born just fine had he been able to descend. Maybe he wouldn't have been. I can't keep thinking of "maybes", because it'll drive me nuts. But this validation from her is invaluable to me. In the past week I found a comment from her on my birth story, from last January. Three months before I even met her. I didn't see the comment before last week. She reassured me that I did absolutely everything I could, and that sometimes these breech babies are just not able to descend, and a cesarean is necessary. I know that mine was, but having the validation from a woman who has seen breech more times than I probably ever will, and who very much believes that it can be normal and totally fine ... it was amazing.

On the night of the 16th, once the kids were in bed, labor picked back up to an excruciating pace. I texted back and forth with a friend. I told her that I didn't think I could emotionally survive another cesarean, yet I knew unless some miracle happened in the middle of the night, that it's what I would end up with. Things were wrong. I sobbed, and I raged, and I sobbed some more in between contractions. I cried to my husband, who tried to reassure me that everything would be okay. He didn't get what I was saying, he thought it was from exhaustion and the intensity of labor, and how long the intensity had been going on without progressing further. I tried to lay down to get some sleep, and labor picked up to another level I didn't think possible. The pain was unbearable. I had never felt pain like this, not even in my posterior labor. But I had made an agreement that if things didn't change by morning, that I would go in for a consult to see what was going on. I was determined to keep going, trying to hold on to some last hope that things would totally change and he would be born into my hands in the water as planned.

At 3am my waters released. I was renewed with excitement, determination, and hope. Maybe that's all I needed. Maybe that's all HE needed, in order to come down. I woke Jeramy up and got in the water. My waterbirth tub was my comfort. I labored in there with candles lit and my playlist playing.

When pushing sensations started to take over my body at about 8, I was once again renewed. He would finally come! I had no idea that six more hours of unstoppable, excruciating pushing would be my labor.

48 hours of hard, active labor, and six hours of physiological (unstoppable) pushing later ... I saw that my son wasn't descending. He hadn't moved down even an inch. He was in the same exact spot, same exact height, as he had been in the last few weeks of pregnancy. His hard little head was still right underneath my left breast. Waters releasing, and pushing hadn't changed it. I knew this was the sign that it was time to ask for help. His heartrate was still strong, and I knew he was okay ... but I wasn't sure how much longer he and I could endure a labor like this. It took *forever* to get to the car, because contractions weren't only a mere 2 minutes apart, but they were well over a minute long, and double peaking. The car ride was excruciating. I've never felt so trapped, so immobile, and in so much pain.

Caleb Eliuddin Fiscer was delivered via cesarean section at 2:39pm on November 17th, 2010.

In the end, we were treated with respect. They honored our wishes. I was spoken to like a human being while on the operating table, which is a far cry from my first cesarean. I was awake. And I held and nursed my son - all 10lbs 6oz of him - within 20 minutes of his delivery. Caleb didn't have any drugs whatsoever - I refused any narcotics in my IV, much to the disagreement of the anesthesiologist who tried his best to convince me that I would be in horrible pain as soon as the spinal wore off. He didn't have any shots, vaccinations, eye drops. He was handed to daddy in the operating room. So very, very different than 2004.

I still cry. I still hate how this birth went. I still mourn the loss of my home and water birth. I mourn the loss of a peaceful, safe, and easily healed vaginal birth. My body is wrecked from this labor, in ways I won't go into detail about here.

But all in all, it showed me (much to my anger some days) that I am much stronger than I previously believed. I made it through the labor from hell, through 6 hours of incessant and excruciating pushing, and ultimately through surgery again. I didn't think I could make it through the latter. But I did. For a while I was angry because I didn't think I needed another birth "lesson", as to what can happen, and what we as women are capable of. I didn't think I needed to have another experience to be an example. All I wanted was a peaceful, beautiful birth. I didn't have a peaceful birth. To me, I didn't even have a beautiful birth. But it taught me some things that I will never forget.

I'm not sure how long it will take me to be able to think about this labor and delivery without crying, and mourning. Hopefully the sadness will continue to decrease in intensity.

Happy 6th Birthday to my HBAC Princess, who showed me just how amazing and empowering birth can be. And Happy First Birthday, my Caleb. My heart and joy, who showed me that I am capable of strength even in the face of heartbreakingly hard circumstances.

"You were not born in the way that I had intended.We did not meet in the way that I had hoped.You cried with confusion and hunger. I cried with confusion and pain.
We returned to our cocoon together. When we emerged – transformed. Beautiful and with delight. For we had fallen in love in the way I had dreamed." - Karyn Peabody

Circumcision

2011-11-07T17:53:00.000-08:00

I tried to think of a witty blog title for this, and finally came to the conclusion that everyone just simply needs to become informed about routine infant circumcision. Simple. Nothing complex about it. I circumcised my 7 1/2 year old son. I did not circumcise my 1 year old son. "When you know better, you do better."

Let's start with the basics:

Circumcision is an elective surgical procedure that removes healthy tissue from a healthy body. And, there's no solid medical basis behind non-medically indicated circumcision.

At this time, there is insufficient data to recommend routine neonatal circumcision. Although there are potential benefits and risks, the procedure is usually not essential to the child’s well being.

i

Approximately 117 infant boys die each year of circumcision complications. These deaths were 100% avoidable.

Baby boys can and do succumb as a result of having their foreskin removed. Circumcision-related mortality rates are not known with certainty; this study estimates the scale of this problem. This study finds that approximately 117 neonatal circumcision-related deaths (9.01/100,000) occur annually in the United States, about 1.3% of male neonatal deaths from all causes. Because infant circumcision is elective, all of these deaths are avoidable. This study also identifies reasons why accurate data on these deaths are not available, some of the obstacles to preventing these deaths, and some solutions to overcome them.

The prepuce is highly vascularized, so it is likely to hemorrhage when cut, and severing the frenular artery is very common. Infants have a miniscule amount of blood in their tiny bodies and can tolerate only about a 20 percent blood loss before hypovolemia, hypovolemic shock, and death. A 4000 gram male newborn has only 11.5oz (340 ml) of total blood volume at birth, 85 ml per kilogram of weight. Blood loss of only 2.3oz, (68 ml), 20% of total blood volume at birth is sufficient to cause hypovolemia. Many newborns, and especially premature infants, weigh much less and a smaller amount of blood loss would be sufficient to trigger hypovolemic shock in those infants. Circumcision of infants, therefore, carries the inherent danger of hypovolemic shock and death.

iii

Circumcision should be a human rights issue, not parental choice.

I talk to women all the time who are horrified over the idea of female circumcision. Why? Girls get infections FAR more often than boys do. Yeast, UTI, irritation (especially in young girls), etc. If you claim that male circumcision is necessary for infection prevention, then we should be circumcising our daughters as well. Bottom line? If you are horrified over the idea of girls being strapped down and circumcised, you ABSOLUTELY need to be horrified over the idea of boys being strapped down.

Watch this video. Is this okay to you? Would you be okay with someone strapping you down without your consent, forever changing your genital anatomy? Decreasing the amount of nerve endings, increasing the risk of sexual dysfunction, and putting you at pointless risk of death? All to look "nicer"?

Circumcision changes sexual function for both men and their female partners.

Now researchers prodding dozens of male penises with a fine-tipped tool have found that the five areas most receptive to fine-touch are routinely removed by the surgery.

iiii

Circumcision removes the most important sensory component of the foreskin - thousands of coiled fine-touch receptors called Meissner's corpuscles. Also lost are branches of the dorsal nerve, and between 10,000 and 20,000 specialized erotogenic nerve endings of several types. Together these detect subtle changes in motion and temperature, as well as fine gradations in texture. iv

The New Zealand study found that females experience an orgasm twice as often from an intact man than the cut one. When it is cut, the coronal ridge is abnormally exposed, which causes undue friction on the vaginal walls that would not occur if the lubricating and gliding mechanism of the foreskin remained intact. The cut penis usually prefers an unnatural elongated an arrhythmic stroke, breaking the delicate build up the female arousal system.

Most likely, reported vaginal dryness and the related clinical designation ‘female arousal disorder’ is but a normal female response to coitus with a man with an iatrogenically deficient penis.

The prepuce is primary, erogenous tissue necessary for normal sexual function. The complex interaction between the sensitivity of the corpuscular receptor-deficient glans penis and the corpuscular receptor-rich ridged band of the male prepuce is required for normal copulatory behavior. – Dr. Christopher Cold, M.D. and Dr. John Taylor, M.D.

But I don't want my son to look different than his father/peers!

There are SO many things wrong with this reasoning, most of the time I don't even know where to begin. First of all, don't MOST of us parents try to instill in our children that they should strive for individuality? That they don't need to look like everyone else, or act like everyone else? That they should be themselves? What about when your daughter comes home from high school every day after P.E. in tears because her breasts are smaller/larger than the other girl's? Will you take her in for breast augmentation? Or will you explain to her that her body is her own, and she is beautiful?

I could also go into the possible hidden implications of a father wanting his son's genitalia to become disfigured just so that he looks like him...but I'll leave that as something to ponder. I still have to wonder - how many men would *volunteer* to undergo the experience that the baby had in the video above? Would they still if they knew that it would remove vital tissue containing extremely sensitive nerve endings? If not, then why on earth are they turning around and inflicting this on their sons, just to look the same?!

I have women tell me constantly that the decision is not theirs. That it is out of their hands, up to their husband/partner. WHY? Why is the decision to permanently alter your son's body, putting him at risk of death and sexual dysfunction as an adult, any less YOUR decision? If someone was holding a knife to your baby's ear, wanting to remove it, would you not risk life and limb to rescue your baby? HOW is this any different? My husband wasn't fully on board when I said that I would not allow any of our future sons to be circumcised. He thought I had gone nuts. Until I showed him the research. Until I showed him just what purpose a foreskin has, and what risks we took by doing so to our older son. Stand firm. Most intelligent, caring men will be receptive if you show them why you are so concerned about this. Many then question why their parents did it to them. We are living in a society full of men who were robbed of their full sexual function. Why don't more people see a problem with this?

Circumcision cannot be claimed as "religious" unless done in a Synagogue by a Mohel

I get so tired of hearing people claim religious reasons for routine infant male circumcision. However, not only is this 100% irrelevant and UNbiblical for those who are not Jewish, many Jewish people are shying away from the practice as well. If you had your baby strapped down to a plastic board and circumcised in a hospital or doctor's office, there was nothing spiritual about it. For those who aren't Jewish, Paul in the New Testament speaks about NOT circumcising, that it is ritualistic and holds no favor. Circumcision of the heart is much more valuable to God, than complete removal of the foreskin that He designed with a purpose. There are scholars who have studied Biblical text regarding how circumcision was done. Most of the circumcision spoken about on the Bible was done to adult males. And when it was done, it was NOT the complete removal of the whole foreskin. Some suggest that there is evidence of it being a nick in the skin, as a blood offering. Others suggest that it is a fraction of what is removed in routine infant circumcision done by hospitals and pediatricians. And again, Paul in the New Testament speaks out against circumcision.

Gal. 5:6: "For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision avails anything, but faith working through love."

Gal. 6:15: "For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision avails anything, but a new creation."

Col 3:9-11: "Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all."

1 Cor. 7:17b-20: "This is my rule in all the churches. Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing; but obeying the commandments of God is everything. Let each of you remain in the condition in which you were called.'

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Healthy male foreskin has many purposes. Your son's foreskin is "knit together" in his mother's womb. There is no valid medical reason to routinely strap infant males down to a plastic table and remove it. It puts his life at risk, his sexual function and pleasure at risk, and robs his wife of a normal sex life. I don't even know what my sex life could be like with an intact man. My husband is circumcised, and he's the only man I have ever been with. It frustrates me to know that because of this routine, senseless procedure I will never know how much better sex can be with a man whose body is just how God intended it to be. It frustrates me even further that we have this idea in our culture that removing healthy tissue without our sons' consent is OKAY. I did it to one son. Not to my other one. The son I did it to, I did it to out of complete ignorance. I will never make that mistake again.

Parents, I urge you to do your research. The only thing that cannot be undone is a circumcision. If later in life your son experiences problems that cannot be resolved with other measures, by all means pay for him to have it done. At least he will be the one making the decision. Take a long, hard (no pun intended) look at what you are thinking of doing to your innocent baby, who has absolutely no choice in the matter. Please, keep your whole baby whole.

"I support the choice to circumcise when the man whose body will forever be changed is the one making the choice."

i: American Academy of Pediatrics Policy Statements on Circumcision and Urinary Tract Infection
ii: Lost Boys: An Estimate of U.S. Circumcision-Related Infant Deaths
iii: Increased Danger of Neonatal Circumcision
iiii: Study: Circumcision Removes Most Sensitive Parts
iv: Losses from Circumcision
vi: Effects of male circumcision on female arousal and orgasm

Caution: Choose Carefully

2011-10-12T11:16:00.000-07:00

A woman thought she had chosen her care provider carefully. One whom she thought would facilitate the peaceful, calm, beautiful birth that she envisioned for her first baby. She was comfortable with her care provider, confident that she would have the type of birth that she was dreaming about.

Then, at the end of pregnancy she is bombarded with stress from her care provider. Pressure to undergo tests that weren't based on evidence of anything going awry. A strict dietary change, which she needed to report to her care provider. When her water breaks and there is no labor yet, her care provider is unable to follow evidence based research, and have patience as long as mother and baby are doing well. Care provider talks heavily and often of intervention. Begins forcing induction techniques on the mother. The care provider's nervousness exudes from every action, in turn causing stress on the family. Soon the mother is able to force-start her labor, even though her intuition tells her that everything was fine. Her care provider ordered the birthing woman's mother to get out. When it came to pushing, she wasn't given an option of birthing anywhere but on her back. Her care provider instructed people to hold and pull her legs all the way back, while roughly hooking fingers into the mother's vagina to stretch and pull. Stretch and pull. Mom kicks at her care provider's hands, and says, “This hurts. Please stop.” Her care provider continues, saying that if mom doesn't want to tear, this is what needs to occur. Baby is born. Yet, it isn't the calm and beautiful meeting that either parent had hoped for. Within minutes, the care provider was pulling roughly on the umbilical cord, even though the mother said it hurt. Pulling tore the placenta off of the uterine wall, and heavy bleeding began. Before the family knew it, the care provider was gone, citing fatigue. The husband was left to worry about his wife's bleeding, and his child's breathing, without the professional that they had paid for.

For those of you who know the difference between home and hospital birth, this sounds like a hospital birth. It wasn't. This was birth at home. With a Midwife. Unfortunately, just hiring a Midwife to attend a home birth does not guarantee you a peaceful, safe, calm birthing experience. And there are things you can look for in the interview, and in the prenatal process. The problem for most families is that they blindly trust in their care provider. They don't question, and they don't do independent research. And the Midwives that I know of that have caused these kinds of birthing scenarios are extremely smooth with how they present things. It is almost a grooming technique. They tell you exactly what you want to hear. If you question things, they have a well-thought-out reason for why they will intervene in an otherwise healthy pregnancy, labor, or birth.

Red Flags in a Midwife:

*She has strict requirements for what you can and cannot do for your own birth. For example, she has the rule that you cannot birth on your own bed. You must birth in water (if she “lets” you actually birth in water – does not pull you out when you start pushing), or on the floor. This is controlling, not evidence based, and quite frankly – disturbing. There is nothing evidence based about not allowing a woman to birth in her own bed. A birthing woman should be able to birth wherever and however she chooses. Period.

*She becomes visibly nervous over things that are within normal or normal variation. A professional, experienced, and competent Midwife will make the family feel at ease, even if she internally feels nervous about something. This is the time for her to do research, collaborate with a peer, and then make a calm recommendation if evidence shows a reason to step in.

*She starts doing or wanting to do vaginal exams in the end of your pregnancy. Whatever reason she may give you, this is NOT evidence based. It holds no purpose whatsoever. It will not tell you when you will give birth, how well your labor will progress, or how baby is doing.

*You begin to feel like less of a peer with your Midwife, and more of a submissive party. You view your Midwife as an absolute authority figure who shouldn't be questioned, or one who will “disallow” you to do something. Your Midwife is your SUPPORT during a physiologic event in your life. Not your authority.

*She begins to come up with reasons why the things you may desire, or have planned for your birth, are not going to work out. For example – birthing in water. If she mentions that she “may have to pull you out” of the water for pushing, HUGE red flag. If she mentions that your partner or the person whom you have chosen to catch your baby can do so only with her help, huge red flag. There is nothing special about a Midwife's hands. She can sit back and carefully watch, and step in if there are any issues. Otherwise, she doesn't need to be involved.

*She answers, “We'll have to see how things are going...” in response to your desires for your birth.

And finally, for those of you who may be questioning what the heck happened during your birth...if your Midwife:

*Had you begin techniques to soften and prepare your cervix.

*Pressured you to begin intervention in your otherwise normal, healthy pregnancy.

*Began induction techniques because your waters released and labor didn't start yet, even though you and baby were not showing any signs or symptoms of infection.

*Was nervous during your labor – didn't seem like she was confident with what was occurring.

*Didn't allow you to birth anywhere but on the floor.

*Discouraged waterbirth, birth on your bed, or someone else from catching your baby. (including YOU!)

*Did multiple vaginal exams either without you asking, or because she had convinced you that they were necessary to assess progress and safety.

*Had you push before you felt the urge – your body will undeniably begin pushing on its own without any effort from you.

*Kept asking if you felt like pushing. A Midwife worth her salt knows that if you have to ask, mom definitely does not feel like pushing. Then mom wonders why she doesn't have to push yet. Is something wrong? When will I feel like pushing?

*Roughly applied perineal massage and stretching. If she told you that this is how to keep from tearing. If she told you that this was necessary. If she wouldn't stop when you mentioned how it hurt, was uncomfortable, or you didn't like it. Doing perineal stretching and massage is not evidence based. Research has shown that it does not reduce the risk of tearing, especially since the position that mom is in for this, is the LEAST optimal position for birth.

*Spoke to you in a controlling way. “Give me that baby!”, “You can either get down to business and REALLY push, and have this baby soon. Or you can keep going like this for hours.”

*Pulled on your placenta instead of waiting for the third stage to complete physiologically. By doing so, she put you at high risk for uterine and cervical prolapse, not to mention hemorrhage.

*Left shortly after your birth. A Midwife should remain in your home for a MINIMUM of two to three hours after birth. The first hour after birth is VITAL to mother-baby bonding, and should not be disrupted by newborn examination, birth certificate worksheets, or anything else if all has gone well. The time after birth is to assure that mom and baby are doing well, that they are snuggled into bed, that baby is nursing well, mom has eaten, and everything is cleaned up.

If she did any of the above, she did not practice in a safe, evidence based manner.

Overall, your Midwife should practice in a way that supports evidence based research and protocols. Not fear based, and definitely not control based. Women are perfectly capable of birthing out in the middle of the forest without anyone else around. They definitely do not need an overbearing, controlling Midwife to step in and make things unsafe.

Ask for the contact information of her last 3 clients. Ask them questions about their birth. Ask them about the demeanor of the Midwife during pregnancy, labor, birth, and postpartum. Ask about her transfer rate. Does she end up taking a lot of her clients in to the hospital? Call the hospital. Talk to the nurses. What is the reputation of the Midwife there?

If you have seen any of these red flags and feel it is too late to switch, it's not. Call around. Explain your situation. Make other arrangements for your birth, instead of continuing with these red flags, and possibly putting yourself, your baby, and your birth experience at risk.

Be careful with your choice in care provider. There are no do-overs in birth, and you will always remember the way that you were made to feel during your birthing process. Always remember that YOU are the one in charge of your birth. You hire your care provider – they work for you....not the other way around.

Brilliant Repeat Cesarean Patient Plan

2011-09-22T16:50:00.000-07:00

Step 1:

Convince first time moms that pregnancy and childbirth is so dangerous and so scary that they need to hire a trained surgeon (OB) to care for them. Even though pregnancy and childbirth are physiologic events. After all, things can go wrong at ANY MINUTE, right?

Step 2:

Convince women that heavy monitoring and/or induction and/or epidural and/or cesarean is going to be necessary. Small pelvis. Past due date. Low fluid. Big baby. Small baby. One or two higher blood pressure readings. Water broke without labor.

Step 3:

If women refuse labor induction, find a reason to scare the shit out of them. Most often? "YOUR BABY WILL DIE IF YOU DON'T ACQUIESCE!" Your baby will be too big, and will get stuck in the birth canal. Your baby is in distress because we found meconium on the bio-physical profile at 41 weeks. Your baby has little to no fluid left, and can die. Your pelvis is just too narrow...we'll LET YOU TRY, but you will probably need a cesarean. If you attempt a vaginal birth with a breech baby, you will kill/harm/damage him. If you attempt a vaginal birth with twins, you will kill/harm/damage them.

Step 4:

Begin induction on a woman whose Bishops Score is unfavorable. Crank up the pitocin, even though the woman's cervix is not low, soft, or dilated. (Or barely so) Recommend an epidural so that the pain of the unnaturally strong (and unnaturally occurring) contractions can be taken away. Break her water artificially. Do internal exams every 2-4 hours.

Step 5:

As soon as the baby goes into distress ~~as planned~~ ~~as you knew he would~~ unexpectedly/mom gets a fever/placenta abrupts, explain to woman that she needs an emergency cesarean NOW, otherwise baby will die/be harmed. You DO WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR BABY, DON'T YOU?

Step 6:

Do not share with woman that according to evidence based research, it was a failed induction because her baby was not ready to be born. Or that inducing for "suspected macrosomia" is going against evidence based protocols. Or that inducing at 12/18/24 hours after water breaks is not evidence based. Or that inducing with a low Bishops Score is formula for cesarean. Or that inducing for low/no fluid is not evidence based.

Step 7:

Convince the woman that it was her body's fault, or baby's fault, that she had a cesarean. Your pelvis wasn't large enough. Your labor wasn't fast enough. Your body didn't create enough fluid at the end. Your baby didn't tolerate labor well. Your baby was too big. Your baby didn't come out when he was supposed to. Your baby wasn't in the right position.

End result?

Scenario 1:

A woman who is now even more scare of pregnancy, labor, and birth. A woman who believes that her body is broken, and that her body put her baby in danger. A woman who will be far too terrified to plan for a normal birth with the next baby. Who will plan her repeat cesarean for 39 weeks, since her body is too dangerous to try again.

Scenario 2:

A woman who will ask her "wonderful, natural friendly" OB (surgeon) if she can "try" for a VBAC, and will not do so because her OB (surgeon) reminds her that her body didn't do well the first time around, and it's safer to have repeat surgery.

Scenario 3:

A woman who will plan a VBAC, but will once again hire a trained surgeon (even though she's trying to AVOID surgery) and most likely will allow interventions in a normal pregnancy and/or labor (VBAC is still normal!) for the same reasons listed above.

Obstetrics, even though 2/3 of their protocols are NOT based on scientific evidence (according to the latest research), continues to claim 99% of women as "patients". Some people wonder why our cesarean rate is so high nationally, and our infant mortality rates are inexcusable. It's really pretty simple. Take healthy, low risk women with healthy, low-risk babies and convince them that they need Obstetric (surgical) care. Add this to the above formula, and you have almost guaranteed repeat cesarean clients. Higher revenue for doctors, insurance companies, and hospitals. (Let's not forget that with cesareans comes a higher rate of NICU admission - even more revenue)

Women - start thinking wisely. Research your options more carefully than you research the car seat, crib, diaper bag, or latest accessories. Childbirth is nothing to fear. Really.

Vaginal Birth a Safe Option After Multiple Cesareans

2011-09-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

When you understand the actual statistical risks associated with a VBAMC (vaginal birth after multiple cesareans), you understand that the risk is really very small in terms of uterine rupture. Because of my personal history with VBAC'ing, it frustrates me when care providers of all types are afraid of rupture. They obviously haven't done the research, because if they had they would understand that the risk is just as low as other birth emergencies (such as cord prolapse). There are emergencies that can come up in *any* labor and birth, which is why it is important for care providers of all types to be prepared. But to be scared of VBAMC? It's just not evidence based fear.

Dr. Mark Landon has done multiple studies on vaginal birth after multiple cesareans, showing a risk of 0.9% for rupture in women who have had multiple prior cesarean sections.

You can read the bulletin here , and here is a quote from it:

Landon found that the risk of uterine rupture was 0.9 percent in cases of women with a history of multiple prior cesarean deliveries undergoing a trial of labor, compared with 0.7 percent in the cases of patients who had experienced only one previous cesarean delivery. These data challenge the notion that women with more than one prior cesarean are at dramatically increased risk for uterine rupture with a VBAC attempt.

“We looked at the outcomes associated with uterine rupture, including catastrophic outcomes such as stillbirth, or hypoxic brain injury to the baby,” says Landon. “And the good news is that the vast majority of uterine ruptures fortunately are associated with healthy infants. The absolute risk of catastrophic rupture with poor outcome is, in fact, quite small.”

So ladies - take heart! Not only is a vaginal birth POSSIBLE after multiple cesareans, it is also considered safe. Don't take no for an answer. If you are told no, if you are told that you don't care about your baby's life, if you are told that you will kill your baby ... find another care provider.

And here is a YouTube slide show of VBAMC to enjoy. :)

When I Talk About ...

2011-08-09T22:44:00.001-07:00

When I talk about and encourage birthing at home, it is not because I am crazy or anti-hospital for those that need it. It is because too many women end up unnecessarily having to heal from a major incision (both cesarean and episiotomy) , and too many babies are put at risk by the drugs and intervention commonly used in the hospital. That is fact, not opinion. For low-risk women, more complications occur in the hospital than they do at home. That is fact, not opinion. The maternity ward is the only space in the hospital where healthy, strong people willingly go to complete a physiological event in their life … surrounded by the sick, wounded, and dying. For low-risk women, you and your baby are at higher risk of developing a life-threatening infection in the hospital, or suffer the consequences of a severe medical error, than you are of having a life-threatening complication that cannot be handled at home. A recent study in Emerging Infectious Diseases found that hospital-acquired infections are the sixth leading cause of death nationally . An average of 195,000 people in the USA died due to potentially preventable, in-hospital medical errors in each of the years 2000, 2001 and 2002, according to a study of 37 million patient records that was released by HealthGrades. At least 44,000 people, and perhaps as many as 98,000 people die in hospitals each year as a result of medical errors that could have been prevented. I talk about these things because women walk away from the often traumatic hospital birth believing that it was their body that failed them and their baby – and sometimes put their baby at risk – rather than the very practices that are common in the hospital. Nearly all of the complication-ridden, scary hospital birth stories that I hear of were avoidable. They included misinformation, or outright lies, by their care provider followed by intervention in the physiologic process. Their body never failed them or their baby. Their care provider and the medical system did.

When I talk about keeping your sons whole, it is not because I have never been in the position to believe this to be best. In fact, one of my sons is circumcised. I talk about it because no one did so when we were in that position. No one encouraged us to look into the research that shows the risks – not only of death, but of permanent injury and disfigurement. No one encouraged us to do some Biblical research to find that for Christians, not only is circumcision not required, it is spoken against by Paul. No one provoked the thought process of circumcision being a irreversible, permanent alteration of someone else's body … even though that body “belongs” to us, so to speak. I often hear people say that circumcision is a personal decision for each parent. The one thing that is lost in this is that the baby has no choice in something that is done, rather brutally, to his body. He has no power to say no. He will only have to live with the results (and possible complications) for the rest of his life. For some men, this includes sexual dysfunction. God created the foreskin for a reason. It is not without function, it is not without purpose.

When I talk about breastfeeding being one of the most important choices you can make for your baby, that is fact, not opinion. Breast milk is literally the only perfect substance for your baby for the first year of his life. Baby needs nothing else in that first year to grow, develop, and be happy. Breast milk is the only substance that a baby's digestive system can efficiently break down. Babies are literally hardwired to breastfeed. They know how to get to the breast without anyone putting them there. They know how to nurse without anyone showing them how. This is especially true when a mother has given her baby the gift of a physiologic birth – no drugs or interruption in the bonding process immediately following birth. When I talk about breastfeeding it is not because I am being judgmental of those women who don't, it is because every baby has a birthright to breastfeed, and many are deprived of this right. Breast milk is not only a complete nutrition, it also completes the baby's immune system with antibodies that will help shield baby from illness. It is a powerful healing agent – capable of wiping out eye infections, ear infections, diaper rash, and even acne. Breastfeeding your baby helps protect against SIDS, reduces the risk of childhood obesity, raises IQ levels, and increases both jaw and eye health. And let's face it ladies – we lactate for a reason. It is our God-given super ability. It should be used, if nothing else but for the health of our children.

When I talk about co-sleeping, it is not because I am afraid a predator will come and snatch away baby if he is in the other room. It is because studies have shown that co-sleeping (even if just in the same room) reduces the rates of SIDS, aids nighttime feedings, and makes baby feel more secure. A baby spends 10 months inside of his mother, listening to the beating of her heart, the sound of her breathing and her voice, and is comforted knowing that she is there. Imagine going from this place of comfort and security, to being isolated from the one being you trust to keep you safe. Here's where I get controversial : I find it cruel to put baby in another room. A baby should, at the very least, be allowed the security of being in the same room with mom and dad. Hearing the familiar sounds, and knowing that they are right there in case of need. The best advice that I can give new parents is to put the money into a savings account that they would have spent on a nursery. Baby doesn't need a nursery – baby needs you. They are very simple that way, it is us adults that make it much more complicated than it needs to be.

When I talk about baby wearing, it is not because I am a hippie – though I do not take offense to this. Ha! It is because baby feels the most safe and secure when in the arms of someone who loves him. Instead of being constantly buckled into a car seat, baby can be up on your chest, listening to you breathe, your heart beat, and your voice. As baby gets older, he can see everything that you see. He can be at eye-level with people, allowed to interact. Baby also stays content much longer through a shopping trip, walk, or even housework. It has also been shown that babies who are worn rather than placed in a seat have much fewer incidences of skull deformities. Some babies who are commonly placed in a seat end up needing to wear a corrective helmet due to the flattening of the back of the skull. I also cringe and feel twinges in my back and arms when I see moms toting around the heavy car seat with baby buckled in. With the right carrier, you won't feel pain, and baby will be content. It really is about making things easier for mom, and making baby feel the most loved and secure!

When I talk about any of these things, I am not being judgmental. Do I get sad when I think about what is done to babies unknowingly by well-meaning parents? Every day. It seems that parents do more research about the type of car seat, stroller, crib, and accessories to buy than they do about the things that matter most. I would love to see this change. I was once that mom, so I understand. It is easy to do, because these are the things that our society values. Research the “things”, hand the responsibility of childbirth and baby rearing to your Obstetrician and Pediatrician. Don't feel bad if you choose drugs, don't feel bad if you choose formula. Don't feel bad if you choose to place your baby in another room upon returning home from the hospital. Don't feel bad if you choose to displace your child's needs in order to maintain yours. Our society places very little importance on what is vital to health and happiness in the little beings that we are given responsibility of. It places more importance on the happiness of adults. It is no coincidence that the doctors who tell you that there is nothing wrong with choosing drugs in childbirth, are paid by the very pharmaceutical companies who supply them. It is no coincidence that the ads that tell you not to feel guilty about choosing not to breastfeed are funded by the mutli-billion dollar formula industry. Our society is not fueled by the importance of mother-baby bonding as it should be. And women fall prey to this – sometimes happily – every single day.

My question is, at what cost?

Guest Post: An Open Letter To the Who Trained My Midwife, RE: Sexual Abuse

2011-06-11T08:39:00.000-07:00

This is from Mandala Mom. Recently the Powerbirth Midwives have shown that they have no willingness whatsoever to accept responsibility for the harm that they have inflicted on women. They continue to call them liars, continue to hide behind a "Philosophy" (though it was labeled a "technique" by them until it was brought out what they were doing with said "technique") that allows for no understanding whatsoever of the physiology of birth, only physically and emotionally harmful practices that serve the Midwife only.

Mandala Mom talks about the reason she continues to be vocal, and I couldn't agree with her more, nor applaud her more for her bravery and willingness to speak out. Women who have been traumatized at home NEED just as much of a voice (if not more) than those who have been traumatized in the hospital.

My purpose for continuing to write and talk about PowerBirth is to do what I can to make certain that mothers in my community are not having their rights to informed consent and informed decision-making stripped away during their home births. There are others championing patient autonomy and reform in hospital settings. But when women decide to have homebirths and end up with hospital-births-at-home, having hired midwives whose standards of practice include routine, unnecessary, not-evidence-based interventions that are not being disclosed prior to labor, I feel an obligation to sound the alarm.

Regardless of her history, every birthing mother deserves to be involved in all decisions that affect her body, her baby, and her birth. She deserves the truth right from the beginning about what prejudices and practices her midwife brings to birth.

An Open Letter To the Midwife Who Trained My Midwife, RE: Sexual Abuse

~*~

Hands-On Midwifery Versus Instictive Birth:

2011-06-04T15:52:00.000-07:00

Lately there has been much discussion in my area regarding hands-on Midwifery versus hands-off Midwifery. There has been accusations that a hands-off Midwife is more dangerous than even a scheduled cesarean. However, this seems to be a diversion tactic amongst the Midwives here who believe that it is okay to control a woman's birth, and not let her know that it is the intention to do so, until the woman is at her most vulnerable.

I am a hands-off Midwife, and proud of it. I do not do unnecessary vaginal exams (and yes - an exam upon arrival and an exam when mom says she feels like pushing *ARE* unnecessary!), I won't induce labor at home unless there is a reason that would necessitate a hospital induction if labor didn't begin in x amount of time, I don't tell women how/where/with whom they can birth, and I don't tell women how/when to start pushing. Women are quite intelligent, believe it or not. Dr. Michel Odent and Dr. Sarah Buckley have written extensively about instinctual birth being the most optimal for women. I firmly believe that labor and birth happen in the best way possible when a woman is not directed, controlled, or interrupted.

The confusion surrounding this also lies in the same accusation that hands-off Midwifery is dangerous. It is assumed that a hands-off Midwife is hands-off no matter what. That apparently we hands-off Midwives (aka, "Instinctual Birth" supporters) would sit in the corner and twiddle our thumbs if a labor were abnormal, or if complications should arise with mom or baby. Quite the contrary. We are very well trained in handling complications - but the catch is that by not interfering with a woman in labor, we also do not *cause* complications to arise.

This is a blog post by The Mandala Mom that fits this so appropriately, from the standpoint of the consumer. From the standpoint of a woman and mother who has had both a hands-on Midwife, and then intuitive births. From the standpoint of a woman who has seen first hand how a hands-off Midwife supports a woman during labor and birth.

Enjoy!

Bulls in the China Shop: Hands-On Midwifery Versus Instinctive Birth

Not Your Typical Cesarean

2011-06-02T12:23:00.000-07:00

This guest blog post is an article from my dear friend Jessica Tiderman - ICAN sister and owner of Special Scars ~ Special Women. This was originally published in Whole Woman magazine, Winter 2011.

Not Your Typical Cesarean
An Intro to Special Scars by Jessica Tiderman

Most people know at least one person that has had a cesarean. Not many realize that there are a variety of incisions that can be used on the uterus during that cesarean. The most typical incision is a low transverse incision, which is a horizontal cut in the lower portion of the uterus usually called the lower uterine segment (LUS). Due to the lack of shorthand to describe the more unusual uterine incisions such as classical, inverted T, J, upright T or any cesarean incision other than the low transverse incision, I started calling them Special Scars. Without a way to describe these incisions, women weren’t getting the information and support that they needed.

An inverted T incision starts out with a low transverse incision and then the OB makes a vertical incision upward in the center of the uterus. A J incision also starts out with a low transverse incision but the OB makes the vertical incision up along the side of the uterus rather than the center, perhaps because the placenta or the baby was in the way. An upright T incision can happen in two ways; either the OB started with a low vertical incision and then needed more room at the top of the incision or started with a low transverse incision and made a vertical incision down toward and sometimes reaching the cervix. These three incisions are usually used for babies that are severely malpositioned and/or very stuck. The vertical portion of these incisions can range from a few millimeters to several centimeters. These are also usually contained within the LUS, but can extend into the upper uterine segment (UUS).

Classical incisions are vertical incisions and can be placed just about anywhere on the midline (middle) of the uterus but tend to be in the UUS. There is some dispute about the standard placement of a classical incision. They are still commonly used for early preterm cesareans although some doctors have switched to using the low transverse incision for those as well. Finally, low vertical incisions are simply that, a vertical incision on the midline that is contained within the LUS. This is used when the baby is in a transverse lie or if the placenta is in a location where they would typically cut.

Clearly, the Special Scars are a more complicated matter. The cesareans that end up in these incisions tend to take longer due to baby’s position, which leaves the mom more vulnerable to infection or other adverse effects from being open for so long. Moms with these incisions are more likely to have a host of problems that are less likely to occur with low transverse incisions – wound infection, endometritis, septicemia, transfusion, ICU admission, hysterectomy, and maternal death. These incisions can also increase the mother’s length of stay in the hospital. Babies born from these incisions also have increased risks – stillbirth, neonatal death, APGAR less than 7 at 5 minutes, ICU admission.(1)

Emotionally, the moms may suffer from postpartum depression or post-traumatic stress disorder. It is very likely that they were told many times during their stay in the hospital after their cesarean that they would never be able to have a vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) after that particular surgery. They likely heard that statement so many times that they believe it. When they find out that it is possible to have a vaginal birth after their Special Scar they may feel shocked, angry, betrayed or any combination of those. Sadly, there is no research about the emotional effects of these incisions on women.

Once the woman decides she wants to have a vaginal birth it can be very difficult to find a care provider who is willing to assist a VBAC after a Special Scar (VBASSC). The search usually requires calling many doctors and/or midwives before locating one that will attend a trial of labor. When a care provider is not initially open to the idea, it is usually best to not even try talking them into it. It is unlikely that you will be the one to change his or her mind. University hospitals tend to be more willing to assist due to their size and staff. Some home birth midwives are willing to attend VBASSCs when not legally restricted from doing so by their state.

Many care providers are unwilling to assist a VBASSC because the risk of rupture is slightly higher than the risk of rupture after a low transverse incision. The generally accepted risk of rupture for low transverse incisions is 0.4-0.9% while the risk of rupture for inverted T, classical and J incisions is 1.9%.(2) Interestingly, low vertical incisions have no more of an increase in the risk of rupture than low transverse incisions.(3) If the cesarean was performed preterm there is a minimal increase in the risk of rupture.(4) As we know from Dr. Sarah Buckley’s writings, if a woman is allowed to labor unhindered her birth much more likely to go as it was designed.

Clearly, there is a need for further studies on these scars, the effects on future pregnancies and the effects on the mother emotionally. The few studies that are available used a relatively small number of subjects. Therefore, without clear evidence of exceptional risk the woman and her partner should be the ones to make the decision whether or not she attempts to have a vaginal birth. Care providers should not be making decisions about VBASSC due to a level of fear or a lack of information. Indeed, if the care provider does have that much fear he or she should excuse themselves from serving the woman and let her find a care provider who is willing to serve her and trust her body to work as it was designed. There are already a number of women who have succeeded in having a VBASSC. To read their stories, for more information about this topic and access to the studies that I have mentioned, please visit http://www.specialscars.org.

(1) Patterson et al. Maternal and Perinatal Morbidity With Cesarean.Obstet Gynecol 2002;100:633-7
(2) Landon et al. Trial of Labor after Prior Cesarean Delivery. N Engl J Med 2004;351:2581-9.
(3) Shipp et al. Intrapartum Uterine Rupture. Obstet Gynecol 1999;94:735-40.
(4) Sciscione et al. Preterm Cesarean Delivery and Uterine Rupture. Obstet Gynecol 2008;111:648-53.

What do you say?

2011-05-23T11:42:00.000-07:00

What do you say when a woman comes to you, tells you the story of her traumatic birth experience that ends with her feeling that her body caused the traumatic chain of events, when you know that it was in fact her care provider's lack of evidence based practice that caused the trauma?

Scenario: First time mom feels the pangs of labor and heads into the hospital. She is nervous and excited when she finds out that she is 4cm dilated and will be admitted. She is anxious to meet her very first child, but nervous as she has no idea what to expect. She walks the halls endlessly, hoping that it will not be long. She goes to bed in hopes of some sleep before she begins her life involving sleepless nights. She wakes to the nurses explaining that a Pitocin drip will be started because her body simply hasn't progressed as much as they would like it to. She is not given any of the risks or side effects - nothing to worry about. Pit units increase hourly, her body still isn't responding as quickly as the doctor would like. Never encouraged to get up and walk around, move, sway, dance. Only stay in bed with monitors watching and listening. Within hours of starting the pit, the doctor comes in and explains that breaking the bag of waters will speed things along. She is excited at the idea, and allows it. She is not explained any of the risks. Immediately contractions are unbearable. She begs for anything to help. She is turned down for an epidural due to a back injury. She is offered a narcotic to help ease the pain, never explaining what it might do to her, or what side effects it may have. She gladly accepts, hoping for a reprieve from the horrible pain.

Finally - she begins to feel the urge to push. However with this urge comes instruction from the nurses, NOT to push. The doctor wasn't there yet. She needed to push. She couldn't help but push. She vaguely hears the heartrate monitor slow down. Rushing sounds around the room. Rushing, hushed tones. She looks up and there are so many people, looking at her. She is told that her baby is not responding well to labor, and that she needs to get onto her hands and knees to see if it helps. It doesn't. Baby's heartrate continues to slow, and takes a longer time coming back up. She is told to quickly flip onto her left side and begin pushing. Baby's heartrate slows. She is told that she has 5 minutes to get her baby out, or else it will be an emergency cesarean. She is terrified, and pushes with all of her might. They cut her, while pulling out a vacuum. No risks or side effects are explained. They simply say that they need to get the baby out. Now. Push now!

She pushes with all of her might, bursting blood vessels in her eyes. They use the vacuum on her baby's head, pulling. Pulling. Finally, woosh. Baby emerges. She only gets a short glimpse of her baby on her chest as they are rubbing her down violently. No gentle meeting, no emotional first look. They take her baby away to clean, weigh, and measure her. "No wonder she was stuck! She is over 9 pounds!", they say. They take 30 minutes to sew her up from the cut and then extended tear from the vacuum. No explanations are given still. When she finally receives the baby into her arms, she is wrapped up tight like a burrito.

Her recovery is full of pain and tears, as the pain from the wound on her perineum is excruciating and makes it difficult to sleep, to nurse or enjoy her baby. People told her how "lucky" she had been to avoid a cesarean, and how the birth she had was necessary because of how big her baby was. That thank goodness the baby didn't die from getting stuck, being over nine pounds. People nodded their heads in agreement when she told them that she would have a cesarean with the next baby, to avoid the trauma she endured the first time.

It isn't for another 3 1/2 years that she learns that her experience didn't have to be that way. It wasn't until after she had decided to have an elective cesarean with her son which resulted in a 9 day NICU stay due to severe respiratory distress. After the neonatologist pulled her into the "family waiting room" while her son was being fully intubated and explained that this was "a common side effect" of elective cesareans in particular, but also cesareans in general. She was never told any of the risks of a cesarean by the OB who was telling her the risks of a vaginal delivery with another large baby.

She wasn't told until nearly 3 1/2 years and a permanent scar later that Pitocin is a drug WELL known for causing fetal distress, and even death. She wasn't ever encouraged to get up and move around, to work *with* her body, instead of accepting drugs that put her baby in unnecessary risk. It wasn't until she birthed her 10lb 10oz baby girl onto her bed at home, that she knew her body was more than capable of birthing a large baby....without drugs, without intervention.

But her story is pretty easy to identify what went wrong, if you know enough about the physiology of childbirth and how the common drugs used can affect things. Some other stories are more involved, and women genuinely believe that their body was to blame. The sad part is - 98% of the stories that I hear of that involve major fetal distress and a cesarean involve an induction or augmentation with pitocin. And what is heartbreaking is that almost ALL of them shouldn't ever have been induced or augmented to begin with. They were given scary scenarios in which baby would be greatly harmed or even die if they didn't induce or move labor along faster.

They were lied to.

And no, I don't think that all doctors are evil. I genuinely believe that some of them have just lost touch with evidence-based medicine, and don't know what they're doing. But it doesn't remove responsibility from them. Some are too wrapped up in having too many clients, wanting to get them in and get them out. They are the ones responsible for causing a baby to go into distress - not the mother's body. Not the baby. The doctor, quite scarily, prescribes a drug well known for its damaging effects and then swoops in to save mom and baby from the very thing s/he put into motion in the first place.

Women and babies are paying for this. And what's worse is - there are so many women who will willingly sign up for a surgical delivery (and the many, many risks that come with it) for their next baby because they are terrified of repeating the situation from their first birth. What do you say? Do you cry out that they could have had a much different story to tell? Do you tell them that their doctor was completely misinformed, or outright lied to them?

Will they listen? Will they listen to save the next baby, or cling to their story to save themselves from any responsibility or feelings of guilt for the first?

We have to try. Gently, but we have to try. I am willing to risk sounding like a lunatic (even though the information I give is 100% backed by the medical literature that their care provider is supposed to know as well) and possibly bruise some feelings if I think there's even a TINY chance something will spark. My heart nearly literally bleeds for these women. Without having someone to get in *my* face, I never would have gone on to birth my 10lb 10oz baby at home. I would have believed that my body was broken and incapable of birthing the very babies that God allowed me to grow. I would have believed that the intervention that nearly damaged my first child, was necessary.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes they (we) listen. Please don't stay silent. You never know who is listening.

"Dear Ms. Birthkeeper" - A message from the PowerBirth founder:

2011-05-17T14:03:00.001-07:00

I received this today, and from what I understand about dealing with bullies who like to feel they can intimidate people, I am responding in a public manner instead of dealing privately.

Hi Ms. Birthkeeper,
I pray that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit be with you and heal you from whatever it is that makes you so unhappy that you feel the need to attack me and PowerBirth the way you and your peers have done for the last two years!
You really do not understand what it is that you are doing and how wrong you are in what you write and make the world believe, which I can tell you in truth, is wrong!
Know this, though, that for every negative untruth you speak or write about me, it will be turned around and used for good- in ways you don't even understand.
I pray for your healing!
Lydi Owen

The people who need prayers, are the many women who have been traumatized - both physically and emotionally - from your technique. The women who need prayer are the ones who have ended up with recurring nightmares of what was done to them at the hands of you, and the Midwives like you, during what should have been a beautiful and peaceful time in their lives. Thankfully because of more women coming out with the truth, more are able to see that they are not alone and can begin to heal. Or the ones who had experiences like this and were happy with it, because they didn't know any better, can see that what was done to them was *wrong*. Just like the women who have cesareans or traumatic births in the hospital for no good reason, and don't know that there could have been better. They are simply happy to be alive, and to have a healthy baby.

There is not one ounce of untruth in what I have written or spoken about - nor in any of the birth stories of the women who have been greatly harmed. It is shameful that their stories have been twisted, manipulated, and pointed out as being lies. Women have and are still coming forward with their stories. All along the same lines. Complications that have been twisted to say that there was cause to intervene - when all the while they were in fact iatrogenic. Control by the Midwife. Hands violently shoved into their vagina for every contraction. Being *told* to push, even though they didn't have the urge. Shoulder dystocias as a result of the forced pushing, hemorrhages, a feeling of being raped. This is not untruth. This has been proven on video footage. You cannot call something an "untruth" if there are both first-hand witnesses, and the act was caught on tape and in testimonials (albeit positive - again, going back to not knowing any better) for Powerbirth.

You have said that you have never, nor have you advocated for a Midwife telling a mom when to push or manual dilation. However, you do this very thing on video. One of the moms actually turns to the camera and says how wonderful it is to have the Midwife open your cervix for her, so that she has less work.

On one testimonials page, pushing because a Midwife says so and manual dilation are spoken of repeatedly, as seen in these comments:

"...I decided to go ahead and do the "powerbirth" that I had done with my first child. This is where you push before you are fully dilated and your midwife helps to push your cervix aside until you are complete. This was "invented" by Lydi Owen, the midwife I had for my first birth and the midwife who trained K."

"What a surprise I was at 8 and with a light push opened to 10 instantly."

"She had me pushing with some of the contractions after I was out of the tub and that opened me right up. I remember going from a 7 to a 10 in almost no time at all. Then I remember K saying, "Your a 10, push that baby out!" So I did."

And some anonymous comments from women who have been traumatized or know women who have been:

"I happen to know of the creator of powerbirth (from the same city), and all the women who I knew who walked away from her powerbirthing were traumatized like you were."

"Oh wow. I had no idea there was a name for it, but this very thing happened to me in Las Vegas with a very experienced mw. I was in shock for weeks, unable to believe it had really happened. I believe, though cannot prove, that her interventions led directly to birth trauma that affected my baby for weeks after the birth and led to a serious disruption in our breastfeeding relationship. I guess she thought I was taking too long when she decided to dilate me from a 6 to a 10 all the while just telling me I had a "little lip." It wasn't until after the birth that she told me what she'd really done, complete with a giggle and a "aren't I cute?" look."

"When I was a student midwife, I attended a few births with one of Lydi's associates and one birth with Lydi. I had no clue what I was witnessing at the time. All I knew was that there was no way I'd ever have a baby with either of them. It did shape the way I practiced though - It strengthened my resolve to be hands off, to shut my mouth and to keep the power and choices firmly in the birthing mothers hands."

"This is like reading a page from my own life! I also had a meddlesome midwife who manually dilated me and broke my water with her fingernail during both of my births. I found my own peace by becoming a midwife who genuinely respects women and the beauty of their births."

"I didn't realize it until reading this but my experience with my first birth was the same! So, it just hit me, I too had a power birth that I was unaware of and totally against! I had a very hard time getting over it. I moved away from Southern Utah and had two other babies, natural, at home and they were both amazing experiences. I educated myself a lot but could never pin point what went wrong with that first birth, until now!!!"

"I am so sorry you had to go through this... but at the same time, I feel almost a relief that there is a name for this kind of abuse and it wasn't a figment of my imagination....What you wrote is almost exactly what I went through - the stretching of the cervix while being held down and yelled at to push, her hand up there with every push, lithotomy position, begging her to stop... I couldn't push like that! It's no wonder my baby never moved down. We eventually made our escape to the hospital and I'd never been so relieved to see an OB... until he tried to do a vaginal exam and I was already traumatized - yelling at him to stop and screaming. I still couldn't push my baby out and ended up with another c/s. But I was horrified with my experience and traumatized."

At first I thought maybe you actually believed what you wrote. That you believed none of the stories could possibly be true. That women haven't been harmed because of what you have taught. But then your story changed. Multiple times. Your website has been re-written numerous times and has gone from a staunch opposition to the idea that you have ever manually dilated a cervix or have advocated for it, to a near admission of guilt when you posted an article by Ina May Gaskin about using forceful cervical pressure in an emergency. Except none of the situations in where you are viewed on video, and in none of the births of the women who have come forward contained emergent situations that necessitated the immediate delivery of the baby.

Let me say that no Midwife is perfect. I am *far* from perfect. Every Midwife must continue to educate, research, learn, and most of all ... change the way she practices if she comes to an understanding that there may be harm in what she has done. I have changed the way that I am with laboring mothers since I began, and continually assess myself. Unfortunately, instead of seeing remorse from you or from the other Midwives who practice this technique, there has only been a continuation of lies and manipulation and slander. Slander their character, and in turn cry out that you have been slandered. With every beat of my heart I pray that you please just stop.

As I have watched the PowerBirth promotional video, and nearly cry for how the women and babies are treated ... I have also had the founder of ICPA (International Chiropractic Pediatric Association) view a clip of it. This was her response:

"I have questions as to why the midwife is internal, why the mother is on her back and I am most concerned about the apparent amount of force applied to the baby's delicate spine by the midwife during the actual delivery. This is far from the usual 'hands off' approach I am used to seeing with midwives and I cannot help but wonder about the negative effects of these interventions on both mother and baby."

You say on your website that a woman would be better off having a cesarean section than to be attended by a hands-off Midwife. I am distraught by this statement, because of what damage it may do. Do you assume or tell women that a hands-off Midwife would sit in the corner and do nothing if an emergency were to arise? That because we believe that a woman's body is designed to birth without intervention and does *best* hormonally when she does so (as seen by the works of Dr. Michel Odent, Dr. Sarah Buckley and many others), we would not jump into action if something went awry? I cannot speak for all hands-off Midwives, but all of the ones that I know personally are thoroughly trained in the event of any type of birth emergency. But we understand that from a hormonal and physiological standpoint that birth is safest when not interfered with.

I will reiterate that women have and are still coming forward who have been traumatized by Powerbirth and its practitioners, whether or not they (the practitioner) actually uses the term "Powerbirth". They are coming forward, no longer feeling alone. No longer allowing themselves to feel intimidated or manipulated.

So to you, Ms. Owen, I wish you a good day and a sincere thank you for directing people to my blog. My writings, and the writings of the brave women who have come forward already have been turned around for good. Victims of this no longer feel alone. That is a bittersweet victory in and of itself. As to the statement of what "me and my peers" have done over the past 2 years, I assure you that we are each working to expose this individually. I am not professionally associated with any of the other women who have spoken out about this. We are simply working to bring awareness to women that there is harm being done, and to allow space for the women who have been traumatized to come forward and not be alone.

To the women out there - if you have been negatively affected by this technique, even if unnamed by your care provider, please come forward. You are not alone. You can contact me, or any of the other women who have put their story out there, as seen in these blogs:

MandalaMom

Complete Beginnings

FREE Waterbirth Information Night

2011-04-05T11:09:00.000-07:00

*~*Join us for a FREE Waterbirth Information Night on
Saturday, April 30th from 5-9pm in St. George!*~*

Have you ever wondered about the science behind giving birth in water? Have you heard myths about baby not being able to breathe, or gravity not helping in water?
Come with any and all questions!

Free food, giveaways, information packets and more ...

Visit the Events page for more information. Hope to see you there!

Find additional information and RSVP on our Facebook Event Page

Date: Saturday, April 30th
Time: 5:00-9:00pm
Location: Sage Hills Yoga Studio in St. George
Cost: FREE

Prenatal Yoga in Southern Utah

2011-02-24T18:34:00.000-08:00

Mandala Mom ~MotherBaby Services~ is offering prenatal yoga classes two times a week at Sage Hills. First class is free!

From the Facebook page, MandalaMom ~MotherBaby Services~:

Prenatal yoga is offered two times per week at Sage Hills: Tuesday at 6 pm and Saturday at 10:45 am. Please arrive a few minutes early to your first class, wear comfortable clothes, and bring a bottle of water and a yoga mat. Mats are also available for rent for $1/class. Your introductory prenatal class is free.

You Might be a Counterculture Mama If....

2011-02-24T13:12:00.000-08:00

I love this post. I laughed all the way through it, because with the exception of one or two, this is me. :)

This is from MamaEve:

I‘ve never considered myself strange. In fact, I’ve always just wanted to be normal and mainstream. But after having a twitter converstation with @TheLeakyBoob about the many uses of breastmilk, I realized I’m just not ever going to be. So here’s my tribute to all the counterculture mamas out there, reluctantly or otherwise:

You might be a counterculture mama if:

1. The only thing a crib has ever been used for in your home is to store clothes (if you own one at all).

2. You consumed sushi, raw cheese, deli meat, beer, or wine (or all of the above) while pregnant.

3. The first doctor your child saw was a chiropractor.

4. When you open your medicine cabinet, you find various essential oils and a neti pot, and not much else.

5. Your placentas are buried somewhere in your yard, if you didn’t eat them.

6. When you ask your children how babies eat, they lift up their shirts (even the boys).

7. Dr. Bronner’s is the only commercial cleaner in your home, and you use it for everything.

8. You know was EC means.

9. The only time your child is strapped into a car seat is when they’re in the car.

10. One or more of your children were born in the water.

11. You drink a beer a day while you’re nursing.

12. You own at least three different baby slings.

13. You know why that kid is wearing an amber necklace.

14. When you weaned your baby at 15 months, you were the first of your friends.

15. When you change a dirty diaper, you take it to the toilet, not the garbage can.

16. You’ve squirted breastmilk on your child’s eye/ear/nose/butt.

17. The Environmental Working Group’s Cosmetic’s Database is bookmarked on your computer, and you don’t buy anything over a 2.

18. Your toddler doesn’t know what cow’s milk or juice tastes like.

19. You own a Moby or similar wrap and know how to tie it.

20. You can’t watch “A Baby Story” or “Deliver Me” because you end up yelling at the television.

21. When the Hyland’s Teething Tablet recall was announced, you ran out to the store and bought every bottle you could find.

{The following were added after the original list was posted — thanks to Lisa, Julia, Liz, Ashley, Alexis, Grace, Jean, Rachel, Christy & Danielle for the suggestions!}

22. Your child only weaned because he was too busy running around to remember to breastfeed anymore.

23. You know what arnica is and you know how to use it.

24. When you go to the pediatrician’s office, you bring your own printed copies of the WHO growth charts.

25. You know what tandem nursing is, and you’ve done it.

26. Your child’s first solid food was avocado, banana, sweet potato, or meat that you cooked and pureed yourself.

27. You know what a Diva cup, sponge beads and mama cloth are.

28. You have no idea how many times a day (or night) you breastfeed your child(ren).

29. You own a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility.

30. You educate your children but don’t send them to school.

31. You can walk and breastfeed at the same time.

32. You’re going to have to explain to your boy children why their penises don’t look like their dad’s.

33. The staff at the pediatrician’s office knows you as THAT patient.

34. You cook things from scratch because you want to be able to pronounce every ingredient.

35. You know how to breastfeed your child while they’re strapped in a carseat in a moving car.

Can you come up with more? Add them to the comments and peruse what other people have to say!

Powerbirth! Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics (Or Videos, in this case)

2011-02-01T11:10:00.000-08:00

It's interesting to me that the entire Powerbirth site has been completely re-worded. This blog has been referenced, stating that I have slandered the Powerbirth Midwives. Perhaps this is because of the outcry that has come about with exposure to what the Powerbirth Technique has done to women. PTSD, PPD, and even reconstructive surgery to name a few of the consequences. Some of the women who have been brave enough to come out about their births have now been called liars. They have been treated with the same sort of behavior that one would receive from a rapist when being confronted by their victim.

"You asked for it."

I only wish I weren't being literal here. But that's exactly what they are being told. They are now accusing me of slander because of my blog post from nearly 2 years ago, after watching the PROMOTIONAL video for this "technique". Ironically enough, it can't be slander if it's true. The ONLY thing I wrote about in my blog is what I observed through the very video you can order from the website, as well as my interactions with one of the women who had used a Powerbirth Midwife, and ended up traumatized. Was she lying? I believed her. As well as the fact that she has her birth on VIDEO. I also quoted directly from the Powerbirth website, which again has now been TOTALLY re-worded.

Here is the definition of Slander:

slan·der (slndr)
n.
1. Law Oral communication of false statements injurious to a person's reputation.
2. A false and malicious statement or report about someone.

It can't be considered false if what is said is verified by video footage of the very thing that is being communicated. Or perhaps they don't understand that they are on VIDEO doing the things they swear they don't do? I'm not sure.

Manual Dilation? Check - it's on one of the early promotional videos. One of the women who was *clearly* not visibly in transition and was just announced (by the Midwife) to be 6 1/2 centimeters, turned to the camera cheerily and said, "In the hospital they won't push your cervix aside for you!"

Forced Purple Pushing? Check - also on the early promotional video. The same woman from above is said to be only 6cm, is contently watching Ren and Stimpy on the television, is laughing at what is going on .... and then is told to grab her legs, pull them back, and push with the contraction. By the Midwife. Midwife says, "Push! Okay, quick breath. Push!" But according to the newly worded website, Powerbirth doesn't condone this type of pushing. Hmmm.

Hands always in vagina? Check - on both videos. The one thing you will see in plenty is vaginal exams. There is hardly a scene in either of the videos where there ISN'T a hand inside of the woman's vagina. Every. Single. Contraction. On the early video, anyway. Every single contraction, the Midwife's hand goes back inside of the vagina.

And as to the claim that I am writing about this because I am trying to wipe out competition, all I can do is laugh. I wrote my original post before I ever moved here, or had any idea whatsoever that I would eventually move here. Never mind the fact that I will be moving out of the area within the next six months as well. I have no desire to take away Midwives who are truly helping women. Who are practicing in a way that respects women and babies, and does nothing to harm them. Now, are the Powerbirth Midwives doing these things to intentionally harm women and babies? I don't believe so. However, when you have women go to them who are traumatized by what was done to them, and are then publicly accused of lying...we're talking about some seriously unethical practices.

A friend of mine said it perfectly:

I think women in the UC community have always known this...that your body takes over and pushes when it's ready and it doesn't matter how dilated you are (because we never even know how dilated we are since we're not performing exams on ourselves usually...) Anyway, I guess it doesn't really matter but I have been frustrated that people don't seem to realize that her idea that women can push before 10 cm is fine as an article but that CANNOT be all PowerBirth is because that's not enough to base an empire on, kwim? How is that simple idea a foundation for a whole "technique" with it's own branding, videos, manual, etc, etc? It's not. The word "technique" implies something active that the midwife is doing, not just the wisdom to sit back and not stress about how far dilated the mom is when she starts pushing instinctively.

If Powerbirth were only about women pushing instinctively, and it not mattering how far dilated their cervix is then there wouldn't be any issue. It couldn't be coined as someone's "technique", because women who have knowledge about birth have known this for thousands of years. But let's not forget that this Midwife has not only now changed her entire website, but she is caught on video doing dozens of vaginal exams. I think we counted eight times that her hand was inside of ONE woman's vagina during labor in the early promotional video. EIGHT! How is this not a violation?

My only goal in all of this is to bring this type of practice to light. To stand behind the women who have been traumatized, even the ones who are too afraid to come forward. As I thought about this last thing, I read some things about abuse victims, and why some don't come forward. A lot of it made sense with what is going on with some of the women in this area who ARE afraid to speak out publicly about what was done to them.

Sadly, society often questions the authenticity of a victim's claim. She may feel as if she is the one being put on trial due to the nature of the investigation. When questions pertaining to what she was wearing, whether she was provocatively dressed, where she was, how much that she may have had to drink and possible preventive actions are not handled correctly the victim can be made to feel as if she is somehow to blame.

Shame is one reason why some women do not come forward and file complaints or press charges. Rape is the most brutal, invasive crime that a person could ever go through. Some women find it embarrassing to admit that they put themselves in a situation where rape could occur. They may feel dirty or damaged somehow by what was done to them. All of these factors often lead women to decide that they do not want anyone else to know.

These women believed that because they were hiring a home birth Midwife with a large number of births behind them, that they were safe. They were avoiding the hospital and Obstetric Surgeons, so they should be okay. They were led to believe that they would have an Empowering experience in the safety of their own home.

The bottom line is that this is being covered up. What has occurred to women is being brushed under the rug, and labeled as either a lie or slander. However, truth always has a way of coming out. Especially when it's forever caught on video.

For stories of what has been done to two women here in the name of Powerbirth, please visit these blogs. As a warning, the stories are graphic and very disturbing. If you have experienced trauma due to Powerbirthing, I urge you to come forward. There have been more women I have come across with stories like this, but are afraid to come forward. There is strength in numbers, mamas.

Power Birth - NOT to be confused with "Empowered Birth"

Birth of My Third- "Chipper" February 6th 2007

Vaginal Exams - Why They are UNnecessary in Normal Labors

2011-01-24T09:38:00.000-08:00

Most women anymore believe that vaginal exams just simply come with labor. It's a package deal. Go into labor, hand in vagina. Often repeatedly, in fact, especially in the hospital. Though it is definitely not limited to hospital births. Some Midwives believe that vaginal exams are necessary for a safe home birth, even though the only women birthing at home are (should be) women with low risk pregnancies. However, evidence just doesn't back up the idea that vaginal exams in low risk labors are life-saving.

For the majority of women who are low risk, vaginal exams are very much pointless and do have the possibility of causing harm. And not only physical harm, but mental/emotional harm as well. Is the risk of physical harm low with a care provider who knows what they're doing? Sure. Extremely low. But it's still there, and it's added unnecessarily. Each and every vaginal exam done pushes bacteria up toward the cervix. Doesn't matter if the care provider has on sterile gloves. Bacteria is pushed from the vulva and vaginal opening, up into the birth canal and into the cervix. The risk is dramatically increased once the waters have released. There is also a risk of "accidentally" breaking the amniotic sac. I saw this happen when I was a Doula. Now, the Midwife could have broken it on purpose (which is what I believe happened due to other reasons), but that particular area of the sac could have been weakened by the repeated exams that had been done up to that point.

Some women will say, "How will I know when I'm 10cm and I need to push though?". Not all women are at a full 10cm when they get the unbearable urge, and their body takes over. At the same time, some women can be 10cm for quite a while before they get that unbearable urge. The point is, women should follow her body (never instructed on when to push!), and unless she is pushing for an abnormal length of time there is no reason to know where the cervix is at. Most Midwives are pretty good about interpreting external signs, without the need of checking internally. Most are good at gauging when a mom is in the early stages of labor, or when she is very close to birthing her baby. Most are also good at gauging when things are not normal, and a more hands-on approach may be needed.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that vaginal exams are NEVER necessary. But, in normal labors with women who have had low-risk pregnancies, it is rare. There is absolutely no need to know what a woman's cervix is doing in labor, when things are moving along normally. Knowing how open the cervix is does NOT tell us how soon a woman will have her baby. A woman can be a few centimeters dilated for days or even weeks without progressing to active labor, and a woman can be fully closed and have her baby within hours.

In my experience, it the emotionally detrimental risk to vaginal exams is the worst. Especially if you are serving a VBAC mom. Think about it this way. Mama is laboring beautifully, handling contractions well and in a labor groove. Midwife interrupts this groove to have her lie on her back, open her legs wide and insert her hand into mama's vagina. She announces that she is 5cm dilated and 75% effaced. Mama thought she was much further along. Now begins, "Is this taking longer than it should? Am I supposed to be further dilated? Can I do this?". OR, Midwife announces that there "has been no change" since the last check. This discourages mama. "Why no change? Is something wrong? Shouldn't something be happening?" Especially if you happen to have a VBAC mama who was diagnosed with "Failure to Progress". Mama is now doubting whether or not she can do it. Mama is now out of her groove. The laboring process was disrupted by an unnecessary, irrelevant cervical check. Does either of the above scenarios tell of how much longer this mama will have in labor? Not at all.

Women do not need to be rescued from labor and birth. Women do not need to be managed during labor and birth. Quite the opposite. Women should be left to labor in the most respectful of environments, and not interfered with. Vaginal exams ARE invasive by very definition of the word, even when necessary. To claim otherwise is a disregard of what it literally is. Even when I feel that a vaginal exam is necessary, I always ask permission, and I always apologize for the intrusion. I would NEVER want someone to feel that it is their very right to insert a hand inside of my body.

I personally believe that only because women have been trained to view vaginal exams as normal in labor, that it is accepted as a "package deal". If more women understood that they are widely unnecessary in normal labors, maybe more would come to a point of understanding that they have absolute right to refuse, and that it's probably a good idea to avoid them over all.

Women: If you have a care provider who wants to do a vaginal exam, ask WHY. What will it tell you? Is there a valid medical reason for checking? Will the benefit of checking outweigh any risks in doing so?

My heart wishes that women would come to KNOW that they can birth without any interference. We have a society full of women who believe that they cannot possibly birth without help, instruction, or someone controlling it. And more sadly, a society full of women who believe that they are broken.

"We have a secret in our culture. And it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are STRONG." ~ Laura Stavoe Harm

The Art of Deceit

2011-01-05T12:53:00.000-08:00

One thing my mother taught me well was the value of honesty. Tell the truth, even if it means that you'll look bad or get into trouble, because if you get caught in a lie the consequences will likely be even worse. I have tried to apply this to every area in my life - but especially in Midwifery.

Don't lie about how many births you've attended. Don't lie about what experience you have. Don't lie about being comfortable with something you aren't. And for heaven's sake, DON'T lie about the beliefs that you have about birth and the way that you practice.

To do any of these things is not only deceitful, but also manipulative. A woman who hires a Midwife who does any of the above, isn't choosing with full disclosure. She isn't given the opportunity to do so, because she's been robbed by deceit. Now, to be fair I am speaking specifically of ongoing behavior. I am not speaking of past mistakes or of things omitted accidentally. I am speaking of women who choose to be Midwives, and then put women in danger by lying about the way that they practice.

NO care provider - whether s/he be Doctor or Midwife - should believe that they control birth. NO care provider has the right to TELL women what they can and cannot do. This is an abuse of power. I am completely blown away when I hear a woman tell me that her previous Midwife didn't ALLOW waterbirth. Or that she didn't ALLOW her to get into a squat or on hands and knees. Or that she didn't ALLOW her to birth in her own bed - she made her get on the hard floor.

This. Is. NOT. Okay. It needs to stop.

More so, women need to learn to watch for red flags. Not just when they have a hospital based care provider. Also (and almost more importantly!) at home. If you have a Midwife who places restrictions on you, no matter HOW logical the reason may seem, then you have a Midwife who believes she owns birth. It is YOUR birth, it is not your care providers birth.

Somehow it seems more egregious when this behavior comes from home birth Midwives. Many women believe that they are ahead of the "risk" (as far as having a bad experience) if they hire a home birth Midwife. Sadly, it's not that simple. I have come across more Midwives recently who happily induce at home for no medical reason (Midwife going on vacation, mom wanting to have baby on a certain date, mom being pressured by family members), and when they do so they not only put the woman and baby at risk for complications but they also put the woman at risk of losing the home birth she planned for. This is unacceptable. And yet, it happens ALL the time.

I have a huge issue with a statement I have heard from both Midwives and Doulas. "I may not agree with it, but I have to meet my clients where they are at."

This is a COPOUT. Plain and simple. If we know non-medically warranted inductions (whether they occur with natural ingredients or pharmaceutical) increase the risk of complications, it SHOULDN'T be done. This includes what some describe as "harmless" membrane stripping. The prenatal period is an amazing time for education. EDUCATE clients on why baby needs to come ONLY when baby is ready. EDUCATE clients on the physiology of labor, and why it is so very important to leave things be. It's a complete copout to say that we have to meet clients at where they're at. What if Midwives were able to circumcise? I know of some Midwives who have made the above statement who would hit the roof if someone asked them to circumcise their son. So why is this different? If you wouldn't compromise what you believe in and know to be the safest and healthiest when it comes to something like this - why on EARTH is it okay to do so for labors and births?

It's simple. It's not okay.

But some Midwives might lose some clients if they stood firm in keeping things as safe and hands-off as possible. Some Midwives aren't okay with losing volume, even if it's in order to make sure that births stay as safe and healthy as possible. I personally have never had a client ask me to strip her membranes. Or to induce her. Why? Because she knew I wouldn't, first of all. But also the fact that we spent the entire prenatal period talking about these things. It's really very simple. I believe in women owning birth. However, *I* don't have to be party to certain choices. I wouldn't attend a woman who chose an elective cesarean. I wouldn't attend a woman who chose an elective induction. I don't have any qualms with refusing to do things that directly puts the baby at risk.

Some Midwives have used this mentality as the justification for lying about the way that they practice. If a woman were to ask a Midwife how she feels about induction or waterbirth or ________, the Midwife could say whatever she wants about what she believes while in reality she may be doing the very things in births that she claims to be against. Women won't get a truly clear picture of how this Midwife will be at their birth.

Moms:

*Watch for red flags, even with home birth Midwives. Not all Midwives believe in leaving things alone. Not all Midwives believe that you are capable of birthing without her help.

*You can fire a Midwife at any time. Seriously. Even if it's in labor. If she begins abusing her perceived power by trying to restrict you, or to force you to do something that doesn't seem right ... kick her out.

*If you ask "Can I birth in water/on my bed/in a squat/on hands and knees", and your care provider either flat out says no, or hesitates, or gives you reasons why these things may not be a good idea ... FIRE him or her.

*It is wonderful to love your care provider. However, if you ignore red flags due to this, you may end up hurting in the end.

*It is important to ask about your Midwife's hospital transfer and intervention rates. It is important to talk to women who have used your Midwife for their births. You are going to get the best idea of how they practice, from former clients. Did the Midwife do vaginal exams? How many? Did the Midwife seem nervous? Did the Midwife restrict her in any way? Did the Midwife interfere in the hour after birth, if there were no issues with baby?

*If a Midwife is hesitant to put you in contact with former clients, or has a million reasons why she has a high transfer or intervention rate ... RUN. Hire a new Midwife.

*Ask your Midwife how she feels about women going overdue, women being overweight, women having big/small babies, women having had prior cesarean(s), waters having been released longer than 4/12/18/24/48 hours, women wanting to birth in the water, women who don't want the Midwife catching baby (mom or dad or WHOEVER wants to do the catching). You have the right to make an INFORMED decision about who you are hiring to come into *your* home and attend *your* birth.

Midwives:

*We do not own birth. We do not control birth. We do not make birth safe.

*We have absolutely positively NO right to tell a client that they cannot birth a certain way.

*We have absolutely no business lying about the way that we practice. If you aren't a hands-off Midwife, don't you dare claim to be. Women have the RIGHT to know absolutely who they are choosing to attend their birth. Do not deceive them in order to bring in more clients.

*There are no varying degrees of abuse. Abuse is abuse. Vaginal examination without absolute INFORMED consent is abuse. Manual dilation of the cervix without absolute INFORMED consent is abuse. Administering drugs without absolute INFORMED consent is abuse.

*If we have too many fears about birth (I'm not talking about a healthy respect for what *can* go wrong...I'm talking about fear), we are going to end up screwing women over. Example ... asking them to get out of the water where they are laboring beautifully because WE are nervous is NOT okay. OUR emotions need to be under control and in check in order to serve women to the best of our ability.

*If we have fears about women going overdue, women being overweight, women having big/small babies, women having had prior cesarean(s), waters having been released longer than 4/12/18/24/48 hours, women wanting to birth in the water, women who don't want you catching .... BE HONEST ABOUT IT. Be upfront and let our clients know from the BEGINNING that we have issues with any of these things. That way they have the option of finding a care provider who will better suit them, and not freak out if they happen to fall in any of the above categories.

Women are so often deceived by their care providers. Midwives, let us be an example of the type of care women SHOULD receive. Please, just be honest. No matter how it may make us look. Remember that a Midwife will always have critics. Regardless of her age, birth numbers, licensure or certification status, etc. The LEAST we can do if we are choosing to attend women in birth is be HONEST about any and all of the things listed above.

Victims of "Power Birth" Speak Out

2010-12-22T13:41:00.000-08:00

I wrote a blog post in February of '09 about a horrific practice I had just learned of, called "Power Birth". (You can read it HERE) Since that time, I have come into contact with more than a few women who were completely traumatized by this "technique", which is nothing more than an abuse of perceived power, and flat out birth rape. Unfortunately, abuse in childbirth doesn't just occur in the hospitals with Obstetricians. Abuse is happening by women who are supposed to be upholding the sacred art of Midwifery. By women who are simply supposed to be a support in birth.

Thankfully women are starting to speak out. Read Mandala Mom's recent blog post about her experience with this "technique", and the PTSD that followed her first birth. This needs to be exposed, and it needs to stop.

If you have been a victim of Power Birth - speak up. Change doesn't happen until things are brought to light.

Power Birth--NOT to be Confused with "Empowered Birth"

Dear OB Who Handled her ER Miscarriage ...

2010-08-07T09:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Cedar O.B.,

I came into the Emergency Room on August 5th, 2010 to be with a friend who was losing her baby. When I arrived, you were in the middle of explaining to her the options that she had. As you continued talking, you were unaware that you had a Midwife in the room. You were unaware as well, that you were speaking to a student Midwife who knows much more about pregnancy and childbirth than your average patient.

I listened as you used scare tactic and coercive wording to try to get her to agree to a Dilation and Curettage procedure, which even she knew was completely unnecessary at that point in time. I listened as you continued to call it her “pregnancy”, rather than her baby. You may have some women who walk in who aren’t fully excited about being pregnant in the first place, but I can almost guarantee you that when you have a woman walk into the ER in hopes of preventing the loss of her baby, you are dealing with a mom who is emotionally distraught. Calling it a “pregnancy” rather than a baby, is offensive to a mother who is facing losing a child.

You told her several times that whatever she decided was completely up to her. However, you continued to go back to surgery and scare tactic. You told her that she could do expectant management, and be sent home to await the “loss of the pregnancy” (again, offensive), but that she could hemorrhage very quickly and need emergency surgery anyway. You told her that she could be admitted, but that they couldn’t “keep her forever”. Believe me, the hospital was the last place that this mother wanted to be. She has been planning a home birth since finding out that she was pregnant. At one point, you told her that some women chose the Dilation and Curettage “to get it over with faster”. What a lovely way to put it. I’m sure that you could have chosen a different set of words to be more compassionate. However, your motivation was clear to both her and me.

There were also a few things that were said, that were extremely inaccurate. The only two reasons that would fit for saying such things would be that either you were hoping to scare her into surgery, or you were uneducated as to the things you spoke about. Either scenario is distressing.

1) You told her that her white blood cell count was elevated. You did not give her a quantity. The Emergency Room doctor the night before had told her that there can be several reasons for white blood cell count being elevated, and in her case it was probably due to pain and/or the emotional distress that she was experiencing. Doctor, both you and I know from basic medical knowledge that a white blood cell count can be elevated for more reasons than just infection. Yet, this is the reason you gave her. You told her that she may have Chorioamnionitis, and that if she chose expectant management if this was the case, it could quickly turn into a “septic abortion”. Here is the problem with this diagnosis – she had no symptoms of chorioamnionitis. She had been tested for bacterial infection, which as far as we know came back clear. She had no fever. Her abdomen was not tender to the touch. She had no foul smelling discharge. The baby did not have an elevated heartrate, rather the opposite. I understand that not always are symptoms present in the case of chorioamnionitis. However, when you are speaking of something that occurs in less than 2% of pregnancies, and there are zero signs or symptoms of this, the diagnosis would not be plausible.

2) After speaking to her of possibly having Chorioamnionitis, you mentioned that while she had been given IV antibiotics, they don’t tend to work for 24 hours after administration. Doctor, is it not OB and Hospital protocol to give women in labor who test positive for GBS, IV antibiotics roughly four hours before birth to prevent infection in the newborn and mother? Do you not administer a prophylaxis antibiotic one hour prior to most surgeries? So I ask you – which one is correct? I understand that you probably rely on most of your patients to be uneducated to these things, and not question what you are saying. People come in and rely on you to know much more than they do about their condition, which is why they see a doctor in the first place. However, regardless of whether or not a patient is informed to certain medical conditions and treatments, it is inexcusable to use coercion through scare tactic to obtain consent for a treatment or procedure that you are obviously pushing for.

3) My main contention is when you flat out lied to Mrs. P. When speaking yet again of surgery you told her that her baby, at 13/14 weeks, was only about an inch and a half long. You used your finger for reference, stopping at the middle knuckle. Did you think that by lying about the baby’s size, she would agree to surgery because it made her baby less of a baby? With all of the development sites that pregnant women keep up with now, I know that most women know a rough estimate of how big their baby is at any given point in pregnancy. Had you forgotten that Mrs. P. had several ultrasounds up to that point to follow her diagnosis of Subchorionic Hemorrhage? She had just seen her baby on the monitor earlier that day. She knew that he was perfectly formed, and she knew how big he was. She had already begun to feel him move and kick. What really appalled me was that when you found her son to be in the vaginal canal, you told her that by the look and size of him, she was right on in her estimate of being between 13 and 14 weeks. He was roughly 4 inches long from head to rump, and perfectly formed.

I was also deeply disturbed that you were recommending Cytotec (Misoprostol) to a woman with prior uterine surgery. I understand that Cytotec is less of a risk in first and second trimester use, but is nonetheless not approved by the FDA for this use.

When you did the sterile pap exam and found her baby to be in the vaginal canal, you didn’t explain anything that you were doing from that point on. You did not explain to her that you were going to do a manual exploration of her uterus. You simply told her that you were going to “touch” her uterus to make sure that it was firm. I’m sure that some women may not want to know what is being done to them. Sadly, this is the result that we have from people viewing medical personnel as infallible and completely scrupulous.

I understand that you are brand new to the hospital and area. I am saddened that I will be reluctant to refer to you in any way as a care giver to women that I come across. It’s a shame to not have more reliable Obstetricians in Southern Utah. This letter is not to say that there is any legal action being taken, but rather in hopes of making you more aware of some of the women that you may serve. Doctor, please be very careful with your wording and please keep a check on your motives when you are dealing with patients. It would have made my dear friend’s experience a little more bearable had you been more compassionate, and less self-serving. I’m sure somewhere in training there must be sensitivity sessions in situations as hers. Sadly, I have come across many more in the healthcare field that lack this basic of human capabilities, and there’s just no reason for it.

Hopefully from this point forward, you will take my words to heart. You never know how educated a person will be that walks into your office or hospital. I would personally recommend making sure that you are careful to issue advice without bias, in order to avoid any issues in the future.

Sincerely,

Christine Fiscer, Traditional Midwife

The Maternal Bond

2010-07-07T13:00:00.000-07:00

As I sit here and watch our family cat with her three kittens that were born three weeks ago, I realize just how backwards and cruel that we humans have it. She lies there attending to her babies unfailingly. She doesn't wait for them to meow incessantly before lying down to nurse them, doesn't ignore them. She doesn't leave them in their area to sleep by themselves, while she sleeps in a different room. She cleans and inspects them constantly.

As they were born in our living room, as all of us watched quietly, I realized that we give animals more respect while birthing (on average) than we give human women. How would she have reacted if she had had someone shoving a hand inside of her vagina to see how much progress she had made? Or if I had began to shout at her to PUUUSSSHHH!!!?? What if she had people in the room, rudely talking about how much longer it would be, or how excited they are, or about how long they had until an appointment? How would she have reacted if people were talking, period?

I made sure to stress the importance of no one touching the babies, or disturbing them during this vital period of bonding between mom and baby. After all, we know that with animals, if you touch babies immediately or handle them too much, bonding will be changed. Mom may not care for her babies as much as she would if this period was truly undisturbed.

Why has it become accepted in our culture to do all of these things to human women? Why is it okay to disrupt the bonding time between mom and baby? And then why do we wonder why there is a disconnect? I am *heartbroken* when I hear that parents put their babies in not only a separate bed, but a separate BEDROOM. This is cruel. You are taking a brand new baby who is still 10000% dependent on mom and who has spent 10 months hearing mom's heart beat, hearing her breathing rhythm, her voice ... and then removing him from everything familiar. I'll risk sounding judgmental and say it again - this is *cruel*. No other mammal does this with their young. In fact, no other mammal would refuse to nurse their baby because it's inconvenient or feels gross. The way human babies are treated is atrocious. And what's worse is - it's ACCEPTED. It's all about CHOICE, right? Sadly, baby doesn't get a choice in whether or not he's fed artificial food that isn't good for him. Baby doesn't get a choice about whether or not he's abandoned in another room.

So really? Who are these atrocious accepted practices benefiting? The only people who are benefiting are the ones who are supposed to be selflessly loving their baby.

Women would do an amazing thing for their babies by observing how beautifully protective and caring most mammals (on average) are with THEIR young. If this could shift, so many more babies would be better cared for, and the bond would be stronger.

A Year Ago Today

2010-06-26T17:10:00.001-07:00

One year ago today I miscarried our fourth baby. I am doing okay today, mostly because I can concentrate on the life that is currently in my womb, growing and moving and developing. We have been blessed with a baby boy, and I am halfway through my pregnancy. Ironically enough, I got pregnant shortly after what was to be the "due date" of the baby who was not meant to be in my arms. I have struggled with this pregnancy, but ultimately know that he will be a blessing to our family.

Today I have acknowledged the loss of our little one, but I am no longer angry. I still don't understand why I was given a life, and then it was taken away, but I am able to have more faith that it was for a reason.

I'm sure today's date will always be hard for me to one degree or another, but I am praying that I won't ever again experience what I did one year ago. That day was horrific, heart breaking, and shattered me for a while as a whole. It rocked my world, and my faith.

I am thankful for the life inside of me, and pray he continues to grow and gain strength and has a healthy and peaceful entrance into this world.

What Happens in a Home Birth?

2010-05-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

Many times I have people wonder what's so different about a Home Birth. How is it different than giving birth in the hospital? How is it better?

I have listed my 10 reasons for giving birth at home before (added below), but it doesn't walk you through what a Home Birth can really be like, step by step.

First of all, my prenatals usually last, on average, an hour long. I use the time to really get to know the family. Birth is such an intimate time in a family's life. If I am going to be a part of it, I want them to feel like they really know me, and vice-versa. We not only go over the clinical diagnostic that are done at an OB office (Blood pressure, fundal height, baby's heartbeat, check urine), but we also go over nutrition (which is vital in preventing things in pregnancy), as well as the emotional well being of mom. I want to make sure that any concerns or questions are fully addressed in each and every prenatal. As we get closer to 40 weeks, we will go over any specific birth wishes (candle light, waterbirth set up, music, etc) and make sure that all supplies have been gathered and are ready. We speak about when to call me in labor, and what the family wants my roll to be. Am I catching, or is dad or a sibling? I have absolutely no problems with someone else catching. And unlike some Midwives, I do not require a "three handed catch". I trust that dad will catch baby perfectly fine without my help. ;)

There are some Midwives in the area who do not "allow" clients to birth on their own bed, or "allow" clients to birth in the water. I see this as a gross violation of personal choice in birth. I am happy to catch baby (if I am even the one catching!) in whatever place mom chooses for her birth. My desire is to see women take charge of their births, and not ask me for "permission" with what they can do with their body and baby. I am simply there as a lifeguard of sorts - to make sure that labor and birth progress safely.

At the last birth I attended, I was called in the afternoon to be given a "heads up" that mom was in labor. She and her husband were going to try to go on about the day as normal, and call me when things really picked up. I got a call back at about 10pm, with a request to come soon. I gathered my supplies and headed out. When I arrived, the birthing room (in this case, the bathroom) was such a beautiful scene. Mom was laboring in her tub. Lights off, candles lit around the tub and bathroom. Dad was playing his guitar and singing to mom. It was such a sweet setting. Mom was smiling, excited for the day to have arrived. With her permission, I checked on baby's heartrate, and asked how she was doing. (In between contractions, of course.) When I knew everything was good, I retreated downstairs, telling them to call if they needed anything. They had it all under control, and wanted the intimacy of the two of them laboring alone. I only went back up every so often to check on baby, and retreated back downstairs. I don't do any vaginal exams unless I feel there is something going off that needs this tool. And it isn't often that I feel this way. ;)

At about 2am, mom decided to try to get some rest. Contractions were slowing down and she was tired. We all fell asleep for a bit, until I was woken up at about 2:50 with sounds of her starting to push. They called me back upstairs. From the time that mom's body got serious about pushing, to the time baby was born, was a mere 6 minutes. She did BEAUTIFULLY! She caught her breath, gathered up her baby, and snuggled her. I made sure baby's color and tone were good, and then didn't touch baby again for an hour. Because baby was breathing perfectly, crying quietly, and her tone was great ... I didn't need to interfere with touching baby. This was mom and dad's time, and didn't need to be interrupted. An hour after birth, I did the full newborn exam and checked mom for tears. Not ONE! :) I made sure mom and baby were nursing without any problems, cleaned up everything from the birth, and left the new family to snuggle up together and sleep.

It may not sound like I did much. I usually don't. When a mom is healthy and has had a healthy, low risk pregnancy, the best thing to do is as little as possible during labor and birth. Interrupting the process continually can hinder the birth. Vaginal exams are unnecessary the vast majority of time, and should be avoided. Unless mom and dad need the extra support, they should be given as much time as desired to be alone. They created the baby alone, they should be given the opportunity to labor alone. Now, I have had families that have wanted me more involved. I have kept mom company, rubbed many backs, and have even slow-danced in labor with mom. I am happy to fill whatever roll the family wants me in - even if that means doing nothing at all.

This is the difference of Home Birth. There aren't unknown people (nurses) walking in and out of your room without permission. There are not beeping machines or an uncomfortable bed. There aren't any IVs, or limited spaces in which dad is allowed to go. There aren't any restrictions to how/where mom births, or how many/little people in attendance. All newborn exams are done on the bed with mom, not across the room or in a separate area. Baby never leaves mom's site (unless dad is showing baby off to family that may be in another room).

Birth should be a beautiful, intimate time for a family.

Ten Reasons (and there are many, many more than ten!) To Birth At Home:

10. You remain an autonomous woman throughout labor and birth. You're not treated as a sick person, you don't have to put on a hospital gown, and you're not told what to do.

9. Your husband/partner can take breaks as needed, and he's in his own home. He doesn't have to wander the halls to look for a vending machine or a cafeteria. He can even play video games. ( The big plus to my husband )

8. You can eat and drink as you wish. You are not restricted to ice chips, you are actually encouraged to eat healthy, protein-filled snacks and meals.

7. You don't have an IV. In a home birth, you drink as your source of hydration. There is no IV placed in your hand, and you are free from that cumbersome IV pole.

6. There are fewer complications at home. This is from multiple studies done over multiple decades. At home, fewer ( next to zero ) episiotomies are done. In the hospital, some have a nearly 80% episiotomy rate. At home, fewer babies need help breathing at birth ( 17 times LOWER risk at home ). At home, shoulder dystocia is less likely, even for those HUGE babies. ( even though the HUGE babies are not the ones at more risk for this, despite the myths ) At home, fewer moms hemorrhage. At home, fewer moms tear.

5. There is never a risk of mixing up babies. There is only one brand new baby at home ( well, 2 if twins ), and you know he's yours.

4. There is never a risk of mixing up medications. There are no medications, but even if there were there would be no possibility of getting someone else's meds, and dying.

3. There are no drugs. Now, this may seem like a bad thing to some women, but it's a good thing for EVERY baby. A baby born without drugs, is a healthier baby. You don't put baby at risk for drug-related conditions at birth, when there are no drugs to begin with. And without an epidural, you're not at risk for the myriad complications to both mom AND baby that come with one.

2. As many, or as few people can be in the room with you when you birth. From children to grandparents and anyone in between. And, anyone you wish can catch the baby. It makes birth what it should be - a family event.

1. You are giving your baby the greatest gift of all - a non-interventive, drug-free, peaceful, safe birth...and on your terms, not a surgeon's. There are no birth do-overs, so why not give your baby the best birth possible?

The Blame Game

2010-04-14T17:11:00.000-07:00

I promised myself that I would write *something* in honor of Cesarean Awareness Month, since I am not doing much of anything else for it. In a discussion just the other day with a dear friend, this topic came up. The Blame Game.

Women really and truly believe that they or their baby were the cause of the disappointing or scary outcome of their birth. When an induction ends in a cesarean, a woman is told one of three things, all placing blame on herself or her baby:

1) "Your pelvis was just too small."

2) "Your cervix failed to finish dilating."

3) "Your baby was too big."

What should these three really say?

1) "The epidural you had and us having you push on your back made it impossible for your body to birth your baby on your own."

2) "Your body wasn't ready yet, and it was PROTECTING the baby."

3) "The epidural you had and us having you push on your back made it impossible for your body to birth your baby on your own."

The blame ( okay, most of it...women still need to take responsibility for poor choices, such as choosing an induction or epidural ... research women! ) needs to stop being focused on mom's body being "broken", or baby growing to be far too gigantic for mom to birth. Let's face it. Inductions fail for a reason. And it's still an induction if you were contracting regularly, but not dilated much, so they hooked you up to pitocin! Inductions fail because the body isn't ready, and it's doing just what it's supposed to do - PROTECT that baby inside. Your body hasn't failed you, it's done its job perfectly! Unless you have rickets, or had a terrible pelvic injury prior to labor and birth, your pelvis is not going to be "too small" to deliver the size baby you grew. Period.

And baby growing too big? Not going to happen unless you have uncontrolled diabetes mellitus, or there is a congenital abnormality. We're talking a very small % of babies are born with this ... yet how many women can you think of who were either talked into an induction or cesarean on the basis of their baby being too big? I was one of those women. And my GIGANTIC 8 1/2 lb baby boy suffered for it.

It makes me so sad when I hear women say that they ended up with a cesarean because their body didn't work right, wasn't the right size, or their baby wasn't the right size. We need to put the blame where it belongs 99% of the time - with intervention. A healthy pregnancy that is allowed to progress naturally, with no interference, will have wonderful outcomes the vast majority of the time. That's just fact. The more you screw with it, the more you're screwed.

Care providers need to stop covering their asses by playing the blame game with women. Or even more concerning, they need to learn that these things aren't true. Because if they really believe that it has nothing to do with inductions, AROM, epidurals or drugs .... that's even scarier than them passing blame.

What Pitocin Does to Your Baby

2010-03-21T09:24:00.000-07:00

I understand that most women don't know what pitocin does to a baby. I was one of those women, 8 years ago, when I happily had my labor augmented with pitocin to "move things along". If I knew what I know now, I never would have put my baby through that hell. It is my goal to bring about awareness of what this drug does to babies, and why we should avoid it unless it is an emergency.

Studies have found that in recent years, up to 3 out of 4 inductions weren't even medically indicated. Being a few days, or even a week past your due date is not a medical indication for induction. Being tired of being pregnant is not a medical indication for induction. Suspecting that baby is getting big, is not a medical indication for induction. Having fast or slow labors is not an indication for induction. Even ACOG themselves, along with many other national and world-wide health organizations have acknowledged that the high number of inductions and augmentations that are done is out of control.

I know the question that is on your mind - "If it's not safe, why would my doctor do it?", or for the already defensive "MY doctor wouldn't do it if it weren't safe!".

Well, doctors know it's not safe. That's why they have to monitor you and the baby much more closely when pitocin is involved. If mom has pitocin and an epidural, they will often insert *internal* monitors to have a closer look at how baby is doing. They understand that the drug can be very risky for baby, and that's why a good chunk of pitocin induced or augmented labors end up with baby in distress to one degree or another. A pit labor is HORRIBLE for baby. It puts baby through completely unnaturally strong contractions, which is why it often leads to distress. And before any mom says "My baby was fine!" - don't even comment. Just count your blessings. Most babies are NOT fine. Even if baby ends up fine in the end, most pitocin drugged babies are not fine during labor.

Pitocin is actually not recommended for pregnant women. It was never intended to be an elective labor induction drug. It is not even approved by the FDA for elective ( again, that's 3 out of 4 inductions! ) induction or augmentation! And the saddest part is, in an artificial labor, mom doesn't get the glorious dump of natural oxytocin - also known as the "love" hormone - as women do who have natural labors.

What can you do? Be patient. Understand that a due date is simply an estimation, and that normal gestation length is all the way up to 42 *completed* weeks. Be patient and understand that labor ONLY begins when baby and your body are ready. If you choose to induce before then, you are literally trying to force your baby out - forcefully. Remember that YOU hired your care provider. They cannot force you to induce if you get to 41/42 weeks. You have the right to say NO! Remember that your baby is a tiny little being that needs your protection - be gentle with him! Each baby only gets one birth. Please do the best you can to provide a safe, gentle birth for each baby. Each intervention that you allow in labor has the potential to imprint negatively on baby. Let's take care with our precious blessings!

From the FDA website:

For the fetus or neonate it can cause:

Due to induced uterine motility:
Bradycardia
Low Apgar scores at five minutes
Premature ventricular contractions and other arrhythmias
Neonatal jaundice
Permanent CNS or brain damage
Neonatal retinal hemorrhage
Fetal death
Neonatal seizures have been reported with the use of Pitocin.

From Jennifer Block's Website:

When your uterus contracts, the baby and umbilical cord essentially get a squeeze, and little oxygen passes through to the baby until the contraction is over. Labor is essentially sprint-training. Spontaneous labor generally starts off slow, allowing you and the baby to get acclimated. Pitocin, on the other hand, takes you from zero to 60 all at once. Your body’s contractions start slow and build; artificial contractions can hit like a gale force wind. And if staff are not careful, they can be too strong and last too long — the technical term is hyperstimulation — causing the baby to be deprived of oxygen. Most babies turn out fine, but some don’t. Consider this: in nearly half of malpractice suits involving damage to the baby, synthetic oxytocin is cited as the culprit.

A video clip from Ricki Lake's The Business Of Being Born:

Jewelry Contest

2010-03-02T16:41:00.001-08:00

Hey all!

You can easily enter a contest to win customized jewelry through Christina Guenther Artisan Jewelry and Handstamped Jewelry. She has some beautiful pieces!

Here is the info and link! Good luck!

♥♥♥ WIN A CUSTOM HAND STAMPED NECKLACE - To enter you need to post a link to this fan page on your Facebook page or blog or you can click on like and share. After you have done it, you have to post the link to the page here in comments so that I can put you in the drawing. Or if you get a friend to become a fan, you can enter their name in the comments.... Every link or friend will be an additional entry into the drawing. The drawing is March 5th! And the winner gets to choose any necklace design up to $45 in value. Many designs to choose from.

Contest

The damaging mental affects of a Miscarriage

2010-01-23T16:56:00.000-08:00

My miscarriage was seven months ago. I would have been 37 weeks right now. I would have been preparing for a baby, for a birth, and for all that comes with it. Instead, I feel like a lunatic. I had 3-4 months of near crippling depression that would leave me sitting on the couch staring off into space. Once out of this, I convinced myself that I didn't want another baby. I liked sleeping through the night, not having diapers to change, being able to leave the house at a moment's notice, not having to have a baby attached at the breast 24/7. I don't know whether or not this was 100% of how I actually felt, or if it was a coping mechanism.

This week I was 4 days late for my period. I wasn't just late though - I had many of the classic signs of pregnancy. Nausea, gagging, sore breasts, fatigue, headaches. I really began to think that I was pregnant, even though I kept telling myself that it was dangerous to go there. I tried to stay away from that. I couldn't. I didn't want another baby - remember? I feel so damn dramatic for reacting the way that I am. Since starting my period this afternoon ( just as I'd decided to buy a pregnancy test, certain it was going to be a big fat + ) I have been back in that awful blackness. And I hate being here. I am angry, I am a bit depressed, and I just hate how things are.

I love my husband, but he doesn't get what I've gone through. Not just with the miscarriage, but with having PCOS and what it does to my body. He doesn't outright say it anymore, but the looks he gives me seem that he thinks I overexaggerate. The pain, the frustration of ceaseless acne covering my face, the extra hair growth, and did I mention the pain? I have pain before, and during my period. I have massive pain during ovulation. So twice a month, for several days at a time, I am in pain. This often comes with headaches as well. I hate my body. I feel broken and defective and deflated. And if my husband didn't understand as I was only weeks out of the miscarriage, how much less will he understand now that it's been 7 months?

I know that I am not the only one that has felt like this after a miscarriage, because I have friends who have gone through the same. The sad part is, this is rarely spoken about, or highlighted in miscarriage articles, or understood by the everyday person. We're told that we shouldn't dwell on it ( I don't come to this dark place willingly, let me tell you ), we should stop being dramatic, and we'll be fine.

As I'm coming up to the due date, it's hitting me hard again. I should be preparing to welcome my newborn baby into the world, not feeling defective and disgusting.

Does the end really justify the means?

2009-12-15T10:03:00.000-08:00

This has come up quite a bit lately. I always seem to come across someone who touts the old line of "I was/did/had _____ and turned out just fine. My child will too." You can fill this in with "I was formula fed, and turned out just fine.", or "I was delivered by cesarean, and turned out just fine.", or any of the other things that are PROVEN to be less healthy for babies. Why do people justify less healthy choices with completely anecdotal ( and often incorrect ) evidence? Unfortunately, it's much easier to continue with this mindset, than to admit that you could have done better for your child(ren), or yourself.

Science has shown us that breastfeeding is MUCH better for babies. In fact, being mammals, it is the *only* perfect food for our children up to the age of 1. It literally has every single thing that a baby needs to develop a healthy immune system, healthy brain and neurological function, healthy eyesight and coordination, and it reduces the risk of breast cancer for moms. Breastfeeding also deepens the bond between baby and mom, as it allows baby consistent one-on-one time with mom, next to her heart, smelling her skin, feeling her breathe. We are the only mammals who can choose to give our babies formula, filled with preservatives, and second-rate nutrition. And yet we're considered to be the most intelligent. ;) Now, as frustrating as it is to have to give a disclaimer, for those who choose not to read between the lines here ... I am not speaking of the women who are physically UNABLE to breastfeed. Though extremely rare, there are women who are unable to produce milk. However, those are the extreme minority. We have many, many women who simply CHOOSE to give their babies formula, instead of what is best for them. We live in a very selfish society, where it's perfectly permissible to put yourself ahead in priority over what is best for our children. We see this in pregnancy ( I can eat WHATEVER I want ), labor ( I'm tired of being pregnant, just induce me! ), birth ( I'm not trying to be a hero! Give me DRUGS! ), and then feeding ( I don't want to have saggy boobs / be the only one who can feed him / have to deal with breastfeeding in public ).

Why aren't women being held accountable for their second-rate choices? Because it's not PC to do so. Because women have every right to *kill* their baby in utero, who are we to tell them that they should eat healthy, have a natural birth, and breastfeed? In the meantime, it's our children who are getting the short end of the stick.

I wonder if women understand what they put their baby through, when they choose an induction, or allow augmentation? Do they understand what the drug does to their system? Do they understand what the artificial strength of pitocin contractions do to their little body? Do women understand that the drugs in the epidural cocktail *do* indeed cross the placenta? Do they care? Even if baby ends up "just fine", does it negate what women put them through in the name of convenience or choice?

With my first two, the only thing I had right was the breastfeeding. And even then, I didn't try as hard as I could have with my first. She was only breastfed for 3 1/2 months. I went back to work, and didn't have a clue how to keep up my milk supply to pump enough for her. I had a completely intervention-filled birth with her. Pitocin, AROM, Stadol, episiotomy ( which I paid dearly for ), and a vacuum extraction. My poor baby was put through hell because of my ignorant choices. My next baby was put through hell as well. An unnecessary, "elective" ( coerced ) cesarean. He wasn't ready. Because of my ignorant choice, he spent 9 days in the NICU. He was put through so many tests. He had a spinal tap at 30 minutes old, because of 2 seizures. He was given anti-seizure meds, sedation, had tubes running into several parts of his little body. He went through x-rays, ct scans, eegs, and ultrasounds of his head. There was nothing else wrong with him ... he just wasn't ready. I put him through all of that, because I didn't know any better.

Before anyone thinks that this is written in a superior tone ... I want to assure you that it isn't. It is written out of heartbreak for babies who are put through so much more than they ever should be, or for babies who are given second best. Most because their moms don't know any better. I wish that there was a way to get information out there, without being labeled anti-choice or superior. What about the babies?

My Baby's Birthday, and My HBAC Anniversary

2009-11-16T09:03:00.000-08:00

Four years ago today, I gave birth to my youngest child Megan. It was a triumph on multiple levels, as I had a cesarean with my second child, and was told that I would surely kill Megan or die myself if I "attempted" a VBAC. You see, I am prone to having larger babies ( those of you who have met my husband understand, lol ), I was closed with a single layer of suturing instead of double after the cesarean, *and* I got pregnant with her less than a year after my cesarean. I was told that all of these lined up would mean certain uterine rupture. The OBs who had agreed to "let me try", all gave me a gestation limit of 40 weeks. They all said that it would be an automatic repeat cesarean if I got to that point with no signs of labor in sight. And if she was looking to be "too big", it would be an automatic repeat cesarean. Basically, if I looked at them funny it would be an automatic repeat cesarean. It took some women from ICAN ( International Cesarean Awareness Network ) to challenge by beliefs about childbirth, for me to even look in a different direction.

Like most people, I believed that doctors know best. After all, they go to medical school for years and years, and HAVE to know all there is to know. It took me a while to learn that Obstetricians are NOT trained in natural birth. Most go through their entire residency without seeing a single truly natural birth, with the exception of the mom who walks in ready to push ... and even then everyone freaks out. Obstetricians subscribe to the belief that childbirth is a pathology, not physiology. Now, there are certainly exceptions to the rule ... just as not everyone home birth Midwife is trusting of the birth process, or best for mom and baby. But it took me from the beginning of my pregnancy, until 33 weeks, of research to come to this epiphany.

If there is one thing that I can tell women who have had a cesarean, and were told that either their body failed them ( pelvis is too small, labor was too long, cervix didn't open enough, body got too tired ), or their baby failed them ( baby too big, baby didn't come soon enough ) ... is to research their butt off. Because it is so much easier for a care provider to tell a woman that her body didn't work right, rather than to admit that baby and body just weren't ready, or that he/she ( the care provider ) unnecessarily intervened in the process, causing it to spiral into the operating room.

At 33 weeks I started calling Midwives. I was turned down by many. I was starting to lose hope of giving my daughter a better birth, because I knew it wasn't going to happen in the hospital. I was down to one last name ... and thankfully, God had us matched perfectly. Brenda is an amazing Midwife who serves women who need it the most, especially when many others would turn them away. Without her, not only would I not have given Megan a better birth, but I also wouldn't be the Midwife I am today.

I will premise my birth story by saying that four years ago, I wasn't where I am now in my beliefs about birth. There are certainly a few things that I would do differently. I do NOT advocate castor oil inductions by any means. Nor do I advocate artificial rupture of membranes. At the time, having my midwife break my water was a blessing. I was starting to pass out. But in my own practice, I have not yet found a valid reason to break the bag of waters ... leaving things to occur naturally in their own timing.

Now, without further ado, Megan's birth story. My triumphant ( and HARD! ) HBAC.

Megan Ohana Fiscer
November 16, 2005
10 lbs 10 ozs, 23" long

I had been doing the yucky prodromal labor think for what felt like forever. I had almost 6 weeks of contractions that would get so regular and start getting more intense, that I was sure it was "it" a few times. Even had my poor midwife drive out here in the middle of the night which ended up being for nothing. I had regular contractions all through the night on the 10th and called Brenda at about 4am. She came and when she checked me at 8:30 or so, I was a mere 2cm and not effaced much. Megan was also floating high still. I was crushed. Jeramy had the day off and since his grandmother had come up to help with the kids, we decided to go walking that evening to see if it would help anything. I had horrible pressure on my cervix and ended up passing some bloody show. Nothing more though.

The pressure on my cervix changed to a stabbing pain anytime I was doing anything other than sitting, so on Monday the 14th we decided to go walk around a shopping center that is a mile around. The pain was awful, but I wasn't having any contractions at all. I asked Jeramy to stay home on Tuesday because of the pain, and to help around the house. That evening I decided to call Brenda to see if we could try castor oil in the morning. ( Added note: At the point of Megan’s birth, I wasn’t at the point where I really believed that birth was best left alone … I still had a LOT to learn! ) The pain was really awful, and I was having an incredibly hard time getting around after my kids and doing much of anything. I was also a week past my due date and more than a little miserable ( I know, bad reason to try castor oil...but I felt I couldn't take it anymore ).

Right after I got the go ahead from her for the cocktail in the morning, I used the restroom and had at least 3 tissues full of mucous. I called her back to give her the heads up, as I went into labor the same night I passed mucous like that with Noah. I decided to go to Walmart to get some laundry detergent and some needed things and then came home and took a shower. I had been having very small contractions on and off all day, but not much of anything. After the shower, I began having really strong contractions all of a sudden. I went in to lay down to see if they were staying...and they only got stronger. Stronger to the point where when Jeramy checked on me I was in tears. I said it was time to call Brenda. He wanted me to make sure it was really time so she didn't come out again for nothing. I assured him it was! Jeramy filled up the tub, which I went back and forth from because I kept getting too warm. She got here at about 1 or so...and by that time I had already told Jeramy I wasn't sure I could do it. The contractions were very intense and I couldn't imagine it just getting worse. I was also afraid of how far I had progressed...not wanting to hear 3cm or so. When Brenda checked me I was happy to find myself at 5, and she could actually stretch me to 6cm. I tried getting back into the tub, but only ended up getting too hot again. I decided to go lie down in bed to try to cope with everything. I did okay for a while, until things got REALLY intense, at which point I would lose it when a contraction peaked and start shaking my head hard saying I couldn't do it. Brenda was amazing in helping me relax through some of them, reminding me to relax my entire body and even asked if she could pray over me...which I welcomed gladly. Back labor was awful, and my poor husband tried applying counter pressure when I almost felt like I jumped out of my skin...it didn't feel good at all, it only intensified things. I got up and labored on the toilet for a bit which felt good for a while, but then let out a grunt when it felt good to bear down. This alarmed Brenda, and she and Jeramy got the bed prepared. They got the shower liner under the sheet and the chux pads out on the bed. She decided to check me again to see if I was complete, but I was only at 7-8cm. The pressure was awful and I felt like I was having one big contraction and was starting to feel like I was going to pass out, instead of breaks in between. After lots of discussion, we decided to go ahead and break my water, and that helped TREMENDOUSLY. I was able to relax and sleep in between contractions somehow. By this point I had gotten REALLY vocal and was having a hard time relaxing during contractions at all. I started feeling pushy again, and when checked I was complete with just a little lip. Brenda said if I was feeling the urge to push, she could help move the lip out of the way. I began pushing and that became an exhausting experience. When I would push, burning pain would radiate through my hips. It felt amazing once I was really pushing effectively, but at the beginning of each push it hurt horribly. I was really becoming exhausted, and Brenda had me change to a side-lying position to push which seemed to be helping, but still not as effective. She suggested the toilet again, but I didn't think I could get up to it. So I rolled over and got on hands and knees and tried that way. Now I was REALLY screaming that I couldn't do it...I was too tired. Jeramy and Brenda kept reassuring me that I could, but I really needed to push. I was the only one that could get her out, and I needed to do it now. I ended up pushing more in a sitting/squatting position and even bit poor Jeramy's hand during one big push. Megan started crowning and I had never felt a burning sensation like that in my life. I was sure everything was going to split wide open. I remember the feeling of Brenda stretching me to keep me from tearing, hurting pretty badly as well. But getting her head out was the hardest. Brenda kept telling me I needed to push through the burning and get her out now, as she had been in that spot for a while and her head was kind of stuck behind my pubic bone. Megan was also going back up in between pushes because I couldn't hold it. So I pushed through the burning and felt her head come out, and then very quickly the rest of her slid right out. It was an amazing feeling.

I relaxed my entire body, still in that squatting position, onto the pillows in front of me. My hair was soaked with sweat and I was exhausted beyond belief, and also incredibly relieved that she was out. I smiled up at my husband and told him that I could feel her kicking against my thighs. They had me roll over, and Jeramy got to hand her to me, but had to be careful since the cord was short. She was beautiful. The first thing I noticed was how long her fingers were. She was so calm and alert. Jeramy was beaming and told me I did it and how proud he was of me. We waited for the cord to stop pulsating and then Brenda clamped and Jeramy cut. I spent some time admiring her, and then Jeramy took Megan out to the livingroom to meet her brother and sister and great grandma so that I could deliver the placenta. It wasn't hard at all, I just pushed and it came out easily. That also felt really good to get out. I was still burning quite a bit, but was laying back and relaxing knowing that the hard work was done.

Jeramy came back in with Megan, and I latched her on to nurse. She latched on immediately and did so very well. I asked if we could weigh her and get measurements...I was so anxious to see! When Megan was born, Brenda said she thought she was a good 8 1/2-9 lbs. Well, Jeramy was the one to weigh her, and he got wide eyed and asked Brenda if what he was seeing was correct. She looked at the scale and got the same look on her face! He then announced 10 lbs 10 ounces and I couldn't believe it. Furthermore, I couldn't believe when Brenda measured her and she was 23 inches long. I knew my belly had been huge, but never imagined she'd come near to 11 pounds. Jeramy went out and announced it to his grandma, who couldn't believe it either.

Brenda checked me for tears, and said it looked like I had one up towards my labia, and then one on my perenium and she could sew me up after I got cleaned up and showered. I tried twice to get up and shower, but while sitting on the toilet I almost passed out after the burning from peeing. So I was sent back to bed until I could get some fluids in and some toast. When I did take a quick shower and get back into bed a few hours after Megan was born, Brenda checked me to find that by me laying with legs together for so long, I was already starting to heal naturally. She had to really look for the tear she found before on my perenium, and she said there were only a few slits up towards my labia from the skin stretching, and those would heal on their own. As for the perenium, she numbed me, which didn't take too well...and I cried through the single stitch she put in. She said one would be enough along with me keeping my legs closed for a while. I was relieved not to have to endure another stitch. She gave me my instructions and a big hug and kiss and left us to our new family.

Recovery has been amazingly fast in comparison to both my previous vaginal birth, and the cesarean. It's amazing how things work perfectly when done naturally. My system didn't have to get over any drugs being pumped into me, or soreness from an episiotomy and stitches. Compared to a lot of homebirth stories I have read, I didn't feel mine went as smoothly, and I definitely didn't cry out that I would do it again after all was said and done...but it WAS beautiful. It was beautiful that my baby was handled gently at birth, not rubbed down and tagged with plastic and handed from one unfamiliar hand to another. She was treated peacefully and gently, and for that alone I would go through the pain all over again.

"You can pull link sausages out of me if you want"

2009-11-07T12:09:00.000-08:00

I realize that the title of this post is probably a bit confusing. To top it off, it's not even Midwifery related. One of my favorite shows of all time is The Gilmore Girls. I love the banter, the upbeat attitude of Lorelai and Rory, the type of mother-daughter relationship that they have, and you can't beat the sarcasm. It's just awesome.

Well today I was watching an episode during the kids' nap, and Lorelai ( the mom )had tried convincing her boyfriend Luke to do a Halloween skit with her, where she would pull link sausages out of his belly, to put on a scary show. He had refused, she bugged, he refused, etc ... Well, she had had a falling out with her daughter ( which for those of you who don't know the show, it's huge since they are best friends ) and hadn't spoken in months, but was invited to her 21st birthday party. It was a rough time for Lorelai, because it reminded her of all that she has lost during this time apart. She was very quiet and down on the way home, and her boyfriend simply said "You can pull link sausages out of me if you want." She smiled.

Through the miscarriage, through a really rough time for me since moving 400 miles away from "home", through losing a friendship that was dear to me... poor Jeramy hasn't known what to do with me. For quite a while after the miscarriage I was in a pretty deep depression. Then I was fine, then the depression came back. From time to time, the "funk" as I call it, sneaks up and gets me. This happened the other night, after finding out that another friend is pregnant. You see, it really doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I am more than happy having 3 mostly self-sufficient children, no diapers, a full night's sleep every night, and being able to leave the house at a second's notice. I had also decided that I don't want anymore babies, and have been looking into my options there. And I am more excited for my friend than I can put into words. But it still cuts a bit. I can't help but feeling defective. It seems that everyone around me can get pregnant, and sustain a pregnancy right now. Except me. And I'm fully aware of how melodramatic that sounds, but with as many problems as I have had with my cycles, hormones, PCOS ... it's not hard to feel broken. The miscarriage and pregnancies all around me only add to it.

Back to the point. Jeramy is very sweet with just holding on to me if I need a hug, and respects when I say that I don't want to talk about *why* I'm crying, because I'm not even 100% sure. Well, last night he came home from work bearing coke and a chocolate bar, just for me. You see, this was his "You can pull link sausages out of me if you want." This was his way of doing something for me, because he wanted to help but can't directly help with what is going on in my heart. My husband and I have our rough times. We have our times where we want to kill each other, or walk away. But most of the time, I adore my husband. He has been my earthly rock in all that's gone on in the past few months.

I am learning to not take these seemingly little things for granted, because "You can pull link sausages out of me if you want." is huge. As are gifts of your favorite ( even if not so healthy ) treats. It's a man's way of trying to make you feel better when he can't fix the situation.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

2009-10-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

If you have followed my blog for a while, you know that I miscarried back in June. I've had a really rough couple of months. I had to come to the realization that it's okay to be devastated, even if you were "only" 7 weeks pregnant. Especially if you began planning for your baby as soon as you saw the 2nd line on the test, as I did. It's been 3 1/2 months, and I have yet to pull out the serger that I bought to make cloth diapers and slings on. It's been the one thing that I've been able to control facing, and I just haven't faced it yet.

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. At 7pm ( all time zones ), around the world, women will be lighting candles in remembrance of their lost little ones. From the 6 week miscarried baby, to the full term stillborn baby, to the infant who died of SIDS. For more information go to: www.October15th.com

I almost didn't share this, because it will probably seem like a very silly thing to do since I was "only" 7 weeks pregnant. But I really wanted to name the baby that we lost. My husband and I, both separately, really have a strong feeling that the baby was a boy. I asked him last week to start thinking of names, and help me with this. Tonight we talked about it, and found a name for our baby.

Nehemiah Cian.

Nehemiah is a biblical name and means "Comforter". Cian is an Irish name and means "Enduring". I really wanted a name that meant something in relation to the loss, and how it has changed me. I have been trying to find comfort in the fact that everything happens for a reason. I don't understand it at this point, and in fact, I am still pretty angry with God. My anger though *has* toned down quite a bit, and I am able to be thankful that the loss was earlier in the pregnancy, rather than later. But, I'm still very emotional ( I can seriously cry at anything anymore! ), and still struggling with my feelings about everything.

Thankfully, I have been told that my ongoing ( even now, after this time ) emotions are normal. I just wish they had a manual for these things. I am trying desperately to focus on the things in my life that I can be joyful for, and thankful for. Some days are easier than others, for sure.

Not that thinking about my baby takes any effort, but tomorrow I will be remembering him, as I remember the precious little ones lost by my friends, and fellow women around the world. Take a moment to remember yours as well ... or if you have been blessed to have never lost one, take some time to remember your friends/family who have.

In memory of:

Nehemiah
Faith
Noah
Fiona

And all of the other unnamed little ones that my friends have lost.

A Moment of Realization

2009-09-21T08:56:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I saw a post about Female Circumcision in America, going back to as late as 1960. I was shocked. This isn't ( or wasn't ) my topic of passion, so I never learned much about it. I learned enough about male circumcision so that I have decided that if we ever have another boy, that I will not have him circ'd. But I never really cared enough to dig deeper.

So I was reading, shocked, about female circumcision here in America, and I was appalled that it happened here and not just in Muslim or African regions. One quote absolutely blew me away and enraged me at the same time. This is from a medical journal in 1959:

"If the husband is unusually akward or difficult to educate, one should
at times make the clitoris easier to find [by amputating the clitoral hood]."
-Female Circumcision : Indications and a New Technique, 1959

That's right Ladies! You'd better hope and pray that your husband can figure out how to find your clitoris, otherwise you might just have the clitoral hood removed for his ease of discovery. I was absolutely DISGUSTED by this!

I watched a pro-female circumcision video on YouTube, posted by a Muslim woman who tried to show the "joy" in GIRLS being circumcised. I was even more disgusted that this was touted as a joyful thing, instead of something barbaric being done against young girls, to strip them of any sexual pleasure they might enjoy as a woman. I was horrified.

And then it hit me. We do this to our boys. It's still socially and culturally acceptable to remove newborn boys' foreskins. And under what justification? So that he'll look like everyone else? When should parents EVER want their children to conform to what society deems "fashionable" ( which is essentially what this is )? So that he'll reduce the risk of infection and disease? ( which is actually a HIGHLY erroneous belief ) Studies have proven that with good hygiene, the risk of infection and disease is just the same as a circumcised man. So there goes that argument.

Even worse, justified just as the Muslims do for women - as a religious belief? For those Christians out there who ignorantly claim Biblical reasons for circumcision - I expect the women to have long hair and have it covered at all times. I expect them to remove themselves from the company of their husbands for the duration of their menstruation. I expect the men to offer livestock as sacrifice to God. Sounds wonky, right? Well, that's because we're no longer held to the laws of the Old Testament. Circumcision used to be used to show salvation. To be set apart from the Gentiles. That's no longer needed. The bible states in 1 Corinthians 7:18-19:

18 Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters.

God calls for the circumcision of the heart, NOT of the flesh. It is absolutely ridiculous to uphold the ONE biblical law of the Old Testament that causes genital mutilation to our sons. And let's face it - it is RARE anymore for someone to circumcise their sons because of true religious conviction, for salvation.

Let us please stop mutilating our sons' genitals, and keep them intact. Isn't it much better to teach them to be clean ( both in hygiene and sex? ), and to have a circumcised heart? There *are* risks and side effects to circumcision. And people who don't think that their baby was bothered by it, don't want to face up to what they actually just did to their helpless newborn.

It's a horrific act done in modern times, when we ought to know, and be doing, better.

Just beautiful! Woman sings at 10cm in labor...

2009-09-14T09:24:00.001-07:00

I thought I would share this, even though it is a hospital birth. This woman has a beautiful voice, and had her nurse/doctor in tears. The video had ME in tears.

"I'm ALL about the drugs!"

2009-09-07T20:21:00.001-07:00

Nothing causes me to have to pull together every single ounce of self-control, like this phrase when it comes to childbirth:

"I'm ALL about the drugs!"

I had a booth at a local fair here this past weekend. It was for my Midwifery services, and some slings and nursing covers ( which I'm not entirely for, lol ) that I've made. Several women walked by, and when they saw that it was for home birth, laughed and said "I think it's great. But I'm personally ALL about the drugs. ALL about the drugs!" I had to choke back the comments that wanted to pour out of my mouth. Such as, "Yeah, I used to be selfish too." and "Oh. Your poor baby isn't though, do you care about that?"

I really have a very hard time restraining myself from these things. And it seems so harsh, but this is really something I am passionate about, after knowing first hand what drugs and intervention can do. And half of me gets it - I was like that too. When I didn't know any better. But I can't avoid thinking of Noah lying sedated in a NICU bed, because of my poor choices, when I hear these women say this. Maybe they truly don't know what drugs do to babies. Mostly, as I've done some informal polls in many mommy-sites, just don't care. Their comfort is more important than the risks to baby. This is a TRAVESTY! When you know better, and you still put your baby at risk ... you can no longer claim ignorance.

My heart breaks for these women who don't know better, and for the babies that have no choice. And it KILLS me to hear women say "I just don't like pain". Life is painful. You get injured, you get sick, you go through pain in working out or training for a marathon. But you can't go through childbirth without numbing yourself from the chest down?

I just really wish more women knew that they are capable of going through childbirth without drugging themselves and their babies. I wish they knew of how empowering natural childbirth is, and how very rewarding it is to get that HUGE release of endorphins after birth when no drugs are involved. Really, they are robbing themselves of a life-changing experience, and putting their baby at risk at the same time.

A new perspective

2009-08-29T17:13:00.001-07:00

A lot has happened with me since the last blog post. My anger is gone, and I am no longer depressed. I have been able to be thankful for some things, the first of which I was able to be thankful for God not allowing me to lose my baby at a later gestation. I was devastated at 7 weeks pregnant, I cannot imagine how things would have been for me had I lost him/her later on.

Yesterday, I was ready to jump for joy. I have been dealing with irregular cycles, pain, and symptoms of PCOS for the past three years. In that time, my normal cycle length has been no shorter than 34 days, and as long as 42. It would always vary, driving me insane. Well, after the miscarriage I decided to begin formally charting my cycles, and started taking an herbal supplement to help regulate female hormones. I am so happy to report that my cycle for August was 27 days long. My most "normal" one in about 6 years. ( I was pregnant and breastfeeding in between - it's been nearly 3 years since I have not nursed anyone ) PRAISE GOD!!! This is a HUGE thing for me. HUGE.

So now I am praying that my system has reset after the miscarriage, and that my hormones will completely regulate. I am thankful for this seemingly small thing. Most women wish their periods away ... I get desperate for a regular cycle. Our bodies are meant to have cycles. They are meant to run on schedule, to work as God designed. After these past 3 years, I will never again understand a woman taking birth control to only have 4 periods a year. It's just not what our body is meant to do.

Now, off topic:

I am starting a "side" blog for my Midwifery here in Utah as well ... joyfulbirthservices.blogspot.com. Just a blog to link to my website ( www.joyfulbirthservices.com ) and use for non-ranting, birthy news. :)

I am also excited in that I have a booth reserved for Hurricane's Peach Days, next weekend. I will have out some of my handmade baby slings, home birth information, and lots of freebies and samples. If you're in the area, come on out!

Personal Ramblings

2009-08-02T10:32:00.000-07:00

So this has nothing to do with Midwifery, but my own personal emotional struggles right now. I'm writing this to get some things out of my head. Despite this being an open blog, I'm not writing this to gain sympathy from readers, or reassuring comments. I just need to write it out, and know that somewhere someone is reading it.

I'm really struggling with my relationship with God right now. I'm still angry. Until last night, I haven't even been able to pray, or offer biblical comfort or encouragement to a dear friend who lost her mom. It felt too hypocritical. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, and that God's will is ultimate in our lives. But since losing the baby, this belief has left me angry. And it feels, to me, melodramatic to keep being emotional over a miscarriage that happened just over a month ago, but the feelings creep up on me freshly sometimes. Yesterday I started my first cycle since the miscarriage. Part of me was happy about it, as I could finally begin an herbal hormone-regulating formula that I had bought just before finding out that I was pregnant. Part of me was emotional. And part of me was in a lot of pain. I spent most of the day on the couch yesterday, in severe uterine/cervical pain, and a migraine. It felt like someone was inserting a hot poker into my cervix, and moving it around wildly. It was horrible. I couldn't move much without being in more pain. I ended up awake until about 1:30 this morning before I broke down and took some heavier pain meds. I just couldn't go to sleep.

As I laid there, I began talking to God, and asking Him why. Telling Him that I didn't understand, and that I was angry. I cried myself to sleep while trying to talk to God about all that I'm feeling.

I'm also feeling incredibly inadequate as a parent. I'm not doing well in this department, and neither is Jeramy. We end up yelling WAY more than we should, and the kids are out of control. Their behavior is horrible, and I'm at my wit's end. Noah yells and screams *constantly* ( which, I know I know. It's a reflection of J and I yelling ), a fight breaks out every 10 minutes or so, and they flat out disobey pretty much everything I tell them to do or not to do. I have parenting books here. I haven't read them. This part of my life feels hopeless, and it's a constant source of stress and frustration. The other day I could have walked out and not come back.

The noise alone from constant arguing, or just being loud, is going to cause me to have an aneurysm. I have SEVERE tinnitus that is heightened and piercing with the noise throughout the day. This is part of why I could not go to sleep last night. My ears felt like they were going to bleed.

Things between Jeramy and I are tense. He doesn't understand why I've not been feeling good - physically or emotionally - even though I have explained it to him over and over. I guess only one time should be the limit. J has a VERY hard time being compassionate with me, particularly if the house is not clean when he comes home, regardless of how I'm feeling. He came home last night pissed off because the kids had made a mess. He's moody because of my on-and-off again depression. He doesn't understand, and he thinks that I have been avoiding him, which maybe I have. It's not purposeful, but God I just want to be left alone. By the kids, by him, by the pull of having to deal with things. And I love my husband, I do. But right now I'm resenting the helpless do-everything-for-me attitude he has. If he can't find something quickly ( even if HE misplaced it ) he gets pissed until either I or the kids jump up to find it.

I'm just ready to give up. The kids don't have any respect for me. Jeramy thinks he's entitled to yell and shout and demand things of me and the kids. And I'm aware that I'm making him out to sound like a monster. Normally, he's not. We in a serious funk right now, and I don't know how, or if I even have the strength or willpower right now to claw out of it.

Neonatal Outcomes Better With VBAC

2009-07-28T21:06:00.000-07:00

This is from the June issue of *Obstetrics and Gynecology*!! All of the things WE'VE KNOWN, yet they have been against admitting. Maybe the evidence of harm in ERCS is increasing?

Women need to be educated. That's the first step. They need to stop being so darn scared of the pain of labor, and educate themselves of the dangers of things like inductions, augmentation, epidurals, labor narcotics, artificial rupture of membranes, and delivering in the hospital period.

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Neonatal Outcomes May Be Better With Vaginal Birth After Cesarean Delivery

Laurie Barclay, MD

June 3, 2009 — Neonates born after elective subsequent cesarean delivery have significantly higher rates of respiratory morbidity and neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) admission and longer length of hospital stay vs those with vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC), according to the results of a retrospective cohort study reported in the June issue of *Obstetrics & Gynecology*.

"Controversy remains on whether a trial of labor or an elective repeat cesarean delivery is preferable for a woman with a history of cesarean delivery," write Beena D. Kamath, MD, MPH, from the University of Colorado
School of Medicine in Denver, and colleagues.

Wait? What?!?!?! Didn't the study prove that outcomes were better with VBAC?

"Historically, concerns regarding the increased risk of uterine rupture and perinatal asphyxia in trial of labor after cesarean compared with planned repeat cesarean have swayed obstetricians away from recommending a trial of labor after cesarean delivery; however, the absolute risk of perinatal asphyxia remains small."

Um - the risk of Uterine Rupture is approximately 0.3-0.7%. And that's not the risk of death with UR. The actual risk of death of baby after a Uterine Rupture is a FRACTION of this less than 1% risk. And the OBs are swayed against recommending it - why?? And historically? Really? Is that why the VBAC rates were HIGHER 10 years ago, and the cesarean rate lower?

The goals of this study were to compare the outcomes of neonates born by elective subsequent cesarean delivery vs VBAC in women with 1 previous cesarean delivery and to compare the cost differences between these
procedures. The study cohort consisted of 672 women with 1 previous cesarean
delivery and a singleton pregnancy at or after 37 weeks of gestation. Participants were categorized based on their intention to have an elective subsequent cesarean delivery or a VBAC, whether successful or failed. The main endpoints of the study were NICU admission and measures of respiratory morbidity.

Compared with the VBAC group, neonates born by cesarean delivery had higher
NICU admission rates (9.3% vs 4.9%; *P* = .025).

:Nods: I lived through the absolute HELL of this.

Rates of oxygen supplementation were also higher in the subsequent cesarean group for delivery room resuscitation (41.5% vs 23.2%; *P *< .01)

:Nods Again: Noah was on CPAP the first 2 days, intubated the following 2 days, and then on a nasal cannula for the remainder of his 9 day stay.

and after NICU admission (5.8% vs 2.4%; *P* < .028).

DOUBLE the risk of NICU stay - did you catch that?!?!

The rates of delivery room resuscitation with oxygen were lowest in neonates born by VBAC and highest in neonates delivered after failed VBAC.

Yep. I can see that. "Failed" VBAC = Another Cesarean Section. Cesareans are harmful for baby. Got it.

Although the costs of elective subsequent cesarean delivery were significantly higher vs VBAC,

And women really believe that their surgeon - Ooops! I mean OB - don't get paid more for elective surgeries? They can schedule it around their personal schedule, and they're in and out in about a total of 2 hours. Hmmmm ...

the highest costs for the total birth experience were for failed VBAC, considering both delivery and NICU use.

I would LOVE to see hospital VBAC success % vs Home VBAC success %. Those of us who know, know that VBACs are more likely to be successful at home, due to a NUMBER of different factors.

"In comparison with vaginal birth after cesarean, neonates born after elective repeat cesarean delivery have significantly higher rates of respiratory morbidity and NICU-admission and longer length of hospital stay," the study authors write.

And yet, women are still told that VBAC is too dangerous. Really?!

Limitations of this study include relatively short postpartum follow-up of the mothers to determine the additional costs of postsurgical complications and insufficient data to allow estimation of costs other than those for hospital care.

Even if you don't know a whole lot about Cesareans vs. Vaginal Birth, it is a pretty logical conclusion to believe that complications are higher after surgery, correct? This study didn't account for those women who had to go back into surgery because of an infected uterus or incision. It didn't account for those who were sent home with Home Health Care Nurses, because they had to pack their incision for several weeks.

"Given the increasing rates of primary cesarean delivery and the concomitant decrease in VBACs, once a woman has had a primary cesarean delivery, we must consider the risks that this places on her subsequent deliveries and subsequent neonates," the study authors conclude.

Hmm. Okay study authors, are you suggesting that cesarean sections not be recommended for the slightest thing, as they are now? That would require OBs not intervening in normal labor as much as they do. That would mean not breaking a woman's water, not restricting women to the bed, and not recommending inductions or augmentation. Start THERE!

"Indeed, this argues for greater selectivity in performing a cesarean delivery in the first place, and certainly a greater need for counseling before a primary elective cesarean delivery.

The ways that "elective cesarean delivery" are used though, is what needs to be examined as well. My cesarean was labeled "elective" in my surgical notes. Did I ultimately consent? Sure, after having the crap scared out of me by my OB. Do they account for coercion? Abuse of perceived authority?

As investigators continue to search for ways to make cesarean delivery safer,

Wait - WHAT?!?! There *AREN'T* any ways to make cesareans safer. It's MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY! You are literally removing a baby from a woman's body - most of the time before the baby is ready to be born. And has anyone missed how rough a cesarean can be for a baby?

we may be better served by exploring other means for reducing overall cesarean delivery rates and recognizing our own preoccupation with the individual that will be our patient, whether it be mother or neonate."

Not very intelligent or witty, I know - but my only response to this is DUH!

*The study authors have disclosed no relevant financial relationships.*

*Obstet Gynecol*. 2009;113:1231-1238.

Free in Southern Utah - Midwife Open House and Business of Being Born Screening

2009-07-19T13:33:00.001-07:00

Meet the Midwife Open House and Film Screening!

Bring your girlfriends, neighbors, pregnant ( or hoping to be ) friends! Hope to see you there!

Christine Fiscer - Traditional Midwife
www.joyfulbirthservices.com
(Please excuse the kinks - still working some out )

I am a new Midwife to Utah, originally from California. I will be hosting an open house on Saturday, August 8th at 6pm. Business of Being Born showing at 7:30pm.

*Watch Ricki Lake's birth documentary - The Business of Being Born
*Free initial consultations
*Q&A about Home Birth, Waterbirth, VBAC, Twins
*Raffle for a handmade Mei Tai Baby Carrier

I am located in Hurricane, just 2 1/2 miles from I15 on State Route 9. Email JoyfulBirthServices@gmail.com, or call 435-216-5411 for additional information and directions. **Please RSVP if you plan on attending.**

In need of some emotional purging ...

2009-07-12T21:49:00.000-07:00

I lost my baby two weeks ago this past Friday. And yet? It feels like it was longer, and just yesterday at the same time.

Longer, because in a sense, I have had to stuff my emotions. My husband doesn't understand why I am "still" emotional. He doesn't understand why I have moments of utter depression, or why I can get into a funk quickly. In all fairness, I haven't given him room to simply not understand. Right after I started writing this, he came out and saw me crying, and we talked a bit.

He truly doesn't understand the emotional side of this. Yes, he's sad that we lost a baby, but he doesn't understand what I'm going through - to the depth that a woman feels when she loses a baby she very much wanted. I had to explain that I am coming to terms with how traumatic it was to lose so much blood, and to see how large the clots were that were falling from my body. It was traumatic to sift through the clots, to watch for tissue. It was more traumatic to come home from the ER to a house without my husband, and have to clean up all of the blood.

For the past two weeks, with the exception of a day here and there, I have tried desperately to act as if I am "normal" ( as normal as I can be anyway, lol ) so that I can FEEL normal again. And it's not working. I have been ignoring my husband, I have been lapsing into funks that he doesn't understand and that I don't fully know how to explain. We moved a mere 3 days after I lost the baby. I was pretty much "expected" to be back to normal so that we could get done what needed to get done. And that's not reflective of my husband. He would get thoroughly pissed off at me if I didn't sit down every few minutes, or I lifted a box heavier than I should be. But, I wasn't allowed to wallow and grieve.

I don't feel like I've had a chance to talk through this, and don't want to be the dramatic one who keeps mulling over something already done. I'm sensitive to not being "over emotional" because of how my mom is ( whole 'nother story to it ). So I feel like I have to be OKAY already, and yet I'm not. I don't have anyone in person that I can sit and talk to and cry with who really GETS this. My husband tries. He just doesn't know what to say, so it feels like a one-sided conversation. Which, it would be for the most part anyway. LOL I get that. :sigh: I'm not sure WHAT I'm trying to get across right now.

I'm terrified of not being able to get pregnant again. I'm more terrified of having another miscarriage. I honestly don't know that I could go through this again and get through it whole. I don't feel whole NOW.

And I'm angry. There, I said it. I'm angry. At God, at myself, and with other irrational things. I'm angry. I don't understand why I would be allowed to get excited and then have it yanked so brutally. And then there, right there, I feel guilty for saying it, because I have friends who have had full-term stillbirths. I cannot even FATHOM going through that. I was only 7 weeks. Yet I had already envisioned this baby. Not in the womb, but after birth. I envisioned the birth, and breastfeeding, and cloth diapering this time. For crying out loud, I bought a serger so that I could more easily make the diapers - and I haven't been able to bring myself to try it out yet. I bought it 3 days before I miscarried.

So there you have it. I'm still a mess, even though I feel like I have to pretend to be fine. The world doesn't stop because I'm sad. I get that. I'd just love to be able to crawl into a cave for a while, and be allowed to wallow and feel sorry for myself, and just grieve.

I needed to write some of these things out. Writing for me is cathartic.

Some Sad Updates

2009-07-01T16:41:00.001-07:00

As much as I loved and appreciated all of the well-wishes and congratulations from my last post, I need to update what has gone on.

Last Friday morning I woke up to blood. In a blur, I went into the bathroom and as soon as I sat down, a huge clot came out. I was horrified and instantly a wreck. I got myself to fish it out to see what it was, and it was a clot larger than my hand. I call my husband who was already in Utah at that point, and he doesn't answer. I call Laura ( best friend ) and am sobbing. I knew I was losing the baby. I finally got a hold of DH, and he felt helpless from 400 miles away. I went on to pass 3 more clots that were larger than my hand, and soaked through at least 3 pads. It was at this point that I began getting tired, and decided to head to the ER after talking to Laura again. Gramma came and picked up the kids, and I headed to the hospital alone. Thankfully, my very good friend Janna was able to meet me there. I wasn't alone.

They did blood work, started an IV, did a sterile speculum exam to see if cervix was closed or open ( it was closed ), and then finally an ultrasound. Funny, odd, and scary things happened while I was there, just to keep me on my toes. First, I had a male nurse named Hans - no joke. Blond, accent, Hans. I couldn't make this up if I tried. Why he felt the need to tell me that his wife was going to have their first baby on July 1st, while I was there for losing my baby, I'll never know. :-/ Other than that, he was very nice. Second ( and this is the scary part ), I had a female nurse come in to be in the room for the sterile speculum exam. She had the personality of an ice cube. She walked in and asked me if I am pregnant. I wait a beat, and dryly say "I was". Would it be too much to ask to read the chart before asking a question like that? :sigh: Then, she puts on gloves, looks for an outlet for the light for the end of the speculum, moves my bed around, moves the tray around, touches the wall .... and then takes off the sterile package from the speculum ... AND THEN TOUCHES THE END OF THE SPECULUM!!! I did mention that she basically touched everything else in the room first, didn't I? When the doctor came in ( a VERY nice man - I was at least blessed with a mostly wonderful staff ), I apologized for being a pain, and then went on to explain what the nurse did, and asked for a new speculum. She looked a bit irritated, but he was wide-eyed and totally understood. "Good" news was that my cervix was closed, and there wasn't any "product" hanging out of it.

I went in for the ultrasound, and after a few seconds I knew the answer. She couldn't find anything. She did a transvaginal one as well, because she wanted to clearly see my ovaries and tubes, to make sure there wasn't anything eptopic. There wasn't. My lab results came back, and my hcg count was over 5700 still ( about normal for 7 weeks ). He recommended that I get labs done again within the next week to make sure that the levels are going down. I got my rhogam shot, and was discharged after being a patient in the ER for about 6 hours. I went home devastated.

I honestly don't think I've ever grieved anything as deeply. I may only have been 7 weeks along, but I was so excited. I was already looking ahead to the birth, to breastfeeding, to cloth diapering and baby wearing. I was heartbroken, plain and simple. And Jeramy was 400 miles away. I've gone back and forth between being fine, and being a complete mess. We moved to Utah on Monday, just 3 days after the miscarriage. I'm still not feeling 100% back to normal, physically or emotionally. The hard part is, I'm kind of surrounded by pregnant women here. LOL Laura had just found out she was pregnant a few days after I did. I am SO excited for her, but it will definitely be hard to see her go through the stages that I would have been at. Through all of this though, DH and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we want another baby. I am going to work on getting healthier, while we TTC for the first time ever. It was never a problem before, it was always PREVENTING actively because I was so fertile. I am just praying, through fear, that I don't have something wrong that makes it impossible for me to carry a baby to term now.

As for moving, we got here at about 11:30 on Monday night, utterly exhausted. We decided to leave the unloading for the morning. Thankfully, we got it done pretty quickly and I am now in the process of unpacking and making this house a home. I broke down today, because the kids are beyond horrible. Change, inconsistent discipline, and a mom who's not 100% "there" are factors I'm certain. But it doesn't make it easier.

It's been a hard week. I'm coping the best I can, and praying that life gets back to "normal" soon.

So much news to share

2009-06-19T15:12:00.001-07:00

The past few weeks has been a whirlwind of excitement, anticipation, shock, and hard work. In the end of May, we went out to Southern Utah because my hubby had 2 job interviews. I have friends there, and had visited and loved it. Compared to here, everything is amazing. Lower cost of living, cleaner environment, very family oriented. It all lined up so perfectly, we have no doubt that it's God. The very next day after interviewing, DH found out that he was being offered one of the jobs. We then went looking at a few houses, apartments, and townhomes...and fell in *love* with a house. I was sure we wouldn't qualify, as our credit is so bad from our years of working for companies who have gone bankrupt, and poor financial management as very young married people. Well, within three hours of turning in the rental application, we got a call and found out that we were approved! I couldn't believe it. Seriously, everything lined up so beautifully.

What's also an answer to my personal prayers - Utah is an *amazing* state for midwifery. Licensure is optional, and I won't have to be "underground" in order to serve the women who need it most. Imagine this - I can actually put my name out there! I'm beyond thrilled about this. It has been such a hard road this past year, and even though I really felt like God was calling me to serve women here the way that I have, it will be very nice to be able to be open and "out there". :) I'm a bit anxious about how it will all pan out. I will be new to the area, and my very good ( best ) friend is a midwife in the area as well, and she's an awesome midwife. She has a great client base already, and has new consultations all the time. I'm just praying that eventually I will build a good reputation there.

I will also be a bit limited in about 9 months or so, as the other big part of my news is that I just found out that we are expecting baby #4. It was not planned, but not prevented either. I have pretty much been "infertile" for 3 1/2 years now. We have not used birth control, nor have we really been careful. This will be my largest gap in between babies - my youngest will be over 4 when this one is born. I am excited about being able to enjoy one baby this time. My 2nd child was only 20 months old when I had my youngest. That was a hard time period for me. I am also excited, as I plan to cloth diaper this time, and babywear from day 1. I learned about it a bit late with my youngest.

I have odd fears coming up already, and Lord knows it's far too early for it. I had a successful HBAC with my youngest. I was told that I would surely kill her, or rupture since I had only had a single layer of suturing during my c-section, and I have "large" babies. I switched to home birth plans at 33 weeks. I was terrified, but knew that I couldn't withstand another c-section, particularly if I didn't even try. And, I did it! I was 41 weeks 4 days, she was posterior and 10.10lbs 23" long. I DID IT! I was so ecstatic that I had done it, and that everything had gone well.

So I have these fears creeping up now. There was a woman not so long ago who is a big home birth and UC advocate, and is very outspoken ( in a good way! ) on her blog. She was planning an unassisted birth with this last baby, and her baby ended up being born still. While I and many others mourned for her loss, people ripped her to shreds, saying that she got what she deserved for being so outspoken. They said that her baby doesn't believe in UC. It was horrifying to read how cruel and heartless people were reacting to her tragedy. So, I have to wonder...with as outspoken as I am, am I "asking" for something to go badly? Logically, I know the answer to this. I have faith that if something happens to this baby, that there will be a reason for it. And logically, I know that birth works. I know that VBACs are safe. And I know that my risks have actually decreased since having my successful VBAC. I guess it doesn't stop some of the fears though.

None of these ramblings will change my plans for this birth. It will just be a journey of working through a different set of emotions this time around. Thankfully though, I will not be subjecting myself to Obstetricians or any scare tactics. ;)

Our family is about to change in many, many ways. New state, new friends, new environment along with a new family member sometime in Feb/March. This should be a fantastic adventure!

I love my husband

2009-05-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

My husband has not always been supportive of home birth or midwifery. I remember when I was trying to bring up the subject while pregnant with Megan, and coming home from OB appointments in tears because they were trying to talk (scare, coerce) me into another cesarean. He thought I had really gone off the deep end. First by not just submitting to a cesarean as the almighty doctors were pushing me to, and then by suggesting that we do as the flower children did, and birth our baby at home. There was anger, frustration, and outright fear involved.

Even after he decided to trust me, he didn't understand. He didn't understand why I would hire a midwife, instead of having a "fully trained" doctor in the hospital. He didn't understand why I would risk my life and the life of our daughter, when I could conveniently schedule a cesarean on a pre-appointed date. He just didn't understand. After Megan was born, he began to get it, bit by bit. He was extremely proud of me for holding up and withstanding my very long and hard posterior labor. He was proud that he had a more active role than with either of our other two deliveries. He was glad that there was no NICU time with this baby. And, he got to weigh his own daughter. The look on his face of pride when he announced "Ten pounds ten ounces" was priceless.

But even over the years, he has seemed to kind of just tolerate what I did, and what I do now for women. Not really grasping it fully. He was extremely supportive while I spent a good deal of money and time on a midwifery trip to Davao. He has been extremely supportive of me taking trips to midwifery conferences and workshops. But still had never really gotten "it". Until this past weekend.

Last weekend I went to a seminar about midwifery volunteerism in developing countries ( put on by Mercy In Action ). I was away from home for a total of 6 days. The total cost for the trip was a bit heavier than we would have liked. I got a phone call from my husband on Monday, as we were back in St. George, preparing to drive to Vegas, that had me crying.

He said that the night before he was unable to sleep and happened to flip past a channel that was showing The Business of Being Born. Now, I had tried to get him to watch this with me several times over the past year or so, and he always declined. He said that he decided to watch it on his own, as long as it stayed interested. He ended up watching the movie in its entirety. He went on to APOLOGIZE to me for not being more actively supportive of me during my pregnancy and birth with Megan. He said that he saw how the other husbands were in the movie, and it made him feel guilt over not providing me with the same. He also, for the first time, really saw what midwives do, and why they do it. He acquired a whole new level of respect for what I do, and why I do it.

My husband is awesome. Not because he apologized. Not because he told me about any of this...but because he DID it. He did it on his own, without my prompting, insistence, or push. He decided on his own to dive into something that was my passion, and learned a lot on the way. My husband is awesome because he gets why my passion and calling are so important. He is my biggest supporter.

Noah's Ark - A Midwive's Tale Found on the Internet

2009-05-05T09:19:00.000-07:00

This is from Birth From a Cesarean Awareness Perspective. Brilliant!

God told Noah..you will need midwives on the Ark. There are a lot of babies to be born, both animal and human. They need a loving touch.

So...Noah brought two midwives.
The first was a CNM and the second was a CPM.
The midwives said that anyone who had had more than one baby could not be on the Ark. It was not in their protocol. The wolves got off, because they had litters. The Cows who had had twins got off, because their calves had come together.
The midwives said that anyone who had large babies had to get off the Ark, because it was out of their protocols. All of the hippos got off. Their babies were always large.
The midwives said that anyone who had small babies had to get off the Ark, because it was out of their protocols.
All of the mice got off. Their babies were always small.
The midwives said that anyone who did not go to 40 weeks gestation had to get off the Ark, because it was out of their protocols. All of the guinea pigs got off the ark. They would never make it to 40 weeks.
The midwives said that anyone who went over 42 weeks gestation had to get off the Ark, because it was out of the their protocols. So all the elephants got off. Their babies never came at 40 weeks.
The midwives said that anyone who's babies came breech had to get off the Ark, because it was out of their protocols. All of the horses got off because their babies often come out feet first.
The midwives said that anyone who had a cesarean had to get off the Ark, because it was well-known that many midwives can't or won't attend a VBAC. So all the bulldogs got off the Ark.

At the end, all the CNM and the CPM had was each other, sitting on the Ark, with Noah's wife who was done having children, condemning the younger generation for their lack of activism and using low risk care with midwives...

...and meanwhile, across the Earth...those animals bred and birthed and flourished...because life finds a way to happen despite protocol.
-Author's name withheld.

Due Date : It ain't nothin' but a number!

2009-04-28T12:22:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing that I would choose to educate women on nation-wide, just one topic that I could choose to cover for all women to hear, it would be the due date fallacies. So many unnecessary inductions are because of due date fears, misconceptions, and downright false information. So many unnecessary cesareans are due to "failed" ( see Failed Induction Means That Your Body Works! ) inductions. Not because there was something wrong with the woman's body, as MOST are told, but because her body and her baby simply were NOT ready.

There are so many false beliefs about due dates. One is that it is the magical number around which the baby is supposed to be born. I recently did an informal poll on CafeMom and so far ( I will post final results when they are in ), the VAST MAJORITY of women who have responded, have said that it's not normal to go past 40/41 weeks, and that they would absolutely induce so that they didn't risk baby dying or getting too big! Our society has done a great job of ignoring actual statistics and just following what their doctor tells them, or what their friends tell them. Why research when you can just ask? A commercial for Johnson and Johnson baby wash today started out with: "Your Doctor's guidance, your Mother's advice, your own intuition...." What does that tell us? Where do our securities lie when it comes to our children? According to most people in our society, doctors first.

And yet, the medical community and having a medical mindset in birth is what has gotten us into our 31.8% cesarean rate. Trusting your doctor first, instead of doing individualized research ( did your mom have a history of postdates? Did your grandma? Aunt? What might be normal for YOU and YOUR baby? ) is what is leading women to be cut open by the millions. And the worst part is - instead of it being viewed as a horror that needs to stop - it's seen as normalcy.

NORMAL gestation is anywhere from 38-42 weeks, and if you want to get technical, to 42 *completed* weeks. What now seems like long ago, women were given "due months". I like this idea! Let's take the "magical" number out of things, and let women know that they have a 4 week period of time in which their baby could be born. Maybe then we'd have less inductions. Maybe then we'd have less cesareans, and less women being told that there was something wrong with her body ( PELVIS too small KILLS me, "FAILURE" to progress, BABY too big...notice a theme? ). Depending on which statistics you look at, one study showed the stillbirth rate to be higher at 38 weeks than at 42 weeks. So then, should we induce at 37 weeks to avoid that higher curve at 38 weeks? Of course not! That would be just silly, right? ...

The MAIN thing with pregnant women is their due date. They get bombarded with highly personal questions starting as soon as 36 weeks. "When are you going to have your baby?" ( Did you GIVE me a crystal ball? ) "Are you dilated?" ( Are YOU dilated? What about YOUR bowel movements - have any soft ones lately? ) "When will your doctor induce you?" ( When did yours give you a lobotomy? ) "You look HUGE!" ( So do you, but it's rude for ME to say so! ) "Are you having twins?" ( Are YOU going to recover from my fiery wrath from being asked that for the one millionth time? )

Women are hardly ever reassured. Rarely is a woman told "Baby will come in perfect timing! Don't worry.", or "Your baby is just the right size! YOU made him/her after all." Women are rarely told that they DON'T need to be induced, and rarely are they NOT asked if their doctor has shoved a hand up their vagina to check the status of their cervix. People don't understand that they are continuing the common fears surrounding due dates and labor. They are doing NOTHING to help, but only cause worry, doubt, and possibly fear. "WILL I ever go into labor on my own? Maybe there IS something wrong with me?"

I recently watched Pregnant In America. I LOVED all of the wonderful information that they were providing. Studies, statistics ( the list of risks for inductions and epidurals would make your toes curl! ), alternatives. But then, just as I was ready to advertise this movie to every woman I know....the producer's wife ( who had been filmed as she planned a home birth for their first child ) decides to have her midwife strip her membranes at a mere 3 days past her due date. WHAT?!?! Didn't I JUST watch nearly 2 hours of "A woman's body does better in labor when left unhindered." "A woman's body knows just what to do on its own." "Intervention is a slippery slope." - GAH!

There seems to be this idea, even within some midwifery/home birth circles that birth is normal...unless you get to/past 40 weeks. But yet, according to medical literature ( you know, the stuff put out and IGNORED by OBs? ) we know that normal gestation is all the way until 42 completed weeks. WHY are women doing this to themselves, and why are care providers doing this to women?

If I could erase one incredibly WIDESPREAD belief - it would be that a due date is a magical number. A date to count down to, and worry when it passes. A date that will *surely* bring us baby, because isn't that what it's supposed to do?

Will we ever get back to the belief and knowledge that our bodies know just what to do without inducing, augmenting labor?

From Home Birth to Interventions?

2009-04-22T13:38:00.000-07:00

My heart drops into a big ball into my stomach when I hear of women allowing unnecessary intervention in pregnancy - but especially more so when I hear that they allow it from a home birth midwife. Women seem to want to trust birth, and want a safe and healthy birth for their baby, but then allow some of the most arbitrary and unnecessary intervention, not realizing that it can completely shape and transform the rest of their pregnancy.

What are the top two interventions I see with homebirthers?

Routine Vaginal Exams

Why is this done, especially by home birth midwives, starting as early as 36 weeks? Does it make the baby come sooner? Does the body not know what to do unless a midwife has a hand inside of her client's vagina and cervix? Do these midwives explain the risk of infection, accidental ( or purposeful, sadly ) membrane strip or artificial rupture of membranes, disappointment when mom "hasn't made any progress", false hope of a labor soon to come? If the midwife is not explaining these risks, then her clients are NOT giving informed consent. It blows me away when women allow this. It saddens me. It makes me wonder just what their midwife is telling them, or why a mom requests this.

"Natural" Induction

Ladies, there is NO such thing as a natural induction. Either you are trying to force labor to begin before it is happening naturally, or you are not. There's really no in between. Having a healthy sex life in the end of pregnancy is wonderful! But if the goal is to get it done as many times as possible in hopes of causing the cervix to ripen...you may be sorely disappointed. A ripening cervix does NOT guarantee a close labor day. It simply means that it is ripening. There is a lot more to the hormonal dance of labor preparation than a ripening cervix. Doing spicy foods may do nothing more than irritate your uterus, cause you to have diarrhea and heartburn. Pineapple needs to be *fresh* pineapple. You have no idea how many women try the out of the can stuff. LOL And even then, it does *nothing* unless your body is ready anyway....so why not wait until labor starts naturally? Nipple stimulation does indeed release oxytocin in the body, but so does some good love from your spouse. A nice massage, a cuddle and nice long kiss. This releases oxytocin as well. Why aren't more couples cuddling, instead of playing with nipples? Evening Primrose Oil *can* help to soften the cervix, but nothing more.
The problem with trying to do things to induce labor, is that it often will not work. When it doesn't work, you've wasted precious last days/weeks of your pregnancy that you could have been simply enjoying with your partner, instead of stressing out over trying to get labor to begin. Or even if not stressing, *thinking* about getting labor going. Your body knows what to do, and knows exactly the right time to do it in. I won't even go into castor oil induction, as I believe this is highly irresponsible and a waste of time unless it's a true last ditch effort. Inducing labor, no matter what label you want to put on it, is putting yourself before the safety and health of your baby...unless of course it is a TRUE medically warranted induction ( example - pre eclampsia, PIH, etc ).

Women, if you've chosen a home birth, you are in a low-risk pregnancy. If you are in a low-risk, normal pregnancy...why are you allowing intervention? It drove me crazy when I watched Pregnant In America, and saw them advocate for normalcy in pregnancy, believing in birth and trusting the body...and then the producer's wife having her midwife strip her membranes at a mere few days after 40 weeks. I was BAFFLED! How can you claim to be a NATURAL pregnancy and labor advocate, if you allow unnecessary induction techniques? There was no problem. She was simply a few days past 40 weeks. Not even to the high end of the normal gestation period, but smack dab in the middle! It was her first baby, and statistically first time moms will go about 8 days past their EDD, IF ALLOWED TO. :sigh:

In our society, we rush through so many things. We want to rush to get to the end of pregnancy, we want to rush to get into labor, we want to rush to birth the baby. We want to rush to see the baby sit up, eat solid food, crawl, talk, walk...

And when you get to the point of understanding how quickly it all goes by, it's too late to take it back.

Choose wisely, for some decisions are irreversible.

Cesarean Awareness

2009-04-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

There are people who might look at this title, and think "What is there to be aware of?". So often now people view cesareans as just another way to have a baby. Rarely are the true risks of a cesarean told to expecting couples, and those are usually the immediate risks that are mentioned ( most often in passing ), nevermind the long-term risks that a cesarean can create.

I am involved in a new organization called BirthAction. The site is still in progress, but we very much hope for it to be a hub for pregnant women to come and receive well-rounded information on everything pregnancy. Kind of like What To Expect When You're Expecting, just with accurate information. ;) We'd like it to be a place where women can come and find information about routine pregnancy screenings ( like ultrasound, afp testing, gestational diabetes testing, Rh sensitization, gbs, etc ) and make informed decisions about their prenatal care. It also offers tips on how to avoid a primary cesarean, tips on how to optimize the chance of a successful VBAC, information on home birthing, unassisted birthing, water birth...and everything in between.

In our goal to create awareness about the risks of cesarean sections, I designed the poster that I am putting on this page. Women need to think long and hard before agreeing to a cesarean for reasons that are not life threatening, and to elective ( or coerced ) repeat cesareans.

I am five years out from my one and only cesarean, and I have what will probably be life-long side effects. For the first time in my menstrual history, I have irregular periods, endometriosis, and PCOS. This did not occur until *after* my cesarean. I have had hormonal problems, weight gain, and much pain as a result. It breaks my heart when I hear of women resigning to a cesarean for a "large" baby, for a breech baby, or for twins. It breaks my heart and makes me want to throttle doctors when I hear of elective inductions, inductions for "large baby", inductions because mom hits 40/41/42 weeks. It makes my stomach drop when I hear women count down to their due dates, because they obviously are unaware that a due date is simply an estimation, NOT a guaranteed date of arrival. It makes me cringe when women call themselves "overdue" when they are a few days past 40 weeks. They do not know that they are not a bit "overdue" until after 42 weeks. Technically, according to medical literature, not even until after 43 weeks. It's 42 *completed* weeks.

So many cesareans can be avoided. If women would come back to the knowledge that their bodies are strong. That they are capable. That pregnancy is not a condition or disease or pathology. That they do not need drugs to begin, or to get through their labor. That their baby is healthier when they allow labor to begin, and to occur naturally. I wish that women would stop believing that there is something wrong with their body, or that they are not strong enough to endure labor without the blasted epidural.

Women need to wake up and realize what is being done to their babies.

Bittersweet Anniversary

2009-03-26T12:59:00.000-07:00

Some may think it completely odd that I get emotional and sentimental over the anniversary of Noah's delivery, and my cesarean. And some years are more difficult than others, for whatever reason. My husband even will tell me to knock it off, because I admit that it's a self-led walk down memory lane, remembering this day each year.

Five years ago today, at this very moment, I was in the hospital for pre-op stuff. I had been told to come in by my new OB, to have another ultrasound done to check for Noah's maturity. Apparently they were looking for the "practice breathing", and for vernix floating in the water. Knowing what I know now, I look back at myself and fully realize how naive and gullible I was. In the time that I was there, I also had an NST. It was during the NST that my OB noticed regular contractions. He checked me, and found me to be a stretchy 4cm. He announced that apparently my son was not waiting for the scheduled cesarean tomorrow, and that I would undergo surgery as soon as everything was prepped. I was so nervous.

It was supposed to be totally uneventful. A simple procedure to deliver the son that was too big to be safely birthed by me. He was supposed to be big and healthy. After the doctor announced that Noah was out, I waited for the cries. And waited. My husband explained that they were working on him on the warming table. I heard some gurgles, and then finally those cries. But they were different than what I remember Kaitlyn's being. The hardest part was, I was struggling to stay awake. The anesthesiologist gave me something in my IV to help with anxiety. Apparently some women don't care about seeing the instruments that were to be used on their body, or cry when they sit on the OR table for the first time.

They announced that he needed a bit more help, held him to me for a quick few seconds to kiss ( I have a picture of this - he was quite gray )...and then took him out. I went in and out of sleep as the OB sutured and closed me. The only thing that I remember from recovery is something that has haunted me for five years. The neonatologist that was taking care of Noah that day, came in and explained to me that he had had two seizures after delivery. They didn't know why. He wanted me to sign a consent form for them to do a spinal tap on my newborn son.

But that's not what haunted me. As drugged up as I was, I vividly remember signing it, thinking that it was no big deal. Thinking that they would handle everything, and that I would see Noah soon. I was too drugged up to be worried about my son. Most people think that this is very silly. But, in reality, the favorite passtime of a mom is to worry about her children. It's our job in life. We're supposed to make sure that they're safe, and when they're not, be worrying and praying and waiting on bated breath to hear word. I wasn't. I was too drugged. My son was laying in the NICU, with strangers rushing around him, bright lights, beeping machines, gloved hands, and his body under assault...and I was falling asleep. This has been one of the more guilt-induced memories of my cesarean. I didn't know any better when it came down to choosing a totally unnecessary c-section. I didn't know that it was unnecessary. I thought that I was doing the best I could for him. But *every* mom worries about a sick child. And I couldn't even do that.

My Noah is now mostly healthy ( he's the first one to get sick, and it lasts the longest for him...I truly believe this is residual from his problems at delivery and the 9 day NICU stay ), kind, happy, humorous, outgoing, and adventurous. Many people have said "At least he's healthy now!". Yes, I agree. I'm grateful that he is healthy now, and didn't suffer any permanent damage from my stupid choice that day five years ago. But it doesn't change what happened, and it doesn't change my feelings about it.

The situation with my c-section, and Noah ending up in the NICU, was a catalyst in my life. It caused me to research like crazy in my next pregnancy. Ultimately, it is what led me to my own home birth, and then to my path as a Midwife. I know that without Noah ending up in the NICU, I would have happily signed up for a repeat cesarean for Megan. Had everything been fine, I would have thought nothing of it. My cesarean recovery was as uneventful as a surgical recovery can be. At the point when I got pregnant with Megan, my lasting problems hadn't been as severe as they are now ( PCOS, adhesions, etc ). So this is why I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. However, sometimes it sucks to go through that life-changing events. Not all catalysts are exciting and happy.

Each time I hear of a story where a woman undergoes an unnecessary c-section, my heart aches. Because I know that unless something even slightly dramatic happens with her or baby, she's likely to choose a repeat cesarean the next time around, rather than research, learn to do things differently than the first time, and *give birth* the way her body was designed for...and give her next baby a healthier birth.

Happy Birthday Noah. While words will never be able to fully express my sorrow over my choices that led to you being so sick, I want to thank you for being my son. Thank you for the change that you have caused in my life, and in turn, being able to help other women give their babies a healthier start in life.

Love you buddy.

Natural News

2009-03-21T11:14:00.001-07:00

I got this from a friend on Facebook, and *had* to repost. Thanks Amber!

(NaturalNews)
If you talk to many people about health, medications, toxic chemicals and food, you'll quickly come to realize that most people have very little knowledge of reality in these areas. And yet, ignorance is often bliss because these people can just wolf down a cheeseburger, get vaccine shots, drink fluoridated water and take all sorts of toxic chemical medications without even a hint of concern (that is, until a few years later when all the toxic build-up starts to kill them).So as a public service to those individuals who might want to rid their minds of any knowledge of true health and live their lives as members of the ignorant masses (a la being "plugged back into the Matrix"), I've put together a mind wiping recipe that you can freely use to join the ranks of all the doctors, journalists, politicians and consumers who think there's nothing wrong with exposing yourself to an unlimited number of toxic chemicals from multiple sources.Just follow these simple directions and your mind will be wiped clean in no time:

Step 1:Stand in front of a mirror, with your hands placed calmly at your side.

Step 2:Look into the reflection and focus on your own eyes. Take three deep breaths to eliminate any tension.

Step 3:Repeat the following mantras three times each:

"America has the best health care in the world."

"The FDA is my friend."

"Synthetic chemicals are good for me."

"Pharmaceuticals are priced in a fair way that helps drug companies afford to find new cures."

"Food comes from factories, not dirt."

"Food and drug corporations are looking out for my best interests."

"Vaccines protect me from evil germs."

"Fluoride is good for me."

"If we all would just buy more products that donate money to the Susan G. Komen pink ribbon cancer research fund, a cure for cancer would be readily found. (The only reason cancer hasn't been cured yet is because not enough people go shopping.)"

"The more pharmaceuticals I take, the healthier I will get."

"The human body only needs calories, not nutrition, to survive."

"My genes are faulty and I was born deficient in patented chemicals. These chemical imbalances must be corrected through pharmaceutical intervention."

"The sun is my enemy. I must fear it at all times."

"Dead, cooked foods are nutritional equivalent to live foods."

"There is no such thing as a dangerous ingredient in personal care products. If chemicals were dangerous, the FDA would never allow them to be used."

"My purpose in life is to conform to the wishes of authority figures."

"The planet is able to absorb an unlimited amount of pollution from human activity. There is no cause for concern."

"Global warming is a hoax. Human activity has no effect on the climate."

"Man has conquered nature. We no longer need to concern ourselves with learning from or protecting nature. Whatever we need can be invented in a lab."

"The way to prosperity requires the use of genetically-modified foods and patented seed technologies controlled by caring, compassionate corporations like Monsanto."

"Pregnancy is a disease requiring immediate medical intervention. Childbirth is an unnatural and traumatic experience necessitating urgent hospital care."

"Drug ads are a good source of information about health."

"Doctors are well informed about how to stay healthy."

"Medical schools teach doctors how to care for fellow human beings."

"Medical journals print only reliable, scientifically-validated information that can be counted on to be true. It's peer-reviewed, after all."

"Any surgery suggested by a surgeon must be medically necessary; otherwise he would not have suggested it."

"The foods I choose to eat have no effect whatsoever on my health outcome. Sickness or health is determined solely by luck or genes."

Step 4:Repeat these mantra until you have convinced yourself they are absolutely true. You now qualify to be a conventional doctor or a medical journal editor.

Step 5:Now that your mind is wiped clean, turn on the television and refill the empty spaces in your brain with TV programming. Pay special attention to the commercials, which will provide valuable information that you can really trust!

Those are the five simple steps. You are now ready to rejoin mainstream society where you can eat meals with your family without any hesitation about what's actually in the food. You can now shop for cosmetics at Wal-Mart, or eat beef jerky purchased at a Quick-Mart. You can eat cheeseburgers and milkshakes. No more worries!

Plug yourself back into the Matrix, and live out the rest of your life in a comfortable state of ignorant bliss. You will find lots of support from family and friends, by the way, who will greatly enjoy watching you become just as obese and diseased as they are!

By the way, after you've wiped your mind clean, don't forget to register to vote!

10 Reasons NOT to Put Kids in Daycare

2009-03-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

Ten children at an Arkansas daycare were served windshield washer fluid by a center staffer who found the toxic liquid in a refrigerator and mistook it for a flavored drink.

Read the story here.

Very few parents anymore put any value in staying at home with children. They think it's perfectly okay to have their children raised by someone else during working hours...which is usually from 6:30/7am until roughly 6/6:30pm Monday through Friday. This means that the child is woken up, fed breakfast, kissed goodbye, and picked up in time to have dinner with mom and dad...and then off to bed again. And this is for the parents who only work 5 days a week...some work 6.

The reason most give? "We can't afford for me to stay home." Think about it though. The cost of daycare has increased dramatically, state wages are at a standstill due to the economic chaos going on right now, gas prices ( though they have decreased ) are high, etc. If you cut out the expense of daycare, the expense of driving to and from work everyday, possibly meals out everyday, work clothing ( if you happen to work in a business office ), etc...it might be more affordable than you think.

It's no secret that I am very opinionated about women staying home with their children. Babies especially ( My heart breaks for 6, and sometimes even as early as *4* week old babies being dropped off ), but children in general. They don't have their mommy throughout the day. They have a relative ( at best ), or daycare worker. While people pass this off with the standard comments of either "Oh well, I was in daycare as a child and I lived!", or "My child needs a sane mommy, and I can't be sane if I stay home." These are *copouts*. When did our job as a parent, cease to be doing what's best for the CHILD? Daycare is never best for a child. And the selfishness of the sanity comment drives me insane. You had a child, you raise said child. It's really rather simple.

It's also not a secret that I am anti-feminism for the most part. Now, where birth is concerned, that's a different story within the context I am speaking of ( for example, a husband saying no to a home birth...because *he* doesn't feel it's safe, no matter how much research she has done, or how much she *needs* to birth somewhere that is not going to abuse her ). The attitude of feminism has hurt families. Women are no longer happy making a home comfortable for her husband ( provider, very biblical ), and her family. SHE has to feel fulfilled by the corporate world, apparently. And sadly, the corporate world doesn't care about her. She's just another number. She's just another face. However, to her child...she's everything. And she's abandoning the one who sees her as his world...to feel better about herself as a human. See where I'm going?

My children are woken up by me every morning. They can hang out in pajamas if they want to. We have movie days, and learning days ( like field trips ), art days, and just fun days. We have lazy days, productive days...and they always have me here to cuddle them, kiss a boo-boo, answer important kiddie philosophical questions ( like where does God live? )...all of the things that children NEED in order to thrive. They have my absolute attention when they need it. They do not have to raise their hand, or catch a daycare worker at a quiet moment in order to get a pressing question answered, or some extra comfort. They have me.

People put too little thought into what is done to our children. I have written about the maternal-child disconnect before ( maybe I'll resurrect that post ), and it's true. It starts in pregnancy. Mom looks to the doctor for answers, instead of going inside of herself to see what's going on with her body, and doing her own research. Mom relies on doctor to tell her when she will have baby ( arbitrary cervical checks that can do more harm than good ), allows herself to be talked into an induction ( forces baby out before baby and mom's body are ready...often resulting in a cesarean section ), an epidural ( because god forbid she feel the sensations of labor and birth...cuts off any active communication between herself and baby in labor...is unable to feel the urge to push, or push effectively...often results in instrumental delivery or cesarean ), mom sending baby to nursery so she can sleep ( selfish, abandoning baby when baby should be in mom's arms, at mom's breast ), mom chooses to formula feed ( selfish again, unless she's truly in the less than 2% ) and we can't say anything because we have to be effing 'PC' about women making selfish choices, mom chooses to go to work and abandon baby in daycare/relative's house......

Do you see the trend?

I've gone off on a really long tangent. LOL My whole point in this post was to talk about 10 poor children who were given WASHER FLUID to drink. They each drank about an ounce...and they are ages *2* - 6. Yes, it was likely a horrible mistake. But would YOU have given your child washer fluid if you had been home with him/her? Probably not.

Let's face it. No one can take care of our children like we can. Like we should.

Baby Abductions - Another Reason to Birth at Home!

2009-02-28T20:50:00.001-08:00

(It was brought to my attention that I forgot the link to the news story ( Thanks Laura! ). That's what I get for trying to do a blog post while tired with a day-long headache. )

Click HERE for story on MSNBC

You'd think that babies being abducted from hi-tech hospitals with lo-jack type security bracelets, security checkpoints, and nurses everywhere isn't possible, right?

Wrong.

Just this past Friday, a baby was abducted from a hospital in Santa Barbara, just 5 hours after the baby boy was born.

Wait. Where the hell were the parents when this baby was 5 hours old? Was baby in the nursery alone? Why wasn't baby with mom, where he should have been? Why wasn't baby being held, nursed, loved?

By the time that they caught up with the abductor, she had gotten all the way to Santa Maria...roughly an hour and a half north of Santa Barbara. The baby, at just 5 hours old, was carried out of the hospital that is supposed to be a "safety net" for myriad things as far as labor, pregnancy, birth ( unless you know better, that is! LOL )...and yet, a baby was carried out of it.

This is why home birth keeps looking better and better. You don't get pressured into unnecessary intervention that will likely lead to a cesarean ( hell, how do you think we got to a 31+% cesarean rate, and that's only nationwide. Most hospitals have higher rates! ), or a baby in the NICU, or a mom who needs post delivery surgery. You aren't led to believe that you have to agree to the "mandatory" separation period of 1-4 hours so that the baby can be "monitored".

When a baby is born at home, there is no confusion over possibly mixed-up babies. There is no possibility of someone walking out with your baby, and you not knowing. There is NO separation. Babies should never be separated from mommy after birth. Unless there is a life-threatening condition, baby should never be separated. Baby should be not only *with* mom, but ON mom. Hearing her voice, her heart beat, her breathing rythm, and being warmed by her body and nourished by her breast.

And yet, people think that us home birthers are crazy. Ha! With the way that hospital births are going anymore, I'm more scared for the majority, than for us in the minority who choose to birth at home. We are at a dramatically lower risk of many of the things that go wrong in the hospital...the iatrogenic.

When a Woman's Body Fails Her

2009-02-23T08:55:00.000-08:00

Within the past month, I have heard more than a handful of stories where planned vaginal births ended up in "emergency" cesareans, and mom was given a diagnosis of either FTP or CPD. More horrifying, I keep hearing of *ELECTIVE* cesarean surgery, to avoid the pain or possible injury of a vaginal birth, because a woman is led to believe that a VBAC is just too risky, or because she "cannot" find a care provider to support her in one. I continue to be utterly baffled by the mentality in our society, surrounding cesarean sections, ie, major abdominal surgery. The risks are pasted all over the internet, warning women about choosing such a dangerous mode of delivery, and yet...we have the highest cesarean rate that we've ever had as a country. There's absolutely no excuse for a 31.1% ( and that was 2006, we don't know 2007's rates yet! ) cesarean rate. The WHO has recommended a national cesarean rate of NO MORE than 10-15%, which means that roughly 1/2-2/3 of *all* cesareans done are unnecessary!

I'll say it again. Roughly 1/2 - 2/3 of ALL cesareans done right now are unnecessary.

Does that not bother anyone? Ah, but I get the myriad stories of "My body wouldn't dilate", "My baby was too big", "My pelvis was too small", "I have already had a cesarean, and my OB ( SURGEON! ) wouldn't 'do' a VBAC".

I did a recent poll on a mommy-site, to see what reason women were given for their "emergency" c-section. 85% of them said that it was an induction ended in either FTP ( Failure to Progress ), or CPD ( CephaloPelvic Disproportion...pelvis too small, baby too big ). And they believed their diagnosis, because why would their doctor lie to them? They tried *everything*, and their baby just could not come out naturally.

Why is it that women are so ready to believe that their body failed them, rather than the SURGEON that they hired, screwed them over? Maybe not intentionally, no. I'm not saying that all Obstetricians are evil, and I'm also not saying that ONLY Obstetricians are the cause for unnecessary cesareans. Midwives can be just as bad, if not more damaging, IMO. But, let's face it. Women are hiring trained surgeons, but begging to avoid surgery. Why?

Let's go over a VERY common scenario:

First time mom, hires an OB because that's "just what's done". Plans a hospital birth. Really wants a natural birth, or as natural as she can "handle". Excitedly prints up her birth plan, that includes "No cesarean unless absolutely necessary", and has her doctor sign it, who is happy to do so, and says to patient "I ONLY do cesareans when necessary!". Patient gets to her due date. Doctor begins to check her cervix, that is yet "not doing anything". Cervix is high, thick, and closed. Doctor begins planting seeds about induction being necessary if patient is still pregnant by 41 weeks, because her body may need a jump start. And, baby might be a bit bigger since the baby has not dropped.

Mom may not necessarily want to be induced, but trusts that her doctor knows more about childbirth than she does, because she's never given birth before, and he's seen thousands of deliveries.

Does this sound familiar yet?

Patient gets to 41 weeks, cervix is still high, thick, and closed. Baby has not dropped. Doctor fails to inform patient of her Bishop's Score ( chart that can predict the likely success of an induction ), and says to head over to the hospital for an induction the next morning. Doctor also fails to tell patient that the labor hormones are more potent at night ( which is why women usually begin laboring at night ), because it's more convenient to schedule an induction during business hours.

Patient is excited, and nervous, and doesn't do any research, because she believes that she will go in, have baby, and leave hospital happy. She arrives at the hospital between 6 and 7 am, signs paperwork, is monitored, blood drawn, and cervadil is usually administered. For doctors who don't care about the risk of DEATH, cytotec might be administered instead. Patient must lie in bed for roughly an hour, and then is *allowed* to walk the halls if she wishes. But, needs to sport her IV pole and sexy hospital gown as well. Patient is checked a few hours later, and the cervadil has softened the cervix a bit, but hasn't done much dilation wise, so she is informed that the Pitocin is being ordered, and will be started shortly. With the pitocin comes constant monitoring, because of the risk of overstimulation to the uterus, though she isn't told this risk.

Sometimes, the doctor will also suggest breaking the bag of waters, to get things moving more. Patient is not told the risk of causing, or cementing, a malposition along with this procedure, nor of the risk of distress to baby by causing head to hit pelvis unnaturally. ( Meaning before it would have broken on its own ) So now, patient is in bed ( or in a chair if she's *allowed* to be out of bed ), dealing with the unnatural contractions that pitocin brings, and will shortly ask for the epidural that she didn't really want to resort to, just a few weeks ago.

She is given her epidural, and left to lie/sit in bed, while not being able to feel much from the hips down. She is likely not told of the risks ( both short and long term ) of the epidural anesthesia, to both her and baby. However, she signs a blanket consent form, without reading, and happily gets a very long needle inserted into her dural space. She is checked a few more times, and is told that she is making progress, but slowly. So, the doctor is ordering that the unit of pitocin is turned up a bit. Sometimes they will then insert an internal monitor for both contractions, and for the baby's heartrate. The one for baby is a monitor that *screws into the baby's scalp*. Patient is not told of the risk of infection to baby in doing so.

When she is checked again and found at the same dilation as the last two checks, the Obstetrician comes in and talks to her about CephaloPelvic Disproportion, or CPD. He explains to her that her pelvis is not large enough to allow the baby to drop, nevermind be born through it. He tells her how good of a job she has done in labor, and that she gave it her absolute best. He explains that if they continue, there is a risk of injury to the baby, since her pelvis is too small to allow him/her to pass through. He tells the patient and her partner, that he can do a cesarean section, and they can see their baby within 30 minutes. He has a team waiting in the OR.

Or, alternate outcome....patient is finally found to be 10cm, preparations for the birth begin. The bed is broken down, the stirrups are pulled out, and the doctor dons the facemask, surgical gown, gloves, and turns on a very bright light. Mom is told when to push, where and how to push, and for how long. The baby's descent is seen, but baby continues to go back up after mom pushes. After a few of these, the doctor explains that he is going to help mom out, by using a set of forceps, or a vacuum extractor. The "aid" is placed, and doctor pulls on baby, to try and assist in the delivery. After a few tries, the doctor tells the patient that her pelvis is not large enough to allow the baby to pass, and that is why the baby never descended, and that is why the baby was not able to be born, despite the aid of forceps or vacuum. Patient is rushed off to an "emergency" cesarean.

I'm sure anyone reading this has heard a story ( or several! ) that runs along these exact lines. Is it that there are now so MANY women who cannot deliver their own baby, or have screwed up bodies that fail them in the one thing that they were LITERALLY designed for? Or is it that Doctors and Midwives are failing women in not informing them of the risks of the things that they walk into willingly, and equally, the fault of the women for not doing research for the most important thing they will ever do?

It makes me so incredibly sad, and so incredibly angry that women would rather believe that their body is broken, rather than understand that they weren't given a fair shot, and that their choices ( in care provider, place of birth, interventions ) failed them instead. I will agree though that it is MUCH harder to take responsibility. I didn't want to believe that I could have avoided my cesarean, or that I could have avoided my son being in the NICU. That was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. To realize that my choices led to what happened to my body and my son, was heartbreaking.

I don't wish heartbreak on every woman out there who had an obviously unnecessary cesarean, but I do wish that women would become educated. I would rather heartbreak, than elective repeat cesareans. I would rather heartbreak than the belief that a woman's body just didn't work for them, and failed them in becoming a mother.

So above, what went wrong, and why?

* First time moms with a low Bishop Score, is up to 80% more likely to have a cesarean section due to the body not being ready for birth.

* Pitocin is known for causing distress in a baby, as it causes unnaturally strong contractions. If a baby wasn't ready to be born to begin with, the baby was not ready for *any* labor, nevermind unnaturally strong labor.

* Artificially Rupture Of Membranes ( AROM ) is known to sometimes cause a malposition in baby ( if baby is not low in pelvis ), or cement a bad position such as posterior, asynclitic, transverse. It can also cause distress, as the baby's head could have gone from outside the pelvis, to rammed *onto* the pelvis, with no cushion.

* Drugs or Epidural anesthesia are known for slowing or stalling labor progression. The medication also passes through the placenta, and into the baby's blood stream. This can lead to breathing depression, lethargy, problems nursing, and lower apgar scores in baby. Epidural anesthesia can also lead to a spike or drop in blood pressure for mom, fever ( which will be treated as possible infection ), headache ( that can last for weeks ), infection at the injection site ( that can lead to Staph ), nerve damage to the back, and in extreme cases...paralysis.

Epidurals also inhibit the pushing phase. Not only is mom unable to get up into varying positions to facilitate a larger pelvic opening ( lithotomy position causes the pelvis to be up to 20% smaller than in other positions for birth ), has a high risk of instrumental delivery, and perineal injury. Controversially, epidurals increase the risk for cesarean delivery because of these factors. When a woman has an epidural, she cannot efficiently feel when/where/how to push. She loses the ability to push effectively, therefore leading to the risk of higher rates of instrumental delivery.

* Vacuum delivery comes with a list of its own risks to baby. The most common is a hematoma, or a pocket of blood underneath fibrous covering of the skull bone. This can result in a "lump" the size of the vacuum cap. Also common are "superficial" markings to the scalp, or splits in the skin. Less commonly, these can be open to infection. Less common risks include neonatal jaundice, intracranial hemorrhage, and retinal hemorrhage.

But the most damaging risks, in my opinion, are the risks that come with a woman believing that she did everything she could, and that her body just didn't work right. Women anymore have so little belief in their body's ability, and don't look at the risks that come with each of the interventions that are allowed into a normal labor.

My desperate goal is to get women to make more careful choices in care provider, place of birth ( What is your doctor's cesarean rate? What is the hospital's cesarean rate? What is your doctor's track record with NATURAL - not just vaginal - births? What is your doctor's instrumental delivery rate? What's your doctor's episiotomy rate? ) Women need to make truly INFORMED decisions. Not just take the word of their care provider ( whether this be OB, Hospital Midwife, Birth Center Midwife, Home Birth Midwife ), friends, family members, and online pregnancy sites. Women need to understand the possible consequences of their decisions.

So many women believe that inductions are harmless, and therefore don't research the MANY possible risks. Many women believe that epidurals are harmless, and therefore don't research. Many women sign up for repeat cesarean sections, believing that it's safer than a VBAC ( Vaginal Birth After Cesarean ), without actually doing the research.

Women, we're smarter than this. And yet, we allow our instincts to be overridden by a care provider with a medical degree, or a mom who has had more children than we have. We allow our empowerment to be taken away by believing that the hospital is the safest place for ANY birth, and hand over our autonomy as soon as we check in.

I feel helpless so often, because it's constantly pointed out that I have no medical degree. It's true, I don't. But I have devoted the past 4 years to study pregnancy, childbirth, and ALL that goes along with it. Four years to this alone. Every aspect that comes with each. I have attended women in birth who had previously been duped into believing that their body didn't work, and watched as they labored beautifully, and then reached down to welcome their baby into their own hands. The incredible moment where they learned that their body worked just as it was designed to do. When they didn't have any separation from their baby. No nurse taking baby off to the nursery for "observation". No separation, but immediate bonding. Immediate smell, touch, love. Breastfeeding as soon as baby is ready, not when a nurse says it's okay.

I have the honor of attending women in birth, and watching as they unfold in childbirth, and regain their power.

Here is a video of women who were told that their body failed them...and went on to discover that it was their care provider, rather than their body, that failed them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Bishop Score and Risk of Cesarean Delivery after Induction of Labor in Nulliparous Women

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15802392

Risks of Epidural Anesthesia

http://www.healing-arts.org/mehl-madrona/mmepidural.htm

http://www.breastfeeding.com/helpme/epidural_anesthesia.html

http://www.transitiontoparenthood.com/ttp/foreducators/ceinfo/Side%20Effects%202.htm

Risks of Vacuum - Assisted Deliveries:

http://www.fda.gov/cdrh/fetal598.html

http://childbirth---labour-delivery.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_truth_about_vacuum_deliveries

http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/289/1/46

http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/extract/341/23/1758

Powerbirth! Start pushing at 5cm!

2009-02-20T22:22:00.000-08:00

So recently I became aware of a "Revolutionary" new birthing technique, called "Powerbirth". I watched a video of this technique, by the founder, Lydi Ronka Owen, as well as checked out her website.

While watching the video, I was horrified. Women are excitedly following this technique, under the false premise that it's what they SHOULD be doing, that it will be faster, and that there is no risk.

In the video, and on the website ( www.powerbirth.com ), Lydi states:

When a woman reaches 5-6 cm's dilation, she
feels like pushing. This is because the
fetus/baby has completed flexion of his/her
head. The occiput is now the presenting part,
the smallest diameter of the skull that has to
pass through the bony pelvis.

EVERY woman feels like bearing down at this
stage of labor, but is generally told that if she
pushes, she will hurt herself or her baby.

WRONG!!! If she pushes, she will be helping her
baby to make the 1/8 rotation from the Ischial
Spine to the Os Pubis, which will enable her
baby/fetus to pivot and enter the birth canal.

If she doesn't help her unborn to make this
rotation, she will be given an epidural to help
her with the pain she will endure because she
refused to listen to her body, and her baby's
suggestion of- "Give me a little help here, MOM,"
and, ultimately - the CESAREAN!

Lydi not only says in a blanket statement that EVERY woman feels the urge to push at 5cm, but that if she DOESN'T do this, then the mom will likely end up in a cesarean section.

This information goes against everything that we ( midwives ) know about the physiology of birth. Those of us who also don't ever tell a woman when it's okay to push ( because we're not in their body ), know for a fact that a woman feeling the complete urge to push at 5cm just doesn't happen. It's very, very rare.

What also bothers me, is that this "technique" is marketed as an EMPOWERING technique for birth, and yet...there is a midwife's hand in mom's vagina quite often. HOW is that empowering? During the video, one can literally see the midwive's hand and arm TREMBLING from the force of manual dilation. Yes, you read that right...manual dilation. Not holding back a lip because mom wanted that done instead of waiting it out...manually causing the cervix to be more open than it is naturally. And quite unnecessarily.

The most dangerous thing about this, is that women are being led to believe that this is SAFE. They are not told of the risks of cervical swelling, cervical tearing, hemorrhage, exhaustion from pushing before the body is 100% ready ( oh wait, according to the powerbirth technique, that's at 5-6cm. ), uterine and/or cervical prolapse.

Nevermind their power being taken away from them by having multiple vaginal checks, being brainwashed to begin pushing at 5-6cm ( how is this ANY different than the hospital staff saying "Okay! You're 10, you can begin pushing now...". Gee thanks for telling me what MY body is ready to do ) and being led to believe that this will lead to much faster births.

An acquaintance had a birth under this technique, and she ended up pushing for hours and hours on end, with the midwife's hand inside of her vagina the whole time, MANUALLY pushing the cervix back. I want to cry when I hear this.

Obstetricians aren't the only ones who are harming women, or putting them in very dangerous situations. Do these midwives believe that they're doing anything intentionally harming? No. But neither do most Obstetricians who believe in Cesarean Sections as whole for safety.

Just because a home birth midwife is a home birth midwife, it doesn't make her safe. Women...know who you're hiring, and thoroughly research what they're selling. There shouldn't be any "technique" for giving birth...women have been giving birth for centuries, without needing a label, a technique, or another woman's hand inside of their vagina, to do her body's job for her.

Lactation Consultants

2009-02-20T13:51:00.001-08:00

I am newly aware of how lousy many Hospital Lactation Consultants are. A friend of mine had a cesarean 2 weeks ago, and baby ended up in the NICU. He also has a breathing condition, where if he gets too excited, he can't breathe well. He is having some trouble with staying calm with breastfeeding, until the milk is letdown.

Apparently the two hospital LCs she dealt with, didn't even give her the most basic of suggestions, such as giving him say half of a bottle of breastmilk, and *then* latching him on when the edge of hunger is gone. Or, stimulating letdown with the first show of interest in nursing from baby, and then latching him on with milk already flowing. Or, using a SNS until he gets the hang of it.

I'm disappointed, and left wondering how many women are receiving less than adequate support, information, or encouragement in breastfeeding...particularly if there are any even slight issues.

How can this be remedied?

Since most women still choose to birth in the hospital, and I'm now seeing that many hospital LCs are not adequately trained, or very knowledgeable ( or perhaps just complacent? )...what are women to do if they themselves don't know where to start? Is this why a good number of women who start out with intentions of breastfeeding, quit? Not enough adequate support?

I'm going to start having La Leche League information on hand, and I may just add "Breastfeeding Help" to my business card.

Why are women left without good support so often anymore? Whether it be regarding natural childbirth, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, non-vaxxing, or non-circing. Why aren't people helping more?

Pregnant In America

2009-02-18T09:09:00.001-08:00

I had a great time this past weekend. I was finally able to get out to Southern Utah, to visit a very dear friend of mine. I was supposed to go this past October, and then had to cancel. It was a wonderful weekend, and a total adventure. ;)

While there, we sat and watched the new documentary, Pregnant In America ( I'll put the trailer at the end of this post )

Over all, it was a great film. It was a bit more in depth than The Business of Being Born, covering more topics, and even traveling to other countries to see how babies are born there. It covered the topic of Cyotec, and the unwillingness of the FDA to offer more help to stop the use of Cytotec in labor, which has caused multiple maternal and fetal deaths. It covered a small bit on breech births, and how Obstetricians are not being trained in this art anymore. It covered VBAC bans, insurance problems, and Obstetricians pushing for more cesarean sections.

Steve ( the producer and husband of the wife being followed in pregnancy ) randomly interviewed both men and women on the streets of California and New York, to see where there beliefs were in childbirth. Many of the men said, hands down, that the hospital was certainly the safest place to be, but couldn't pinpoint why. Women said that they couldn't have done labor without an epidural, even though a few admitted that the epidural was likely to have caused some of the problems that either they faced, or friends had faced. It was all very interesting, and yet I found myself saddened, and even outraged at the utter lack of education by women in childbirth. The utter lack of power that they had, by statements like "I don't have any choice". I hear this all the time, but this struck more with me in this film for some reason.

It stated, and kept reiterating, that pregnancy, labor, and childbirth are natural processes. What was said a few times was "Mother Nature knows best". I was SO happy to hear this being said over and over...hoping that any viewers would have this sink in.

To my utter frustration, anger, sadness, and confusion....the producers wife had her membranes stripped by her midwife at a mere 3 days past her due date.

Wait, what? Didn't we just spend over an hour speaking about leaving labor and birth alone? Allowing it to continue naturally? Speaking of "Guess Date" instead of "DUE Date", and saying that pregnancy was normal two weeks before AND two weeks AFTER said guess date?

They researched everything else mentioned in the film, and yet failed to speak of the risks of stripping membranes. Or did they not research that? Granted, the risks are small. But it's highly confusing seeing this, when they spoke over and over again about NATURAL labor being best, sans intervention. Did they NOT understand that stripping membranes is not only an intervention, but a form of induction?

Risks, albeit small, of membrane stripping are:

Risk of infection
Risk of weakening Amniotic Sac, leading to PROM
Risk of PROM
Risk of beginning false labor that will exhaust mom, only to stop when she's now emotionally ready to have baby
Risk of causing a longer labor, because the body wasn't in labor on it's own before this induction technique

And sadly, her labor was pretty long, and she sounded to be in more pain than what is typical for most home births that I see.

What angered me about this, was wondering if they understood / understand what message this may send to women. "Pregnancy and labor is natural, and should be left alone....unless you get past your due date.", despite the admittance that pregnancy is normal two weeks before AND two weeks AFTER a given "Guess Date". She was 3 *days* past, and allowed intervention.

Is this "Homebirth Lite", or "Mainstream Homebirth"?

It was said at the end of the film that she is pregnant again, and that they will be using the same midwife. I only hope that this time they will follow their own words of wisdom, and let this baby come when he/she is absolutely ready, and not add any interventions or "natural" ( don't get me started on this! ) induction techniques.

How dilated are you?

2009-02-04T08:27:00.000-08:00

I will start this post by saying that I have been working very hard to tone down my, well, tone. Especially on here. I attended a women's retreat with a very dear friend of mine, and God did awesome things in me...and in turn, my family. It's been a long time, and He still gathered me back into His arms. God is such a gracious God.

Anyway...some of what I'm saying may sound a bit graphic...but think of it in terms of anatomy, purely.

It occured to me today, after reading a post from a woman in one of my birthy groups, just how intimate the question, "How dilated and effaced are you?" really is.

Think about it. The person is asking you if another person has had you spread open your legs, and insert a hand into your vagina, and felt your cervix. They're asking how open your cervcal Os is, and if it's thinned any.

And we don't see any problem with this initially, because we're groomed to believe that it's just what happens during pregnancy and labor...not what it is. A violation. I truly wonder what the reaction would be if we countered that question with, "How hard and long was your husband's penis at the time that you two conceived your baby?". Is that really any more personal than the question asked above?

The penis is not checked at the time of conception to make sure that it is hard enough for insertion, or that it is long enough and the sperm will make it to the cervical Os, correct? Why do we need to know, to feel with an outsider's hand, what the cervix is doing to make sure that a birth can happen?

Yes, I know, I know. If any midwives are reading this, I'm sure I know what the reaction is. YES...sometimes a cervical exam can be a VERY useful tool IN LABOR. There is zero excuse, IMO, for checking a woman's cervix before labor. And in labor? It really would have to be an exceptional reason. Checking because the labor has been going on for a few hours? Not a good reason. Checking because you want to see if mom's made any progress from the last time you checked? Not a good reason. Yes, I personally have had moms want to know what their cervix is doing, but those have only been the moms who have brought massive fears into the birth ( both being VBAC women ). I didn't want to check. Checking the cervix doesn't change what the body is doing. It doesn't change when the baby will be born.

And before anyone gets their panties in a bunch...this is not a blanket statement that ANY and ALL vaginal exams during labor are evil...just that they're overdone. I don't care if you're an OB, a hospital nurse, a hospital midwife, or a home birth midwife. I have seen home birth midwives be even more invasive than some OBs. We need to figure out WHY this is being done to women...and why women are accepting it without question.

Dear Doctor,

2009-01-11T22:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Doctor,

Why is the exact duration of a woman's pregnancy unknown?

Because I have no way to know when exactly a woman conceived.
Fear not, for I induce labor by 41 weeks if you have not gone into labor on your own by then.

Why is the end of pregnancy often restless, uncomfortable, and emotional?

It is often restless because of the size of the belly, and the hormones in the body.
It is uncomfortable because of the added weight, the weight of the baby, and the size of the belly.
It is emotional due to the many hormones that your body is producing in this time.
Fear not, for I have medications for the restlessness. I will tell you to not lift a finger if pregnancy becomes too uncomfortable, and promise an induction as soon as you're past term. I have medications for the emotions, and as soon as you rid your body of that fetus, your hormones will regulate.

Why is labor gradually more painful as time goes on?

It is increasingly more painful because the body is opening for baby. If your bones are too small, then the pain will be harder, and often pointless. If the baby is not in a good position, it will make it harder and more painful, and the baby may not come out on his own.
Fear not, for I have drugs and anesthesia to numb you from the pain. If the baby is too big or in a bad position, I will cut him out so that you will not suffer. Fear not, for I will not allow you to go too long in labor.

Are there risks with these drugs?

Very little. You need not worry about them, because you will need them to get through the pains of labor. Why should you have to suffer, when I can relieve the pain? Do not worry about the risk to your baby, because you need to be comfortable so that you can enjoy baby after the birth. Yes, there is a risk that the labor will slow, that the baby will become distressed, or that you may not be able to push the baby out effectively...
But fear not, because if the labor slows, I have drugs to make labor come back faster. Fear not, because if the baby becomes distress, I will cut him out so that he does not suffer. Fear not, because if you cannot push him out, I will use forceps or I will cut him out of your body.

Why is the urge to push said to be unbearable?

The urge to push is only felt if you do not have drugs or anesthesia in your body. This is not necessary, as I will tell you when your cervix is fully dilated, and when you will be allowed to push. I will tell you when your baby is ready.
Fear not, for I will not allow you to suffer by pushing for too long. If you cannot push the baby out, I will rescue him with forceps or a cesarean.

What is the purpose of the 'ring of fire' when pushing?

You need not worry about this if you have epidural anesthesia. You need not feel this painful sensation at all, and I do not like my patients to suffer. I will tell you when your baby's head is emerging, and if the baby's head is slow to come, I will simply cut your flesh. If I need to cut it, I will repair it with sutures.
Fear not, for I am skilled with the scissors and repair techniques.

Why do women's nipples darken during pregnancy?

They darken due to hormones. No need to worry, as they will return to normal within the months after birth, if you bottle feed.
Fear not, for they will be pretty again.

Why will my breasts leak milk after giving birth?

This is the body's normal reaction to birth. Don't worry though, as the milk will dry off and you will be rid of the heaviness within a few weeks of birth, if you bottle feed. Yes, breastmilk is best, but no one should expect a mother to feed a baby from the breast if she does not like the idea. The formula companies are always improving their design, to make it more like breastmilk. And don't worry about the chemicals in formula, as they are in such small amounts that they will surely not affect your baby.
Fear not, for you do not have to cause your breasts to be saggy...I will send you home with free samples of the second best nutrition for your baby.

Dear God,

2009-01-11T21:42:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

Why is the exact duration of a woman's pregnancy unknown to her?

Because each baby develops at a different pace in the womb, and is ready to be born only in their own time.
Fear not, and have patience, for I have a perfect Birth Day for every baby.

Why did You make it so that the end of pregnancy is often restless, uncomfortable, and emotional?

I made it restless so that your body will be ready for the night feedings with your baby.
I made it uncomfortable so that you will be ready to face the sensations of birth, that will bring forth your baby.
I made it emotional so that you will be prepared for the many emotions that come in the moment you see the fruit of your womb for the first time, and in the months of adjustment to motherhood after.
Fear not, for I created you to have strength and endurance.

Why did You make labor to be increasingly strong and painful?

So that you may learn to work through the birth pangs in each stage, and take them one at a time, rejoicing in the increasing strength and knowing that your baby is near. I made it so that the contractions grow in strength and intensity so that each one may bring the baby lower, and direct baby to be in the best position. I made labor sensations so that you may respond to your body with each need, and in knowing when baby is ready for you to begin pushing.
Fear not, for I created you to be strong and able.

Why did You make the urge to push so unbearable?

So that you would begin to push, only at the perfect time. If you begin to push before this unbearable urge, you will likely push much longer than you need to. I created this urge so that you would know, without doubt, when the baby is ready to emerge from the womb.
Fear not, for I created it this way so that you would not exhaust your body in pushing before your body and your baby are ready.

Why did You create the 'ring of fire' when pushing?

So that you would feel clearly when the baby's head is ready to emerge, and push slowly, so as to not tear your flesh.
Fear not, for I created your skin to stretch slowly, allowing for baby's head. I created your tissue to tear along only the weakest spots, if a tear is necessary. These tears will heal well on their own.

Why did You create labor and birth to be so hard for most women?

Labor and birth will not be painful for every woman, but every woman will have hard work in labor. This is a part of the curse of Adam and Eve, a part of your entry into motherhood. Just as the men are called upon to work hard to provide for their family, women are called upon to work hard to bring forth the life of their womb. Hard work in labor and birth will prepare you for the task and honor of being a mother. With motherhood comes hard work. Physically, mentally, emotionally hard work. Labor and birth open the door for the task you will be faced with.
Fear not, for I also created birth to have a reward. I created your body to release the highest amount of endorphins that will ever be known to your body, if you leave labor and birth to My design. Hindering the process will not bring this release though, so know that the hard work of labor serves a purpose, and is not without reward.

Why do women's nipples darken during pregnancy?

So that the newborn at birth, whose eyesight is yet blurry, may find the breast and be well nourished.
Fear not, for I created it so that baby may always find his way to his mother's breast, and find comfort and health.

Why do my breasts leak milk after giving birth?

So that you may provide your baby with the perfect nutrition. Colostrum so thick with fat and protein, perfect for the newly birthed baby. Breastmilk that comes in at the perfect time, in two parts. First, thinner to quench the baby's thirst. Second, thick hindmilk to fill baby's belly. Each feeding is filled with different tastes, and different textures. This prepares baby for toddler hood, when he will begin to taste the first solid foods of his life. Through nursing at the breast, a baby develops a strong, healthy jaw, and is filled with antibodies, vitamins, and essential fatty acids. A baby also receives the warmth of his mother's breast, the smell of her skin, and the sound of her heart.
Fear not, for I created breastmilk to be the most perfect food for your baby.

Media Continues to Fuel Fear and Ignorance

2009-01-09T10:12:00.000-08:00

Thursday nights are my television nights. It begins with Ugly Betty at 8, followed by Grey's Anatomy (YAY!), and now...Private Practice. For those who have never seen it, it is about a practice of doctors who offer all-around medicine. They have a Psychiatrist, a Pediatrician, 2 OB/GYNs, a Family Medicine Doc, an Alternative practitioner ( he does acupuncture, herbal therapy, etc ), and even a male student midwife who doubles as receptionist.

In the past, Private Practice hasn't exactly been unbiased in what they show for plot lines. In one episode, Addison Shepard made it perfectly clear that waterbirths are dangerous, disgusting, and a wading pool for disease.

Last night, I was beyond horrified and enfuriated with what I saw. It was media scare tactics at its best.

I'm not saying this in a judgemental way, but let's get serious for a minute here. The average American woman doesn't bother researching things like childbirth, breastfeeding vs. formula feeding, circumcision, or vaccination past what easy-read books like "What To Expect...", "Girlfriend's Guide...", and their favorite shows have to offer. Ladies, I hate to tell you, but this is NOT research.

Last night's episode happened to be about vaccinations. There was a mother who had been coming to the Practice for years, since her oldest son was a baby. Apparently after his 2 year shots, he developed Autism. She blamed it on the vaccinations, as the symptoms appeared immediately after a round of boosters. She chose to not vaccinate anymore, which meant not vaccinating her younger sons at all. In this episode, she comes back from a trip from Switzerland, and it is found that her younger son has the Measles. The practice flips out, quarantines everyone until they can get vaccination confirmation on everyone...and then proceeds to talk horribly about the woman who did not vaccinate.

The words "Child Abuse" were thrown in. It was debated at the round table discussion of doctors whether or not the pediatrician should FORCE the mother to vaccinate the sick child, and the other 2 as well. Only 2 ( reluctantly, I might add ) out of 7 said that it should be the parents' choice. The other 5 said that it was child abuse, and that the pediatrician should report the mother to Child Services.

The child gets worse, and *dies* from the measles. After the child is pronounced dead, the pediatrician goes out into the waiting room with a syringe of the measles vaccine, and vaccinates the other child against the mother's consent.

At first mom cries and screams, saying she will SUE the doctor, IF the child has any adverse reactions...and then is lamenting over causing her son to die because she chose not to vaccinate.

Is this is what people are resorting to? Seriously?

The average American parent gets their information from sources like this. They see this, through an emotional episode, then agree with how crazy and stupid people are for choosing alternatives in the health of their children.

I admit - I was crying. For a SPLIT SECOND, I second guessed my choice in not vaccinating. And then I realized that if I, who have DONE a lot of research on this, was having a split second of questioning...what are ignorant mothers/parents doing after this episode? The ones who HAVEN'T done the research?

Let's get one thing straight....if vaccinations protect against these diseases, why on earth are the parents of VACCINATED children freaking out here?

Secondly, the TINY population of children who are NOT vaccinated, are not going to cause an outbreak of rare disease that's going to kill everyone. Again, if you're vaccinated and your children are vaccinated...what's the worry? Those of us "crazies" will all die off, and you won't have anything to worry about. ;)

And child abuse? Social Services? Is this what our society is boiling down to? I believe it's MAJOR child abuse to have parents smoke inside the home where children live and sleep. Am I calling child services though? I believe it's child abuse to have alcoholic adults in the homes where children reside.

The media has already succeeded in fueling the fear surrounding childbirth. Are we going to let them do it to vaccinations?

One of the ways that the government and the media fuels this fear, is by making the number of deaths in these cases sound huge!

Unfortunately, the death rate among those who contract measles has risen recently in the United States from one in 1,000 cases to 3.2 in 1,000 cases. This higher death rate in people who contract measles seems to be due to infection of very young children who have not received the vaccine and older children and young adults who have not been fully vaccinated.

You tell me...over how many years have we seen a total of 1,000 cases in the US? The "outbreak" in 2005 was said to be the largest in YEARS...and that totaled 66 cases. So we have, what?, roughly 3.2 deaths due to measles in the past decade? Two? Three? And how many of those were the elderly, or the ones with already weakened immune systems?

As I said...the media has a way to make everything look so scary. Let's do our own research parents!

Why Epidurals AREN'T "God's Gift to Women"

2009-01-08T12:17:00.001-08:00

I hear this so many times...."Thank GOD for the Epidural!", or "The Epidural is God's gift to laboring women..."

There are so many reasons why an Epidural in labor is a BAD idea, nevermind that it is definitely NOT a gift from God.

Why?

1. God designed labor to work perfectly together. This includes *FEELING* your contractions, pelvic floor, and pushing sensations so that your body can respond accordingly. With an epidural, you *cannot* push as effectively as you would without one.

This OFTEN leads to longer labors, augmentation with pitocin ( because an epidural has a high risk of slowing labor down ), and a much longer pushing stage that is often accompanied with an instrumental delivery ( Vacuum, forceps ).

2. Epidurals can cause a fever in mom. In turn, the baby will likely be sent to the NICU for a complete sepsis work up, because they cannot assume that the fever is simply from the epidural, instead of a full infection in the uterus.

3. Epidurals can cause both temporary and permanent back and nerve damage. If it is not placed PERFECTLY, it can cause major damage.

4. Epidurals can cause major headaches that can last up to several weeks. Try recovering from childbirth, caring for a newborn ( which hopefully includes breastfeeding ), while dealing with a headache that won't go away.

5. Women who use epidurals during labor are statistically less likely to be breastfeeding at 6 months. And, since breastfeeding was designed by God to be a baby's perfect nutrition.....

6. Epidurals come with a higher risk of cesarean surgery. When a woman's labor slows, and pitocin can't pick it back up...it usually leads to a cesarean. When a woman cannot push effectively, and it's been longer than your Obstetrician ( Trained Surgeon ) is comfortable with...it usually leads to a cesarean. If you happen to get a fever from the epidural, and it increases and you are not near delivery...it usually leads to a cesarean.

7. Having an epidural disconnects you from the birthing process on an emotional level. You basically leave your baby to go through the physical aspects of labor, by him/herself, while you chit chat away, do your makeup, or get some shut-eye.

8. When you choose an epidural in labor, you screw up the flow of endorphins that was supposed to be released ( the HIGHEST amount your body will ever receive at once .... that God is a smart one! ) after natural childbirth. Now, you will not have that release. The release of endorphins after natural childbirth aids in the breastfeeding relationship, the immediate bonding, and lowers the rate of Post Partum Depression.

9. Epidurals confine you to bed, which can lead to a malpositioned baby. God designed our pelvis to be mobile, and this helps *tremendously* during labor. Through remaining mobile, we are able to help the baby rotate into optimal position for birth. In the absense of mobility, the pelvis can become stiff, and not respond to labor/pushing as it should. Epidurals also often come with the doctor artificially breaking the amniotic sac, which in turn helps to create or cement a malpositioned baby.

10. The final reason? Epidurals are selfish on the part of the mom. Epidurals have no benefit for the baby, it only adds risk. Epidurals allow the mom to have decreased to no pain during labor, once again, leaving the baby to experience the physical aspects of labor on his/her own.

Women, we are STRONG. Our bodies are CAPABLE of pushing a baby out without anesthesia. We were designed, by God, to birth babies without intervention. And sadly, it's the intervention that often leads to problems during labor and delivery, and leaves our babies susceptible to invasive intervention in the first hours of their lives...when they should be in mama's arms, and at mama's breast.

The Red Tent

2009-01-07T10:11:00.000-08:00

Recently I got my hands on a copy of the book The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. I'm halfway through it, and while I'm not sure how I feel about it on a spiritual level, I'm loving the birth stories.

I'm also loving the idea of women going inside of a tent for the duration of their period, and being amongst one another. Maybe not modern women, as we tend to be quite bitchy and emotional during our periods...but these women seemed to pamper each other during this time, and during the time of pregnancy. Reading of them massaging each other with oil, eating sweet breads, braiding each others hair...this sounded like the way to spend the duration of a period. ;)

I was also in awe at the idea of being inside of a specific place for birth, and having your sisters and friends surround you and embrace you with love and encouragement while birthing a baby. Nursing one anothers babies if there was a need. Tending to each others children, and loving each others children as their own.

It was a testament to how birth used to be. Life was accepted, as well as death. When a baby died, there wasn't a hunt to find someone responsible. It was a part of life, and accepted as such. When this happened, the circle of women surrounded the grieving mother. This seldom happens in modern society.

I have always said that if I were to get pregnant again, I would have an unassisted birth, but would want close friends surrounding me. This is still something that I desire, even though I don't think I will be having anymore babies. IF I got pregnant again, I would want a birth that is my own. I would want a birth where I have my close friends and sisters in birth surrounding me with love and encouragement and support. I think that would be a beautiful birth. No one else checking my cervix, or my blood pressure, or anything else. It would be me in tune with my body, my baby, and knowing what was going on inside.

This book has been an entertaining, and capturing read for me.

Labor Induction

2009-01-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

I've ranted and raved about this subject more than a dozen times before...and it never gets old. There is always new material out and about for me to rant about, when it comes to the practice of women forcefully evicting their unborn babies, mostly out of either convenience or coercion.

Rarely anymore do I hear of an induction that is actually medically warranted. Usually, it's because mom is so sick and tired of being pregnant, that she just wants baby out. Or, due to the holiday season, the OB is leaving on vacation...and well, you wouldn't want another doctor to attend your birth, would you? :sigh:

What gets me is the continuing cycle of ignorance. Women really don't get, or care to understand, that inductions without medical reason do more harm than good to their baby. But why would you listen to a crazy ranting lady, instead of your WONDERFUL *coughTrainedSurgeoncough*...err, I mean OB? Is an extra couple of days, or an extra week or two REALLY worth putting your baby at risk? Is it worth putting your body at risk for so many things? Is it worth the greater risk of ending up with a c-section, and possibly a baby in the NICU? Really?

What kills me is that I recently read the birth story of a woman I used to know. She has NEVER been patient enough to allow her babies to come in their own time, and always made herself sound like an idiot with the "I'm not trying to be a hero", in regards to forgoing that precious epidural. So she has never gone into labor on her own, and she has never allowed herself to actually FEEL any of her babies be birthed. This last baby was no exception. And this time? This time she allowed them to use Cytotec to induce her...and her incredibly ignorant explanation was that Cytotec is a much more "gentle" way of inducing labor, in comparison to Pitocin.

Maybe she's never read the reports of women and babies *DYING* after Cytotec inductions, or the fact that the FDA pulled it off the "Accepted Drug" lists, along with issuing an extreme warning about its use. :shrug:

The sad part is, there are so many babies out there who are not allowed to be birthed gently, in their own time. They are forced out with harsh drugs, and then more drugs are poured into their tiny systems just so their mother doesn't have to "suffer" birth pains. So baby is left to go through a forced labor, on their own.

What are the risks of an induction?

Failure. Your body does what it's supposed to do, and protects the baby who is not yet ready to be born.

Fetal Distress. In forcefully trying to get baby out when baby is not ready, many respond to induction drugs by going into distress.

Hemorrhage. When your body has been forced to do something it's not ready to, the uterus can become over-stimulated, and exhausted, causing problems with it contracting after a birth, leading to hemorrhage.

Instrumental Delivery. Since women rarely withstand inductions without drugs or an epidural, inductions have a very high rate of instrumental ( forceps, vacuum ) delivery, which would also come with iatrogenic perineal injury.

Cesarean Section. The fact is, inducing labor comes with a high risk of a cesarean delivery. If you weren't in labor, your body and your baby weren't ready. Forcing it may work for some, but definitely not for all. You will likely spend the time recovering from major abdominal surgery ( and a harder time getting baby to breastfeed if baby spent any time in the NICU ), that you could have spent in the remainder of the pregnancy, and birthing a baby who was ready to be born.

When will women learn? When will women regain the patience that women USED to have, and rest in the knowledge that babies know when it's the best time to come?

And for those who love to argue for arguments' sake...I'm not speaking of medically necessary inductions. ( Eclampsia, true IUGR, etc ) I'm speaking of the women who get to 40,41,42 weeks and don't want to be pregnant anymore. I'm speaking of the women who have been "stuck" at 1,2,3,4cm "forever" and like to believe that they'll never go into labor on their own. I'm speaking of the women who allow their doctors to schedule induction because they're ready to go out of town, or have a Tee Time to make it to. Or for women who believe it's safest to induce at 39/40 weeks because their baby will be TOO HUGE to birth within a week or two....because we all know that baby's head and shoulders hit an INCREDIBLE growth spurt past then. ;)

And for the Prodromal Laboring women....Prodromal labor SUCKS, but it still doesn't mean you're in actual labor for weeks on end, or that your baby will never come out. It doesn't mean that baby is ready. It doesn't mean that induction is okay because you're tired, frustrated, or hurting. Have patience. Your baby will come, and often, there's a VERY good reason for prodromal labor, or intense Braxton Hicks contractions.

Women, slow down. Have patience, and allow your babies to come in the time that they're meant to, naturally.

Big Babies = Cesarean Sections

2008-11-24T16:05:00.001-08:00

My stomach lurched when I read this in a news story today:

http://www.kdhnews.com/news/story.aspx?s=29508

So, when I got the call on Nov. 13 at 1:30 p.m., it was no surprise to hear my mother say Ben checked in at a whopping 9 pounds (don't worry gals, Ben came into the world by way of cesarean section at 12:37 p.m.).

Yes, don't worry gals!!! Don't become horrified over the idea that a **HUGE** 9 lb baby came out of a woman's va-jay-jay, hoo ha, pwerta....ah hem, VAGINA. Lord no!!! Who would want that?!?! There's no way! That's an appaling idea!

When did nine pound babies become monsters that required extraction through the abdominal wall? When did nine pound babies become un-birthable? When did it become a societal "joke" that women wouldn't be so stupid as to deliver a "large" baby in any other way than the on-demand birth way?

Last Sunday, November 16th, was my HBAC baby's birthday. She turned three. My baby turned three! She was 10.10lbs, 23" long, and was posterior. It infuriated me that everyone's FIRST reaction when her weight was told, was "You had a c-section, right?"

I got enormous satisfaction by telling them that she was born at home, onto the very bed she was created in. Also, that she was a VBAC baby. That my cesarean baby was pulled out of my body, because my bastard OB told me that he would be "too big" to deliver safely. He was only 8.8lbs...and spent 9 days in the NICU because of severe respiratory distress ( i.e., wasn't READY ). I didn't know any better.

So women...be offended. This article plays up the social stigma that women are INCAPABLE of delivering a large baby. We are, in fact, more than capable! We are WOMEN. We are made to birth. Whether the baby be 7lbs or 11lbs...we are made to birth.

And in honor of my baby's birthday, here is my MONSTER of a HUGE baby now :

The U.S. is failing women and babies

2008-11-13T10:10:00.000-08:00

The USA received a "D" overall on the March of Dimes' first state-by-state "Premature Birth Report Card," released today.

Hospitals need to review the reasons for labor inductions and cesarean sections performed before 39 weeks' gestation. Studies show that some are scheduled early for the doctor's and/or mother's convenience, not medical reasons.

And....

With 15.6 percent of all babies born early, South Carolina got an F on the March of Dimes' first national prematurity report card released Wednesday.

Medical conditions such as high blood pressure, unnecessary cesarean births and the growing use of fertility treatments resulting in multiple babies also play a role.

Hmm. And....

Wisconsin has the nation’s 12th highest rate of premature births.

The March of Dimes says 11.4 percent of the Badger State’s babies are born prior to their normal term of 37 weeks. The group has given the state a grade of “D” for its prevention efforts.

One of every 12 Wisconsin births are late pre-termers, coming anywhere from 34 to 36 weeks. They’re caused by early labor inductions and Cesarean sections, according to the group.

Anyone notice a common theme?

Oooh, I do I do!! It's the ever-so-trendy and now, accepted, on-demand inductions and cesareans. Well heck, if we have On-Demand TV, why *shouldn't* we have on-demand births?

Oh yeah...the baby.

People are forgetting about the babies in all of this. Nobody remembers what pregnancy is about. Nobody remembers that the baby's health is supposed to come first, not the convenience of the mother or doctor. Not because mom is done being pregnant. Not because the doctor has a vacation planned. The BABY is supposed to be the priority.

Studies show that inductions ( that often lead to cesareans anyway ) and cesareans are HARMFUL for babies. Other people would have you think otherwise. I actually ran across a blog recently where the woman ( a journalist ) is brightening up the idea of elective cesareans, by comparing the risk of things like "Episiotomy risks in Planned Vaginal Delivery, versus Planned Cesarean Delivery."

No kidding? The risk of episiotomy is higher when having a vaginal birth? Well knock me over with a feather.

And things like "Instrumental delivery in PVD, versus PCD." What's hysterical about this one is, a good number of cesarean deliveries are facilitated by a vacuum extractor.

The thing that I noticed about her page was that she only compared two options. Average, United States hospital planned vaginal birth, to a planned cesarean. Last time I checked, there were a few options in between. Like advocating for yourself. Like avoiding interventions such as inductions, epidurals, drugs. Like speaking up and saying NO to an episiotomy, and NO to delivering in a lithotomy position. Or like staying OUT of the hospital to begin with. ;)

But that's not what we're talking about, she said to me. We're talking about the average woman who gives birth. Ah yes, you mean idiots then, right? ( And I am speaking to my former self in that category, before anyone gets their panties in a wad )

The sad part is, women will look at her skewed statistics, her misguided conclusions, and believe that elective cesarean should be a perfectly fine option for all, and is in fact in many cases, safer than a planned vaginal birth.

Hmm.

And yet, there is overwhelming evidence that says exactly the opposite. But what is more accessible? The media showing elective cesareans. The blogs that have incredibly erroneous information. The general attitude towards birth ( when did women become so disempowered? ) in the mainstream? "I could NEVER do it without an epidural, I'm not a hero.", "I'm done being pregnant. I just want to hold my baby."

It's selfishness. And that selfishness is landing more and more babies in the NICU. Is that what you want, ladies? Do you want your baby to end up in the NICU because you couldn't do your research? Because you couldn't hold out another few weeks of pregnancy? Because you couldn't refuse an induction or an epidural?

Is this what you want to wake up out of a cesarean drug haze to?

It's what I woke up to. Noah was "term". He was 8 1/2 lbs. But HE WAS NOT READY. I allowed a very smooth talking OB scare me into a cesarean, after going on and on about shoulder dystocia, broken collar bones, nerve damage, and cerebral palsy. I was not informed. And my decision was NOT with INFORMED consent. I was never told of the risks of an elective cesarean. And I was too brainwashed into believing that doctors have your best interest in mind.

And then he spoke of being able to get back to his office in time for his furniture delivery, and office remodel....as he stood over my open belly.

Elective cesareans are harmful. They are not safe. They are not okay. And I am NOT for women being able to choose this, and put the life of their baby in danger.

And doctors need to held responsible for coercion, scheduling out of convenience, and scare tactics. Because they're harming women and babies. Whatever happened to the Hippocratic Oath?

Making History

2008-11-06T12:12:00.000-08:00

I am trying to figure out how I feel about the election results. To be perfectly honest, I am not much of a political person. It's never been something I've desired to follow very easily, so in turn, I don't understand a lot of it.

I knew that as a Christian, I had heard a lot of bad things about Obama. I also had mixed feelings because as much of a dirty hound as Clinton was, his Democratic time in office had us in a good economic period, that was all shot down once Bush got into office. It was interesting. Sure, we have a guy with seemingly better morals, but we came damn near to another Great Depression. :sigh:

So today I decided to take a look at what all of the fuss is, aside from the Pro-Choice views that I vehemently disagree with. Particularly partial birth and botched abortion views that Obama holds.

In my searching, I found it quite odd that Mr. Obama does not hold his hand over his heart for the National Anthem, or for the Flag Salute. I have seen flack back and forth that it doesn't matter whether or not a person holds their hand over their heart for this. ANY person, maybe. The guy who's running to be the next *leader* of our "great" country? Yes. I believe it's very important. It shows respect for our Country. For what this Country was founded upon. Maybe he doesn't respect that. Who knows. He's pro abortion, and he's pro gay marriage ( which I personally am against ). Part of me also wonders about his birth place as well. I'd like to believe that if that was never truly cleared up, that he would not have been ABLE to be a running candidate. However, I have not seen that he has shown proof of a Hawaii birth certificate, in my limited search. Anyone know about that one?

His prior pastor does bother me. A lot of the things that he has been recorded as saying, just doesn't sit right with me.

Then again, I didn't want McCain/Palin in the White House either. ;) LOL I was still really, really holding out for Ron Paul.

In all of this, I don't know what the next 4-8 years is going to hold. I do know that it's a scarier time as a parent. I had to gently explain what Prop 8 was to my nearly 7 year old daughter the other day. I didn't have to worry about that stuff when I was 7. My mom didn't have to worry about what I would learn in school, or what information I might bring home. I'm strongly reconsidering homeschooling.

I do know that I have been reminded that all we can do as Christians is pray. We are, according to the bible, to honor the people that God puts in authority, because ultimately it is His will. A friend that I have grown up with ( literally, friends for 22 years now ) wrote this so eloquently, and I am sharing with his permission :

No matter who a person voted for, despite their allegiance to the Republican, Democratic, Independent, or Green Party, Barack Obama has been elected the 44th President of the United States of America.

The Bible makes it clear that no matter what political affiliation I hold, my response to the ruling authorities is to be the same:

"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed." (Romans 13:1, 7)

"Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor." (1 Peter 2:13-14, 16-17).

My ultimate allegiance is to God, my Eternal Emperor. He has deemed to give certain humans power and authority and my response should be the same no matter who that person is. Right now, that person is President Obama. He has my respect and honor.

Orgasmic Birth and Midwife-to-Midwife Scare Tactics

2008-10-28T10:05:00.001-07:00

So I saw Orgasmic Birth on Saturday. I thought it was outstanding. I obviously believe that normal birth belongs at home, where women are treated as they should be - normal, healthy, strong laboring women - but this film did an excellent job at showing the stark comparison between home and hospital.

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, given the film's title, but it was a beautiful representation of the intimacy of childbirth. Laboring and birthing is such an intimate time between a woman and her partner, or it should be anyway. The film showed how intimate birth is when they showed the scenes of the women birthing at home. Kissing passionately, slowly, seductively with her partner. Touching, cuddling, whispering, loving. The film also showed a woman who had 2 rolling orgasms during labor and birth. Now THAT'S the way to give birth! ;)

People don't realize, or don't want to see, that birth is a very intimate, even sensual and sexual thing in a woman's life. Endorphins are released, oxytocin is released. The same hormones that are released while one is making love. This idea is seen as "gross" or "weird" to so many women, and that makes me sad. If only more women could see birth as an intimate time, I believe it would make a difference in how our babies are coming into the world.

The film showed 2 hospital births. One in which the mother arrived to the hospital, after laboring beautifully and intimately at home, at the very end of labor. The nurses didn't even think that the mother was far into labor. As beautiful as the labor was, it was a typical hospital birth, just without drugs. She was in bed, delivered on her back, and baby was assaulted with gloved hands, and suction, as soon as he was out. The other hospital birth was an induction. Pitocin, eventually an epidural. Mom was on her back, now disconnected from the baby she was laboring out. In the end, because of the epidural, baby was suctioned out with a vacuum, after 2 different tries and threats of a cesarean. This baby was also assaulted upon delivery. And what did mom say? She said that as much as she wanted a natural birth, you "have" to be prepared in case things don't go as you intended them to go.

My interpretation? Stay out of the hospital if you want a shot at a normal, healthy, beautiful birth. If you're there, you are HIGHLY likely to have at LEAST one unnecessary intervention, and not likely to have your baby left the hell alone for the first hour when it's so very important. Here's the trailer:

So I bet you're wondering where the midwife-to-midwife scare tactic comes into play, right? At the screening I ran into a midwife, S, who has been around for some years. I was a doula at what was supposed to be a home VBAC ( ended up in unnecessary hospital transport ) with S. I was appalled at how she was with the laboring woman. I was appalled at the language she used during a woman's labor. I was appalled at the repetitive and unnecessary vaginal exams, followed by breaking the mother's water after the mother explicitly said NO. At some point during labor, said midwife basically accosted me ( I had never really met her before this, definitely didn't KNOW her ) by asking my intentions for midwifery. I had said that I wasn't sure yet. She went on to tell me how my preceptor was not responsible in remaining a traditional midwife, and not obtaining a license. The same midwife that S has called for help, or referred to in the past when she's had a client with twins, or a breech baby. Convenient, huh?

At the screening, she asked what I am up to. I told her what I am up to. She went on to tell me examples of midwives being interviewed over the phone, to find their licensure status, disguised as interested clients. She then asked if I'm worried over the possibility, in the future, of the risk I might take. What I wanted to say, and what I did say were slightly different. She knows, as well as every other midwife, damn well that *every* midwife takes a risk every single time she steps out of her door to attend a home birth. Licensed, not licensed, or with a dozen different title initials behind their name. And since S has been attending births recently that are outside of what her licensure allows, she is acting illegally anyway. ;)

What was more interesting to me, is that a former preceptor of mine, was once partners with S. She would tell me repeatedly of how irresponsible and dangerous S is to women, and that she regretted helping her obtain her license, which she would not have, without her help supposedly. Then S, turns and tells me, in not so many words, that I am dangerous. Funny, isn't it? I guess in the area of most midwives, you have to have had the exact same training, and the exact same credentials as the next in order to be given even the least bit of respect, or support. Everyone seems to be backstabbing everyone else. And that's sad, given that every midwife is supposed to be in it to help give women better births, and see babies come into this world in a more healthy way.

And you know, I am lonely. I wish that women weren't such women. I wish that we could support each other, lean on each other, and ask each other for advice...without having such a competitive or divided nature. My plans for the future are uncertain. But I would wish that whatever I decide, I could be supported simply because I am working towards the same goal as everyone else : Helping women have better births.

Cesarean Sections carry up to FOUR TIMES greater risk of dying...

2008-10-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to this story in my inbox. I created a Google Alert for anything related to Cesareans.

One more woman is dead, after a "routine" cesarean section, a baby has suffered complications from the surgery...and now that baby has to grow up without a mother. Her husband has to raise a child on his own.

It absolutely blows me away that women believe that cesareans are safe. Some even say that it is safer than a vaginal birth. The risk of dying during a cesarean is roughly 1 in 2,500. The risk of dying during a vaginal birth is roughly 1 in 10,000. A cesarean carries about a 4 times greater risk of dying than a vaginal birth. So how is major surgery safer?

Women don't see it as major surgery. Hell, everyone is having a cesarean now. Most celebrities, women who elect to have one so that they don't tear ( because THAT'S a logical reason for wanting major abdominal surgery! ), or because they had a previous cesarean and their doctors scare them into believing a VBAC is too dangerous, or because they believe it's the only way to deliver breech babies or twins. Some elect for a cesarean so that they don't have to go through the pain of labor - completely forgetting or being unaware of the recovery after, oh yeah, MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY. I had a relatively "easy" recovery after mine. However, you never realize just how much you use your abdominal muscles for *everything*, until they've been severed, and you can't use them without excruciating pain. ( Unless you've chosen to drug yourself through recovery ) I couldn't laugh, sneeze, cough, sit up, roll over in bed, lean over, sit up straight, without horrible pain for at least a week after my cesarean. And yet, mere hours after my HBAC I was up having dinner with my family, the next day feeling no pain whatsoever. ( After I pushed out a 10.10lb, posterior baby girl out of my vagina! )

When will women understand? What's it going to take? More women dying? More babies being left motherless? We've had several cesarean deaths in the past 2 years. Two of them, at the same hospital, only weeks apart. Most hospitals have a sky high cesarean rate, and most have a very low VBAC rate. Women think that they can go into the hospital and birth with a trained surgeon, and they'll be fine as long as they have their doctor sign their birth plan. This is naivety at best. An Obstetrician is a trained surgeon. What do you think is going to happen at the first sign of any *possible* trouble?

Roughly 1 in every 3 women who birth in the hospital, will walk out( or, more accurately, be wheeled out ) recovering from *MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY*. This is why low-risk women need to stay away from the hospital for birth. It's not the right place to be if you want to give your baby the best possible birth, and give you the best possible chance to avoid major surgery.

Anyway, here is the story:

For the first time in more than 10 years, a patient at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center has died while undergoing a caesarean section, the hospital reported yesterday.

The mother died Friday, and the baby experienced complications but appears to be improving, Dr. Kenneth Sands, the hospital's senior vice president of healthcare quality, said in a brief statement.

"This sad and very rare event appears to relate to an unanticipated complication at the time the baby was delivered by caesarean section," it read.

"We immediately launched an internal review and have reported to the Department of Public Health. This is obviously a very sad and distressing event for our staff . . . who have not experienced a loss like this for over 10 years. We continue to extend our deepest sympathy to the family."

The patient's name and other medical details were not disclosed.

The risk of death from a caesarean section is estimated at fewer than 1 in 2,500, according to information on the hospital's website.

That is significantly more than the roughly 1-in-10,000 risk of death during a vaginal birth.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2008/10/22/patient_undergoing_c_section_dies/

Risks and Side Effects of Epidural Anesthesia

2008-10-20T15:49:00.001-07:00

I wrote this a LONG time ago, but a friend recently asked if I've ever written anything about epidurals. Amber, here ya go! :)

It always completely dumbfounds me when I hear someone say that epidurals are harmless. That if you "have" ( I'll comment on this later ) to have one, don't feel bad about it. It's no big deal. Women either don't know ( lack of education surrounding epidurals ) or don't care ( their comfort is more important than baby's safety ) about the risks and side effects of an epidural. After all, why should anyone point it out when it's not PC to do so. When you point out that it carries risk, and the motivation behind getting one is purely selfish...you're being judgemental, not factual. Sorry ladies, I'm not afraid to offend with the truth.

So, let's take a look at the risks and side effects to both mom AND baby, when an epidural is used during labor. This is a summary of a very large, recent study that was done. It has several authors, and was also done by meta-analysis. The full study summary can be found at:
http://www.transitiontoparenthood.com/ttp/foreducators/ceinfo/Side%20Effects%202.htm

Risks and Side Effects of Epidural Anesthesia During Labor:

* Limited Mobility - 100%
* Low Blood Pressure - up to 50%
* Fever, mom - up to 24%
* Urinary Retention - up to 68%
* Post Partum Urinary Incontenence - 27% with an epidural, 13% without
* Shivering - 33%
* Nausea - up to 30%
* Vomiting - up to 13%
* Itching - between 8-100% ( varying degrees )
* Backache Immediately After Birth - 53%
* Incomplete Pain Relief - up to 25%
* Slower 1st Stage of Labor - up to 4.8 hours longer
* Longer 2nd Stage ( pushing ) - up to 55 minutes longer
* Instrumental Delivery - up to 80%. 6 out of 9 studies indicate that less than 50% of women with an epidural had a spontanious vaginal delivery.
* Fever in the baby ( that result in a sepsis work up ) - 30%
* Fetal Distress - 10-15%
* Malpositioned Baby - up to 26%
* Lower Apgar Scores- up to 17%
* Baby Having to Endure Sepsis Work Up ( which includes spinal tap ) - up to 34%
* Baby Being Treated with Antibiotics - up to 15%
* Effects on Breastfeeding - Women who used epidurals were less likely to still be breastfeeding at 6 months. ( 30% vs. 50% )
* Cesarean - 2-3 times as likely with an epidural.

THESE are the reasons that I'm against epidurals. Again, the reasons behind getting an epidural are purely selfish. And why would you put your baby through these risks, just to escape the pain of labor, that only lasts a very short while in the grand scheme of things? God designed childbirth to be so very perfect. After birth, we have the highest amount of endorphins released at one point...unless there have been artificial chemicals added to the body. So we totally miss out on God's fullest blessing in birth, by numbing for labor.

Consumer Report on Maternity Care in the US

2008-10-20T10:46:00.001-07:00

I saw this, and found it wonderfully interesting. :)

Consumer Reports

Quiz: Maternity care, beware

Despite growing evidence of harm, many obstetricians and maternity hospitals still overuse high-tech procedures that can mean poorer outcomes for baby and Mom. Test your knowledge with our quiz below, and then learn more in our report.

1. An obstetrician will deliver better maternity care, overall, than a midwife or family doctor.

False. Studies show that the 8 percent to 9 percent of U.S. women who use midwives and the 6 to 7 percent who choose family physicians generally experienced just-as-good results as those who go to obstetricians. Those who used midwives also ended up with fewer technological interventions. For example, women who received midwifery care were less likely to experience induced labor, have their water broken for them, episiotomies, pain medications, intravenous fluids, and electronic fetal monitoring, and were more likely to give birth vaginally with no vacuum extraction or forceps, than similar women receiving medical care. Note that an obstetric specialist is best for the small proportion of women with serious health concerns.

2. Induced labor can halt fetal development.

True. The vital organs (including the brain and lungs) continue to develop beyond the 37th week of gestation. There is also a five-fold increase in the brain’s white matter volume between 35 and 41 weeks after conception. Inducing labor (with synthetic oxytocin, for example) might stop this growth if the fetus is not fully developed. Between 1990 and 2005, the number of women whose labor was induced more than doubled.

3. Due-date estimates can be off by up to two weeks.

True. This inaccuracy can lead to a baby being delivered by induction or Caesarean section up to two weeks earlier than its estimated due-date, cutting off important weeks of fetal development.

4. “Breaking the waters” helps hasten labor.

False. There is no evidence to support the fact that this common practice (about 47% of women) shortens labor, increases maternal satisfaction, or improves outcomes for newborns.

5. Induced labor increases the likelihood of Caesarean section in first-time mothers.

True. The cervix may not be ready for labor. Other effects of induced labor include an increased likelihood of an epidural, an assisted delivery with vacuum extraction or forceps, and extreme bleeding postpartum.

6. Once you’ve had a C-section, it’s best to do it again.

False. Studies show that, as the number of a woman’s previous C-sections increased, so did the likelihood of harmful conditions, including: trouble getting pregnant again, problems delivering the placenta (placenta accreta), longer hospital stays, intensive-care (ICU) admission, hysterectomy, and blood transfusion.

7.Labor itself can benefit a newborn’s immunity.

True. When babies do not experience labor (if the mother has a C-section before entering into labor, for example), they fail to benefit from changes that help to clear fluid from their lungs. That clearance can protect against serious breathing problems outside the womb. Passage through the vagina might also increase the likelihood that the newborn’s intestines will be colonized with “good” bacteria after the sterile womb environment.

8. Epidural anesthesia is a low-risk way to make labor easier.

False. Many women welcome the pain relief, but might not be well-informed about the increased risk of its side-effects, including lack of mobility, sedation, fever, longer pushing, and serious perineal tears.

9. Epidural anesthesia presents risks to newborns.

True. Babies whose mothers received epidurals during labor are at risk for rapid heart rate, hyperbilirubinemia (the presence of an excess of bilirubin in the blood), need for antibiotics, and poorer performance on newborn assessment tests.

10. Episiotomies reduce the risk of perineal tearing.

False. Evidence shows that routine use of episiotomy offers no benefits but rather increases women’s risk of experiencing perineal injury, stitches, pain and tenderness, leaking stool or gas, and pain during sexual intercourse. Yet in 2005, 25 percent of women with vaginal births continued to experience this intervention. Episiotomy is one of several obstetric practices adopted into common usage before being adequately studied.

Source: “Evidence-Based Maternity Care: What It Is and What It Can Achieve,” a detailed review of clinical evidence by Carol Sakala and Maureen P. Corry published by the Childbirth Connection, the Reforming States Group, and the Milbank Memorial Fund, October 2008.

Dear God, it's me....

2008-10-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

I'm perfectly aware that I will sound like Job for a while. I'm a little ( okay, a lot ) frustrated that I keep ending up with things, medically, that don't really have any set "cure".

Over the past year and a half, I have put on nearly 50 pounds. When it first piled on, 25 lbs in less than a month and a half ( had my dr baffled ), I cut out soda, extra sugar, drank water like a fish, and ate really well. I was walking 2 miles a day. I GAINED 5 lbs in two weeks, in between visits. Once again, the doctor was baffled. They checked my ovaries and uterus for cysts, found nothing. I think I had 2-3 ultrasounds done within a month's period. They checked all of my labs, and all came back normal. She put me on a higher fiber diet, which I adhered to, and nada. I gave up. After that period, I gave up. And yes, probably ( certainly ) prematurely, but I gave up. I'm tired of being fat, but I don't have the motivation or will power to get up and do something about it ... because I'm terrified of working my butt off to have my butt not go anywhere again. I came to the conclusion, after having every single darn sign and symptom, that I have PCOS. Finally, after taking Vitex, my cycles are back to normal. But the pain in the ovaries/uterus is still prevalent, the acne is HORRID ( and I've ALWAYS had clear skin!! ), the weight gain is still going on, and I have a few oh-so-beautiful skin tags along my neckline.

So along with my ear problems that I've been having, I sat in the ENT's office for three hours to be seen yesterday, to find that I have yet another problem that cannot exactly be fixed. Something else that I have to "just" live with. The ENT believes that I have Meniere's Disease ( good guess, Emily! ), and possibly TMJ. He set me up for an MRI, which I am waiting to hear back about. He said that someone my age should not be experiencing all of these symptoms. Same thing I was told about my gynecological problems.

So yeah. I'm a bit frustrated, and in a bit of a pity party. I just don't understand WHY these things keep happening. I would LOVE to be totally ignorant of the risks, and go in and have gastric bypass done, and possibly a tubal/hysterectomy. I'd love to really believe that those would solve everything. But I know they won't. And that pisses me off somewhat as well! LOL

This is just me whining again. It's really, really hard to have ears that are killing me, a head that is spinning, an achey feeling in my head....and have kids running around hollering and screaming and fighting...and having no help. Well, I do have help, in the form of my husband's 67 year old Grandmother. But I feel too bad asking her to take them. I'm the last person to say that they're easy going. Which brings me to my next part...

I've been a really bad mom. And that's not said for sympathy or a pat on the hand and being told "No you're not". I'm an honest person - even when it comes to myself. I've been yelling FAR too often lately. The truth is, the kids have gotten so far out of control that I don't know how to bring the reigns in again. And I know the yelling and me being angry contributes to the pain in my head/jaw/whatever...but sometimes it seems like the only thing that gets the kids' attention. And I hate that! I don't like that we have children who I can't rely on to behave in public...I'm one of THOSE parents. :( Megan is so utterly spoiled, because we've spoiled her, with being the "baby" of the family. We've never had one child be the "baby" for this long. By this time, I would already have had a baby...probably a year old at this point.

I'm just overwhelmed all the way around. :)

A break from my midwifery rantings ( err, ramblings ) huh? LOL Gives you a little more of a personal insight to me I guess. The good, bad, and ugly. ;)

This is awful :(

2008-10-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

This has absolutely nothing to do with midwifery, but I am feeling awful.

I have really bad tinnitis in my left ear. I found out almost a year ago that I have scarring on that ear drum as well. I went in to see an ENT due to vertigo ( I know, all at once, huh? ), and they gave me that news.

The ringing in my ears has progressively been getting worse, to the point where I often cannot go to sleep at night because of the seriously high pitched sound in my ear. Well lately, it's been accompanied by a cold feeling, or like a portion of my ear has gone to sleep. On Sunday I woke up and was a bit dizzy and my head just ached. I tried to shake it off, because I was going to surprise the girls with Disneyland for the day. I ate, took some extra strength tylenol, and prayed it would go away. It didn't. As we waded through the horrible crowds at Disneyland, the dizziness and headache got worse. We had to leave early, otherwise I didn't think I'd be able to drive home.

Yesterday any noise the kids made was absolutely unbearable. Each squeak felt like someone was jabbing an ice pick into my head. I now have a very congested feeling along with pain running down the left side of my neck, and little noises are still driving me crazy. I went to bed as soon as Jeramy got home last night, but even with drops and a cotton ball in my ear, my hooded sweatshirt over my ear, the blanket over that, and my door closed...the noise still hurt very much. :(

I had made an appointment with an ENT that Jeramy has seen, for Thursday afternoon. I woke up this morning to it being even worse, and was able to switch my appointment to a stand-by one this afternoon at 3:30. I was warned that I will have to wait quite a while, but I don't care at this point. I just need to know what's going on, and get some relief. I was horrible to the kids yesterday because of the pain, and the intense pain that came with noise by them. I can't keep going like this. :(

So anyway, pray that the ENT finds what's wrong, and is able to offer me some relief. You all know how I feel about drugs - but boy I wouldn't mind some good ones right about now!

To echo a running theme on Grey's Anatomy:

2008-10-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

Seriously? Seriously! Seriously?!?!

I have been totally and completely irritated with the lack of breastfeeding advocacy in the US. Especially after visiting the Philippines, and seeing pro-breastfeeding stuff EVERYWHERE. And no, that's not being overdramatic. Posters explaining the benefits were everywhere you looked.

Here? Here we're too damn PC to say "HEY! LADY! You're supposed to be giving your baby the best! There are r-e-a-s-o-n-s that there are breastfeeding slogans like 'Breast is Best', you know! There are reasons that formula companies put that on the can and in every commercial!!!" Nooo, we can't say that. Because that might undermind the decision of a woman who believes that her breasts are sexual objects only, or the woman who thinks that breastfeeding is gross, or the woman who thinks it's just too hard.

In the grocery store the other day, a woman had a Breast Cancer Awareness tote bag, and yet was buying a huge can of formula for her roughly week-old daughter sitting in her carrier, in the very back of the grocery cart.

:crickets chirping:

In the words of Homer Simpson: "DOH!". Yes, let's make sure that everyone knows about Breast Cancer...but did YOU know that breastfeeding actually reduces your risk of said cancer? Again: "DOH!"

In the past 2 days, I have seen commercials on feeding your BABY ( not toddler, not child...BABY ) the essential fatty acids such as the Omegas, and about making sure that your baby gets enough DHA in his or her diet. They mention fish sources, foods, even FORMULAS with ADDED nutrients ( because it's manufactured, processed, and preserved REMEMBER? )....but not ONCE did the damn thing mention, oh yeah, BREASTFEEDING!!!!!

Have we really gotten that PC as a society that the babies don't matter? "It's her choice, I can't make her feel bad or change her mind!". Really? What if the people who were against slavery decided that it wasn't any of their business what went on in other households? What if the civil rights activists decided that it wasn't their problem if a black person had the very same right to be in schools and buses and shops and theaters, as white people?

Now you've gone too far, Birthkeeper!

Have I? Really? Is it so far fetched for someone to worry about the babies who have the misfortune of being born to mothers who obviously don't care enough about their well being to simply breastfeed? I'm not asking for the woman to sign her breasts up for the next 3 years. But one year?!?!? Six months?!?! I advocate for longer than that, as does many health organizations, but I'd be happy if babies got at least 6 months to a year.

But that's not going to happen unless women start their selfless portion of motherhood during pregnancy.

It Only Takes One

2008-10-10T12:05:00.000-07:00

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure why I am writing this. Therapeutic? Maybe. To possibly help some other woman along the way, somewhere? Maybe. But maybe I am doing this for my daughters. It terrifies me to think that unless our birth environment changes, that they will be faced with the same misinformation and fear in childbirth that I faced in the very start of my childbearing years. The very same that caused me to end up on an operating table, being cut open, having my son removed from my body. The faith in my body and the faith in my Maker were blacked out by one single, smooth talking authority figure. Who was I to question him? It only takes one sometimes. Even when you have one hundred telling you the truth…sometimes it only takes the one.

So this might be my way of being a “one”. Certainly not for every woman. I can be far too controversial for that. And not every woman wants change. Some women want to remain in the place that they are in, because it means that the responsibility lies on someone else’s shoulders. But if my passion, my heart, my advocacy changes things for even one woman, then I have done a good job. I always tell people that I am the furthest from a feminist that they will ever meet … except when it comes to childbirth. We NEED strong women to stand up against what is being done to other women, for what has been done to us. Our babies. Our bodies. We NEED strong women to make a change, now, so that our daughters don’t have to fight…and face losing as we did. This is OUR responsibility. Not just the outspoken advocates who have already been heard, and labeled an activist. It is OUR responsibility, the average woman’s, to fight against the damage being done to women as a whole. If we don’t, then our daughters face the same.

I hear from women all the time, “I know that a home birth is probably the best way to have a natural birth, but my husband would never go for it.” We place the responsibility on our husbands or partners for something that they will never physically experience. Our husbands do not feel what we feel during childbirth. The hard work, the pain, the joy, and the utter empowerment. They will never know what it feels like to constantly have their body violated by unwanted vaginal exams, or checkups done without prior permission. They will never know how it feels to have the baby that they just worked so hard for, taken away by a stranger with gloves on. They will never feel that pull. It’s not instinctual for them. Stress can completely interfere with labor, and this is a fact that many women do not know. I don’t think I can even count on one hand, the women that I have come across that actually knows what goes on inside of our body during labor. Why? Why is this not known? Why is it not known how routine practices in childbirth can damage the hormonal flow?
So far, I have never come across a woman who has been unable to labor effectively in their home. Some don’t understand why their labor at home was shorter than their labor in the hospital. This all points back to the beautifully choreographed dance of hormones in labor. But women are not educated about hormones. They are not educated about what goes on inside of their body, and inside of their baby, during labor and childbirth. Seldom do I come across a woman who knows WHY inductions are not good, and even more seldom do I find a woman who knows that when an induction “fails”, the body was doing its job beautifully – protecting the baby who is not ready to be born.

For most women, it is simple. She goes to her routine prenatal appointments, and doesn’t ask too many questions. After all, her doctor or midwife is a doctor or midwife, and knows what s/he is doing. She goes in for any and all tests and screenings that are recommended. As she gets to 36 weeks, she prepares for weekly vaginal exams to see what her body is doing, if anything. At 38/39 weeks, she is offered a membrane sweep, since her cervix doesn’t seem to be cooperating. And since she trusts her care provider fully, she does not question this, or ask about potential risks and side effects. She becomes discouraged that her cervix has not yet begun to dilate, and asks her care provider what will happen if she gets to the next appointment and has not yet had her baby. She does not do her own independent research, because after all, she is not the one with the medical degree. Her care provider discusses the possibility of induction, and tells her that she can then pick her baby’s birth date. No more waiting! No more discomfort of pregnancy! She can plan her baby’s birth date, and have her family in town to do so, if she wishes. And to the average woman, this sounds great. Why wouldn’t it? She has not been told any differently, and she has not researched her options. She has not researched each thing that has been done, and has not been able to give true informed consent for anything. Why?

With books like What To Expect When You’re Expecting, it walks her though all of what is mentioned above. Why would she think to ask questions? Her expert pregnancy book has groomed her for these appointments, and she has been expecting them for a while. Popular pregnancy sites like BabyCenter.com, and AmazingPregnancy.com, all include the same phrase ( possibly worded differently, but all meaning the same ) sprinkled through every article : “Depending on what your doctor decides is best…”. Where is the advice about researching every prenatal/labor/birth option thoroughly and make an informed decision? Where is the information that shows both sides of the coin on a wide variety of prenatal, labor, and birth topics? Where is the responsibility?

Some women say it lies with their care provider. The care provider says it lies within the patients.

If we do not have more women stand up and teach other women about taking responsibility in prenatal care, labor, and birth…then this cycle will continue. Ignorance in childbirth is one of the most dangerous kinds of ignorance. It’s a failed responsibility that every woman needs to take back, if not for themselves, for their daughters. Their friends. Their sisters. Regardless of who it is done for, it needs to be done. And it needs to be done soon.

When I began writing this, I wasn’t sure who I was writing this to or for. I am sure now. I am writing this as a call for advocacy and activism. This is a call for women to use their voices, their feet, their minds. This is a call for women to take responsibility for birth, and make a change. There are so many avenues by which to do this, one only needs to ask. One woman can write dozens of letters to hospital administrators, state legislators, the state medical board. One woman can wear advocacy t-shirts, and get noticed, answer questions. One woman can pass out flyers, or lend help to local birth change organizations. One woman can spill her heart out onto a page, and have hundreds of readers who might finally question the routine practices in childbirth. One woman can begin a fight for the babies who have no choice in what is done to them at birth.

And total change can start with just one. Total change can start with you.

Women Unaware of Adhesion Risks

2008-10-02T10:16:00.000-07:00

Maybe that's because cesarean *surgery* has become so commonplace, that women don't realize that there are major risks associated with it? Maybe because women now are so conditioned to believe that a cesarean is simply another way to have a baby? It deeply, deeply saddens me that cesarean risks are so downplayed. And ahdesions may not seem like a huge deal - until you've experienced a particularly bad bout of adhesions breaking up...feeling like dozens of rubber bands snapping inside of your body. :(

And seriously? They're offering free copies of "Guide to preparing for gynecologic surgery"?!?!? How about a guide on how to PREVENT gynecologic surgery? Where's that free copy?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Wednesday, October 1, 2008*
5:41:00 PM EDT New Survey Reveals Women Are Unaware of the Dangers of
Surgical Adhesions

*Red Bank, NJ* - Although more than half of the country's women will have
some type of pelvic surgery and are therefore at risk for surgical
adhesions, a survey released this month by the not-for-profit National
Women's Health Resource Center (NWHRC) finds that women are largely unaware
of the health risks associated with adhesions.

Surgical adhesions occur when tissue in the abdominal cavity adheres, or
gets stuck to other tissue. Adhesions commonly form following pelvic
surgeries, such as hysterectomy, tubal ligation, cesarean section, and cyst
removal. Left untreated, adhesions can cause infertility, abdominal pain,
and bowel obstruction.

The survey of 1,000 women showed respondents strongly believe women should
be informed about surgical adhesions prior to surgery (69%). Conversely, an
overwhelming majority of women (80%) who had pelvic surgery were not
informed about adhesions prior to their surgery. Of the women in the survey
who suffer from adhesions, seven out of ten (70%) say they would have taken
special precautions to protect themselves from getting adhesions if they had
been aware of possible adhesion-related complications.

Susan Jones*, a human resources director and mother of three from McLean,
Virginia, has experience with the long-term effects adhesions can have on a
person's health. All of Jones's children were delivered by cesarean section.
Due to adhesions caused by these three surgeries, she suffers from
reoccurring abdominal pain and has been advised not to have any more
children because of the increased difficulty of delivering a baby surrounded
by such a large amount of scar tissue.

"My first c-section only took about 10 minutes for the doctor to get the
baby out," said Jones. "My second c-section took nearly 45 minutes and my
final c-section took nearly an hour and a half. My doctor had such a hard
time maneuvering around the scar tissue to get to my baby."

"If I had known about adhesions," continued Jones, "I would have talked to
my doctor about what can be done to reduce my risk for getting them."

Like Ms. Jones, half (51%) of survey respondents were not aware that
preventative measures can be taken to lower your risk of adhesions and an
even higher proportion (68%) of women that had undergone surgery did not
know if their surgeon took specific steps to guard against adhesions.

"Preventive measures to reduce the incidence of adhesions are the mainstay
of limiting the complications related to adhesions," stated Dr. Glenn
Schattman, Associate Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the Weill
Medical College of Cornell University. "These include using minimally
invasive surgical procedures, meticulous surgical technique, keeping tissues
moist, reducing bleeding and the use of adjuvant adhesions prevention
barriers to keep the tissues from sticking to each other."

"It's important to understand that once adhesions form, they are hard to get
rid of," continued Dr. Schattman. "Adhesions can cause blockages of the
intestines, fallopian tubes causing infertility and pain."

When faced with pelvic surgery, women said they were most concerned about
short-term surgical issues such as the general recovery process (60%),
immediate surgical results (59%) and post surgical pain (59%).

"Along with their immediate post-surgery concerns, women need to make
adhesions part of the pre-surgery dialogue with their health care provider,"
stated Elizabeth Battaglino Cahill, RN, executive vice president of the
NWHRC. "We hope that this adhesion awareness campaign can give women the
tools they need to understand the health risks of adhesions and how to
protect themselves from this life-long internal scarring."

To provide women the information they need about ways to minimize the risk
of surgical adhesions, the NWHRC has developed a one-page fast facts on
adhesions and an in-depth *Guide to Preparing for Gynecologic Surgery*. The
guide includes sections entitled:

- All About Adhesions
- Preparing for Surgery Checklist
- Choosing a Surgeon
- After Your Surgery

To download your complimentary online copy of the *Guide to Preparing for
Gynecologic Surgery*, "Fast Facts for Your Health: Pelvic Adhesions" or to
learn more about the adhesion survey, please visit NWHRC's award-winning Web
site, www.healthywomen.org. The survey and campaign materials were made
possible through support from Ethicon Women's Health & Urology, a division
of ETHICON, Inc.

Win a FREE Mei Tai!

2008-09-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

Just answer the question, and post the link! You get a free entry for the drawing, for each place the link is posted by you. All entries must be in by midnight, October 3rd.

Win a Uppy
Me Mama Contoured Mei Tai Baby Carrier with a one year warranty.

Fourth Baby Dies

2008-09-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/09/18/china.tainted.formula/index.html?eref=rss_world

BEIJING, China (CNN) -- Chinese officials in the northwestern Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region reported the death of a fourth baby Thursday in the country's expanding contaminated infant formula case. The tainted milk powder has already sickened more than 6,200 babies.

Disclaimer: This is a RANT. If you will be offended by a rant over women bottle feeding, then don't read this.

There are so many things that I'm an advocate for anymore. Home birthing, Unassisted Birthing, Breastfeeding, Not Vaccinating, Not Circumcising. There are *reasons* for me being so opinionated about them.

Sure sure, all of the bottle feeding women in America are going to say that this happened in China and could *never* happen here, right? Wrong. Because formula is MANUFACTURED and has to go through a long process of purification and preservation, WHY would it be exempt from this type of problem?

This is why women need to stop being so lazy, selfish, or viewing breasts as sexual objects only. Babies deserve to be breastfed. It is their right in life, from the womb. Yes yes, I know I know....there are women out there who truly *cannot* breastfeed. Really ladies, this is less than 2% of the population. Somehow ( insert sarcasm ) I manage to come across the entire 2% every year. It's shocking just how many women "cannot" breastfeed. :-/ Seriously?

And I've heard everything from "I want my breasts to be for my husband only", to "I am a Christian woman, and breastfeeding is indecent", to "My husband won't allow me to because it's gross", to "This is MY body, and it's too much work to breastfeed". Yeah, great reasons. If your husband doesn't want you breastfeeding because it's deemed "gross" or "inappropriate" by him...then he's got some issues to work through on his own. You don't deprive your baby of his/her essential right from birth, simply because your husband/partner has a distorted view of breastfeeding. And the selfish reasons? Why have children if that's how you're going to view breastfeeding? Motherhood is supposed to be selfless. Nothing less than that. Is it hard? Absolutely!

And there are reasons why breastfeeding comes harder to some women than others. Epidurals in birth can absolutely positively inhibit a good breastfeeding relationship. Drugs during childbirth can absolutely inhibit a good breastfeeding relationship. You're not just drugging yourself, you're drugging baby too. Cesareans can *ABSOLUTELY* inhibit a good breastfeeding relationship, because of the amount of narcotics given to mom, as well as the hour + baby spends in the nursery while mom is in recovery. It's very rare that a cesarean mom is able to breastfeed within the first hour of the baby's life, losing out on so much vital skin-to-skin contact. Women also think it's okay to give the baby a bottle to be able to have a family member feed so mom can sleep. This can create nipple confusion, as well as decrease your milk supply. Babies should be ( and deserve to be ) exclusively breastfed for at LEAST the first 6-8 months, and then continued to be breastfed even after you start solids. Many world organizations recommend babies to be breastfed until at least age 2. Babies are LITERALLY BORN TO BREASTFEED. This isn't an opinion, this is a fact. I absolutely LOVE the saying "My baby is a bottle baby. Some just don't take to it." :sigh: Poor babies. :(

Here are some great facts about breastfeeding vs. formula feeding:

* Recent studies show that babies who are exclusively breastfed for 6 months are less likely to develop ear infections, diarrhea, and respiratory illnesses. They may also be less likely to develop childhood obesity.

* Breastfeeding provides the baby with vital immunities against illness and childhood diseases.

* Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast and ovarian cancers.

* Breastfeeding is literally the perfect food for the baby's tummy. The tummy is able to break down breastmilk and digest without problems.

* Breastfeeding provides foremilk and hindmilk. Two consistencies to aid in hydration and nutrition. Formula only has one consistency.

* Breastfeeding mothers have increased self-esteem.

* Breastfeeding saves the family budget hundreds of dollars.

* Breastfeeding saves on health care costs.

* SIDS is seen less with breastfed babies.

Facts about Formula:

* Formula has no antibodies to pass to the baby

* Formula often produces gas and constipation in the baby

* Formula does NOT match the complexity of breastmilk. With formula, the baby will have the same exact taste at every single feeding. Breastfed babies have the taste of the food that mom eats, changing with every single feeding.

* Formula is harder for the baby's tummy to break down, since it is not human milk.

* Bottles have to be sterilized in between feedings. Breasts are always ready

* Formula is EXPENSIVE. Breastmilk is free.

* Bottle feeding does not exercise and condition the baby's jaw, as breastfeeding does.

* Formula fed babies are often overfed because the bottle continues to flow, and babies at a young age to not yet have the ability to refuse food when full.

* Obesity is more common amongst formula fed babies

Okay, rant over. I'm so sad for the 4 families in China who lost their babies over contaminated formula. I pray that they will find peace.

I also pray that maybe this will be a wake up call for formula feeding parents.

Color me a feminist?

2008-09-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

It's interesting to me how people are labeled - either according to beliefs, personality, opinions, or affiliations. I have been labeled so many things that it appears I am quite the hypocrite, depending on how you look at it. ;)

I've been labeled a feminist by some Christians, because I don't believe that the husband should be the governing authority when it comes to childbirth.

I've been labeled a right wing Christian for my staunch Pro-Life beliefs, and beliefs that the husband is the head of the household. We won't even get into the fact that I believe that women have no place, biblically, in political authority. Hehe.

I've been labeled as Anti-Cesarean as a whole...because yanno...ALL cesareans performed are necessary. A doctor would NEVER do something that isn't necessary.

I've been labeled as too militant when it comes to home birthing, unassisted birthing, etc. Silly me for believing that birth MATTERS. ;)

I've been labeled as too much of an advocate.

I've been labeled as not enough of an advocate.

I've been labeled incompetent by someone who portrays herself to be whatever the people in front of her are. Talk about a chameleon!

I've been labeled knowledgeable by those who have taken the time to inquire about me.

I've been labeled naive.

I've been labeled dangerous, for believing that a woman has the ability to birth safely without any sort of "professional" around.

I've been labeled a smart ass. I don't mind that one so much. ;)

I've been labeled as passionate.

And on rare occasions, I have been labeled as life changing. Sometimes, my beliefs and opinions and passion have been able to make a difference in someone's life. It's quite an honor to be told this!

Do I flip flop because I can often see a point to two sides? I don't think so. I think this makes me a contemplative individual. For example, as I already said, I am staunchly pro-life. I don't think that there are any good reasons for aborting a baby. And I've heard all of the arguments, so don't think that this is an open invitation for an abortion debate. It isn't. However, I am actually NOT for deeming the baby to be an individual with rights of it's own in the womb. Why, you may ask?

Laura Pemberton. She is a mother of 8 in Florida. In her last pregnancy, which was a VBAC, she had decided on a home birth. During labor she felt dehydrated and went into the hospital for an IV ( I'll leave comments about this to myself ), and once there was refused treatment unless she consented to a cesarean. She was told that if she didn't sign consent, that a court order would be started. So she fled out of the back of the hospital at 7cm, to go back home.

She resumed a labor pattern at home. Not long after returning, she had the local sheriff and state attorney in her bedroom. They had court orders for a cesarean. They forced her onto a stretcher, and into an ambulance. She pleaded and screamed. She was 9cm and was able to feel her baby's head when they cut her open.

Why did they do this? They deemed that she was acting in negligence, and that she was violating her baby's rights to a safe birth.

The government tells us that they deem it negligent to birth our children at home. They tell us that it is negligent to teach our children at home. They tell us that it is negligent to refuse vaccinations. They tell us that it is negligent and abusive to spank our children on the bottom when they misbehave. Most families don't stand for their homeschooling rights to be taken away. Most families don't stand for their disciplinary rights to be taken away. Why is this a lesser issue?

So for the first time in my staunchly pro-life life...I can agree with the pro-choice side. I am a VBAC mom. What if someone had gotten a hair up their butt, and had decided that I was being negligent with Megan, and had strapped me down and cut her out of my body? When is it up to the government to decide that it is their job to tell us what we can and cannot do with our families? And that's such a sticky statement, because I don't believe in true abuse being ignored. Birthing at home, homeschooling, spanking children on the butt....these are not abuses.

And in all of this...the once Republican me ( because of my parents ), really opposes McCain and Palin in the White House. I am dumbfounded over the information that keeps coming out about Palin. Most recently, the information that she cut funding on Rape Kits being available at no cost to rape victims, because it includes emergency contraceptive. And on the flip side of that, she hunts ( for sport, not survival, obviously ) wolves and bears from planes. So she can be pro-life when it comes to babies ... to the point where she will not fund help for rape victims ... but she can murder helpless animals from a plane. So incredibly noble. :-/

I don't know what I am politically. I'm really not keen on labels for this either. But boy I wish that Ron Paul had stayed in the race! LOL

So there ya go. Political and personal rants all in one blog. :phew:!