The Best Thing You Can Do for Mothers, Babies, Birth and Families is to Become Net Savvy!
I just had my mind expanded this morning by Laureen Hudson's hour long online session on how to use the internet to get a message out. Laureen's session “Creating an Online Presence," gave me a wealth of information in a short time and impressed me with how many people are out there who completely rely on the internet for their information. I needed that, and maybe you do, too.
- Ina May Gaskin
I just hung up the phone from doing the hour long session with Laureen Hudson on “Creating an Online Presence”. Laureen’s know-how and expertise were enough to wake up even the birth oldtimers like me and Ina May to the many unused opportunities of the internet. Laureen’s engaging and easygoing teaching style made even those scary (to me) terms like “hypertext, streaming, wordpress, technorati, feedreader and trackback” start to make sense. Her passion is to reach the generation of young women who have not yet given birth BEFORE they fall into the black hole of aggressive obstetrics. I came away from the class today with lots of ways to improve my website and make it more modern, usable and interesting for readers. This class will run again this coming Friday (August 22) and I heartily recommend it.
- Gloria Lemay
REGISTER NOW! SPACE IS LIMITED!
Cost: $35 per session
Each session will be 60 minutes in length
Creating An Online Presence
Sunday, September 7 at 5:00 p.m. Pacific / 8:00 p.m. Eastern
Friday, September 19 at 12:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. Eastern
Monday, September 22 at 9:00 a.m. Pacific / 12:00 p.m. Eastern
Search!
This session will include a case study of Dr. Amy and how we shoot ourselves in the collective feet by visiting and commenting on her website. (PS Hope you enjoyed the Gotcha! page from our last email!)
Sunday, October 5 at 5:00 p.m. Pacific / 8:00 p.m. Eastern
Friday, October 24 at 12:00 p.m. Pacific / 3:00 p.m. Eastern
Monday, October 27 at 9:00 a.m. Pacific / 12:00 p.m. Eastern
Friday, August 22, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
10 Years Ago Yesterday...
I met the love of my life.
Although I didn't know it when I met him, that we would spend the rest of our lives together. The story of how we met is actually quite comical. I was at my 500th ( okay, maybe a bit of exaggeration ) camp with church, and this one happened to be our week long summer camp up in the mountains near Arrowhead. I was 16 1/2, and was enjoying the time away from difficult family life back at home. It was in between lunch and dinner I believe, during free time, and my friend and I were on our way to the dinner hall to get some snacks out of the vending machine. We were about to walk in, when we heard someone shout "Hey ladies, would you like some chips?". We looked over to see a group of teenagers, my age and a little older, hanging out while the guy who shouted at us played his guitar. I laughed, but didn't want to because I was PAINFULLY shy. Yeah, I know I know...those of you who have only known me for a while are thinking that it's impossible that I was shy at one point. LOL But I truly was.
After finding nothing good in the vending machines, my friend who was 5 years older than me and an eternal flirt, suggested that we go over and get some free chips and check out the guys who were offering them. I sat quietly and smiled as my friend hit on the guy playing guitar. He kept trying to ask me questions, get me involved in the conversation, but I was too shy. I was shamelessly hit on by one of the guys sitting in their little group, and that made me even more shy ( and I'm sure blushing horribly ) so I decided to walk away to find people I knew. My friend stayed behind chatting with the guitar player.
The rest of the week ( we met on a Wednesday ) my friend enjoyed hanging out with this new group. She was attracted to the guitar player, and kept talking about him. The guitar player's friend kept shamelessly hitting on me, which always made me utterly embarrassed. I talked to the guitar player a few times, and he was a really nice guy. Totally not my type - my "type" so far had been a guy with the "rebel" type style, and this guy had a few piercings in his ears, wore glasses ( I did too, but contacts 99% of the time ), and played a guitar. But he was nice to talk with. His friend that continuously tried to hit on me tried to embarrass him one night by saying, in front of him, that the guitar player talked about me at night and thought I was really hot. ( Or cute, can't remember which word he used ) The guitar player didn't seem phased, looked me right in the eye, and said "Yes, I do." with a smile. I was totally caught off guard. We talked more throughout the rest of the week, and got to know each other just a bit. My friend was still very interested, and I wasn't much. I had decided to give up trying to date, because so far I had only picked jerks.
Anyway, when Friday came we had all exchanged phone numbers and email addresses, and my friend thought it was a great idea to invite all of them over to *my* house the next day for a BBQ and swim. She wanted to see the guitar player again. The next day rolls around, and I'm not kidding, the only one who was able to show up was the guitar player. My friend ended up with a flat tire, and his friends couldn't make it. I was alone with a guy that I had barely gotten to know. I was massively uncomfortable at first, but knew he was a really nice guy, and we'd be able to talk. Not like some guys where all they do is nod every once in a while. LOL
We ended up having a fantastic day, and literally talked about everything from school, to family ( turns out both of us had very messed up family lives ), to ambitions, to everything. It was really nice. From that day stemmed phone calls until 2am, him coming out to come to church with me, to actual dates. I remember one day that melted my heart, and it may seem so small to many other people. It was a rainy day, and he had been busy with just starting college. He called me from a payphone, in the rain, just to tell me that he was thinking of me. He had also poured out his past, as far as relationships, so that I was clear on who he had been and what he had done. He didn't want questions to linger in my mind. Then, 2 weeks after we met, he kissed me for the first time. It was my first time being kissed. I was terrified. He didn't know it was my first kiss, so he went in full force. I felt clumsy, out of sorts, and completely on cloud 9. I think I squealed half the way home with excitement at finally having my first kiss, and with a really nice guy. I called him when I got home, and very timidly told him that I was sorry if the kiss was awful, that it was my first. He couldn't believe that I had never been kissed before, and thought it was cute.
But dummy me, I pulled back from him. I thought that he was *too* nice, and that it was a mask for the beginning of a relationship. The few guys that I had dated before him had turned out to be complete jerks once I wouldn't kiss them, or once they found out that I wouldn't be sleeping with them. I was expecting this to happen, and I had found myself caring too much about him already, for my comfort. Yes, even at 16. ;) I had seen how awful my parents' marriage had been through the years. I had seen my mom have an affair while married to my dad. The only example of relationships that I had in front of me weren't good. I didn't want to have my heart broken.
It all changed when I talked to him about it, and he wrote me a letter. In the letter he told me that he would wait as long as I needed, if it's what I wanted. He wouldn't push anything, but he also wasn't going anywhere if he thought he had a chance. For once, I had someone waiting for *me*, with openness, honesty, and love. With this letter I saw that he wasn't like the rest. I knew we'd have hurdles ahead of us, but I was too busy with the excitement of a new relationship. We made it "official" on September 7, 1998. Labor Day when he came over for a BBQ.
No one thought we would make it. We were too young, too naive. We were too much in "puppy love" as I was told. We wouldn't beat the odds because of the bad family backgrounds we both have. He proposed on our 2nd anniversary, and we were married 4 1/2 months later. Too soon perhaps...boy would I love to go back and do some things differently as far as the wedding, the timing, etc...but we trusted that God was steering us in the right direction. I knew that he was the man meant for me, sent by God. He made that clear one night during worship.
Here we are 10 years later, and more in love than ever. We know each other inside and out, we can communicate through simple eye contact - something that amuses one of his cousins to no end. LOL My husband is one of the most supportive, encouraging, and caring men I've seen in a marriage relationship. I don't know of many people with a marriage as deep as ours, and my only prayer is that it continues this way for the rest of our lives. We have most certainly had rough patches, and times where I didn't think we'd make it. But I now know that since the Lord had us for each other, that He will carry us through even the most difficult of times.
To my Jeramy, I love you then, now, and for always.
Although I didn't know it when I met him, that we would spend the rest of our lives together. The story of how we met is actually quite comical. I was at my 500th ( okay, maybe a bit of exaggeration ) camp with church, and this one happened to be our week long summer camp up in the mountains near Arrowhead. I was 16 1/2, and was enjoying the time away from difficult family life back at home. It was in between lunch and dinner I believe, during free time, and my friend and I were on our way to the dinner hall to get some snacks out of the vending machine. We were about to walk in, when we heard someone shout "Hey ladies, would you like some chips?". We looked over to see a group of teenagers, my age and a little older, hanging out while the guy who shouted at us played his guitar. I laughed, but didn't want to because I was PAINFULLY shy. Yeah, I know I know...those of you who have only known me for a while are thinking that it's impossible that I was shy at one point. LOL But I truly was.
After finding nothing good in the vending machines, my friend who was 5 years older than me and an eternal flirt, suggested that we go over and get some free chips and check out the guys who were offering them. I sat quietly and smiled as my friend hit on the guy playing guitar. He kept trying to ask me questions, get me involved in the conversation, but I was too shy. I was shamelessly hit on by one of the guys sitting in their little group, and that made me even more shy ( and I'm sure blushing horribly ) so I decided to walk away to find people I knew. My friend stayed behind chatting with the guitar player.
The rest of the week ( we met on a Wednesday ) my friend enjoyed hanging out with this new group. She was attracted to the guitar player, and kept talking about him. The guitar player's friend kept shamelessly hitting on me, which always made me utterly embarrassed. I talked to the guitar player a few times, and he was a really nice guy. Totally not my type - my "type" so far had been a guy with the "rebel" type style, and this guy had a few piercings in his ears, wore glasses ( I did too, but contacts 99% of the time ), and played a guitar. But he was nice to talk with. His friend that continuously tried to hit on me tried to embarrass him one night by saying, in front of him, that the guitar player talked about me at night and thought I was really hot. ( Or cute, can't remember which word he used ) The guitar player didn't seem phased, looked me right in the eye, and said "Yes, I do." with a smile. I was totally caught off guard. We talked more throughout the rest of the week, and got to know each other just a bit. My friend was still very interested, and I wasn't much. I had decided to give up trying to date, because so far I had only picked jerks.
Anyway, when Friday came we had all exchanged phone numbers and email addresses, and my friend thought it was a great idea to invite all of them over to *my* house the next day for a BBQ and swim. She wanted to see the guitar player again. The next day rolls around, and I'm not kidding, the only one who was able to show up was the guitar player. My friend ended up with a flat tire, and his friends couldn't make it. I was alone with a guy that I had barely gotten to know. I was massively uncomfortable at first, but knew he was a really nice guy, and we'd be able to talk. Not like some guys where all they do is nod every once in a while. LOL
We ended up having a fantastic day, and literally talked about everything from school, to family ( turns out both of us had very messed up family lives ), to ambitions, to everything. It was really nice. From that day stemmed phone calls until 2am, him coming out to come to church with me, to actual dates. I remember one day that melted my heart, and it may seem so small to many other people. It was a rainy day, and he had been busy with just starting college. He called me from a payphone, in the rain, just to tell me that he was thinking of me. He had also poured out his past, as far as relationships, so that I was clear on who he had been and what he had done. He didn't want questions to linger in my mind. Then, 2 weeks after we met, he kissed me for the first time. It was my first time being kissed. I was terrified. He didn't know it was my first kiss, so he went in full force. I felt clumsy, out of sorts, and completely on cloud 9. I think I squealed half the way home with excitement at finally having my first kiss, and with a really nice guy. I called him when I got home, and very timidly told him that I was sorry if the kiss was awful, that it was my first. He couldn't believe that I had never been kissed before, and thought it was cute.
But dummy me, I pulled back from him. I thought that he was *too* nice, and that it was a mask for the beginning of a relationship. The few guys that I had dated before him had turned out to be complete jerks once I wouldn't kiss them, or once they found out that I wouldn't be sleeping with them. I was expecting this to happen, and I had found myself caring too much about him already, for my comfort. Yes, even at 16. ;) I had seen how awful my parents' marriage had been through the years. I had seen my mom have an affair while married to my dad. The only example of relationships that I had in front of me weren't good. I didn't want to have my heart broken.
It all changed when I talked to him about it, and he wrote me a letter. In the letter he told me that he would wait as long as I needed, if it's what I wanted. He wouldn't push anything, but he also wasn't going anywhere if he thought he had a chance. For once, I had someone waiting for *me*, with openness, honesty, and love. With this letter I saw that he wasn't like the rest. I knew we'd have hurdles ahead of us, but I was too busy with the excitement of a new relationship. We made it "official" on September 7, 1998. Labor Day when he came over for a BBQ.
No one thought we would make it. We were too young, too naive. We were too much in "puppy love" as I was told. We wouldn't beat the odds because of the bad family backgrounds we both have. He proposed on our 2nd anniversary, and we were married 4 1/2 months later. Too soon perhaps...boy would I love to go back and do some things differently as far as the wedding, the timing, etc...but we trusted that God was steering us in the right direction. I knew that he was the man meant for me, sent by God. He made that clear one night during worship.
Here we are 10 years later, and more in love than ever. We know each other inside and out, we can communicate through simple eye contact - something that amuses one of his cousins to no end. LOL My husband is one of the most supportive, encouraging, and caring men I've seen in a marriage relationship. I don't know of many people with a marriage as deep as ours, and my only prayer is that it continues this way for the rest of our lives. We have most certainly had rough patches, and times where I didn't think we'd make it. But I now know that since the Lord had us for each other, that He will carry us through even the most difficult of times.
To my Jeramy, I love you then, now, and for always.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Novelty Births
Wouldn't it be horrifying if you heard of someone surgically removing the babies of animals on a certain day because it was considered a fun delivery date? No thought to the fact that the babies were probably not ready for life outside of the womb, no thought to the fact that at least half would probably end up needing extra medical care because of being pulled out early.
Imagine a baby, safe and warm inside of his mother. He hears her heartbeat, her breath sounds, her soft voice. He is safe, he is comfortable. He is growing and practicing breathing movements for the day that his body signals labor inside of his mother's body.
Now imagine that baby, warm and snuggly, all of a sudden has drugs coursing through his system. Lots of drugs. Drugs that make him sleepy and possibly jittery at the same time. Imagine this little baby, all of a sudden having a bright light shine through his warm cocoon as a surgeon cuts through the uterine wall. Imagine now, that without the hormones to prepare him for this change, his home is drained of the warm fluid that has surrounded him for the past 9 or so months. Now there is very cold air coming inside of his cocoon along with the bright light. Baby doesn't know what's going on - this isn't supposed to happen yet. There was nothing to prepare him for any of this. Someone grabs a hold of his head, very roughly. They're pulling on his head, extending his neck. A nurse is at the top of mom's fundus, practically sitting on her to apply enough pressure to push him out of his cocoon, since there were no contractions to do this job. Instead of a slow build up of contractions that wrap around the baby to further stimulate hormones, slowly squeeze fluid out of the lungs...it's all quick, forceful, and violent. As mom and dad anxiously await for their baby to cry, to see that little being, with a smile on their face...the baby has a shock to his system. No more warm cocoon, dim lights. Now it's a freezing cold operating room, very bright lights, strange hands and voices. Since his little lungs weren't squeezed out as in a vaginal birth, now he will have a tube sent down his nasal canal and his throat, causing him to gag, all to suction out this fluid that should have been naturally expelled. He is handled roughly, instead of the gentle way that every baby deserves. Instead of being on his mother's bare chest, once again hearing the familiar and comforting heartbeat and voice or having the benefit of feeling her regulated breathing - he is sent to the NICU in a plastic box. More strangers, more unfamiliar voices and sounds. Instead of being warmed by his mother's breasts and touch, he is put under heat lamps while strangers talk around him. He will not again see the woman who carried him, nourished him, loved him for *at least* an hour or more.
Mom and dad know nothing of what he will go through ...
... They just want him to have a cool birthday.
Seem like a ridiculous notion? Sadly, it's a reality. On the date of 8-8-08 this year, many babies were forced to go through the scenario above, all for the sake of mom wanting to have a cool delivery date. Some had this elective cesarean three or more weeks before their estimated due date. The average is roughly two weeks before the due date. Inductions were scheduled on this date, forcing the baby to endure violent contractions and drugs coursing through his system....
... All for a cool birthday.
This is a quote from a woman on a mothering site I am on:
There were elective c-sections talked about all over the world, for this "cool" birthdate.
Am I the only one that is horrified for these poor babies? Has the medical community and ignorant parents done THAT good of a job convincing people that elective cesareans are no big deal? Despite medical study after medical study that is released saying that the maternal and newborn mortality and morbidity rates are soaring high?
Is a "cool" birthday really worth possibly sacrificing your child's health - both short and long term? How very, very sad.
Imagine a baby, safe and warm inside of his mother. He hears her heartbeat, her breath sounds, her soft voice. He is safe, he is comfortable. He is growing and practicing breathing movements for the day that his body signals labor inside of his mother's body.
Now imagine that baby, warm and snuggly, all of a sudden has drugs coursing through his system. Lots of drugs. Drugs that make him sleepy and possibly jittery at the same time. Imagine this little baby, all of a sudden having a bright light shine through his warm cocoon as a surgeon cuts through the uterine wall. Imagine now, that without the hormones to prepare him for this change, his home is drained of the warm fluid that has surrounded him for the past 9 or so months. Now there is very cold air coming inside of his cocoon along with the bright light. Baby doesn't know what's going on - this isn't supposed to happen yet. There was nothing to prepare him for any of this. Someone grabs a hold of his head, very roughly. They're pulling on his head, extending his neck. A nurse is at the top of mom's fundus, practically sitting on her to apply enough pressure to push him out of his cocoon, since there were no contractions to do this job. Instead of a slow build up of contractions that wrap around the baby to further stimulate hormones, slowly squeeze fluid out of the lungs...it's all quick, forceful, and violent. As mom and dad anxiously await for their baby to cry, to see that little being, with a smile on their face...the baby has a shock to his system. No more warm cocoon, dim lights. Now it's a freezing cold operating room, very bright lights, strange hands and voices. Since his little lungs weren't squeezed out as in a vaginal birth, now he will have a tube sent down his nasal canal and his throat, causing him to gag, all to suction out this fluid that should have been naturally expelled. He is handled roughly, instead of the gentle way that every baby deserves. Instead of being on his mother's bare chest, once again hearing the familiar and comforting heartbeat and voice or having the benefit of feeling her regulated breathing - he is sent to the NICU in a plastic box. More strangers, more unfamiliar voices and sounds. Instead of being warmed by his mother's breasts and touch, he is put under heat lamps while strangers talk around him. He will not again see the woman who carried him, nourished him, loved him for *at least* an hour or more.
Mom and dad know nothing of what he will go through ...
... They just want him to have a cool birthday.
Seem like a ridiculous notion? Sadly, it's a reality. On the date of 8-8-08 this year, many babies were forced to go through the scenario above, all for the sake of mom wanting to have a cool delivery date. Some had this elective cesarean three or more weeks before their estimated due date. The average is roughly two weeks before the due date. Inductions were scheduled on this date, forcing the baby to endure violent contractions and drugs coursing through his system....
... All for a cool birthday.
This is a quote from a woman on a mothering site I am on:
Well its about 5 o'clock in the morning here and I am getting ready to go to the hospital! I am having a c-section today at 8! So our little boy will be born in less than 4 hours if all goes well! The cool thing is the doctor is going to aim for 8:08 am as the birth time! Wouldn't that be neat!!! 8-8-08 at 8:08 am! I'll be back on to add some photos when I can!! WISH ME LUCK!!!
There were elective c-sections talked about all over the world, for this "cool" birthdate.
Am I the only one that is horrified for these poor babies? Has the medical community and ignorant parents done THAT good of a job convincing people that elective cesareans are no big deal? Despite medical study after medical study that is released saying that the maternal and newborn mortality and morbidity rates are soaring high?
Is a "cool" birthday really worth possibly sacrificing your child's health - both short and long term? How very, very sad.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Changes
As some may know, I'm an ICAN baby. That may sound funny, but literally...due to the ICAN's main list serve, I was reborn. Little by little, the dedicated and passionate women there got through to me. They were often harsh, and blunt...and that's what got through my hard head. It was the personal level of the list serve, and the candid discussions that got me through. Sure, I thought they were all crazy at first. They told me that my oldest baby's size wasn't what caused the horrid delivery and even more horrid recovery, but rather the interventions in the labor and birth. They were nuts! Everyone had always told me that she was SO HUGE ( 9.1lbs ) and no WONDER I had such a hard birth and recovery. This was the very first time that anyone said that it was due to what was introduced into a natural process. They told me that my cesarean with my son was unnecessary - and could have all been avoided. Which meant that I could have kept him from spending 9 days in the NICU without me. It hurt.
I was shocked to see women advocating for home birthing...what, did they think it was the 1800's again? And these women on the list weren't NORMAL women, but women with scars on their uterus. How could they possibly encourage them to birth at home? It was irresponsible, dangerous advice. And I told them so as I left the list in frustration with all of the nutjobs there. ;)
But it stuck. I went on to research some things for myself ( novel idea, eh? ) and grew more and more frustrated with each BS OB appointment where they told me that it wasn't a good idea to "try" for a VBAC. That I was certainly going to have a uterine rupture since I had only a single layer of suturing on my uterus instead of double AND because I had a history of large babies. However, the research that I was doing all said that the risk of uterine rupture was VERY low - not at all how the OBs had made it sound. Even with a history of large babies, and a single layer closure. I began to grow frustrated with my lack of TRUE options, and with the biased information I was receiving from the OBs.
So three months after my exodus from the list, I went back and apologized for calling everyone crazy. I was ready to learn.
Because of the women of the ICAN list serve, and because of the personal nature of the list itself, I grew dramatically. I went from a woman who believed that inductions for size was a VERY valid and wise option, and epidurals were God's gift to women...to being an advocate for *natural* birth, and yes...even home births. ;) I *birthed* my VBAC baby onto my bed at home at 41 weeks 4 days. She was 10.10lbs, 23" long and posterior. I did it. My body had never been broken, I had just allowed myself to believe that it was. Sometimes it's easier to believe that we're broken, rather than know that we could have done better. Not only for ourselves, but for our babies.
My point in all of this?
It was announced the other day that the powers that be in ICAN ( aka The Board ), has decided to shut down the list serve in favor of a forum format. This has all been done without asking the true voice of ICAN ( the list members, chapter leaders, members ) how they felt about this. It was done in a rather sneaky fashion, and removed all possibility of input from the heart of ICAN. This has been a big blow to the women of the list.
The list itself has morphed since I joined. For a while it ceased ( to me ) to be a place where you could share honestly, or give advice in a blunt way. You were slapped on the wrist for being "too harsh", even if it was truth. The honesty of the group that I had so loved, had turned into something more PC. It was a shame. BUT, it was still our group. It was still our personal place for support, encouragement, and friendship. A forum cannot provide this, and it simply won't be the same. Some have argued the validity of being upset over this, as we will still have a discussion area. Others are pointing out the simple fact that the core of ICAN was not given an option in this change. ICAN is made of its volunteers, its chapter leaders, its supporters. It's a shame that they've decided to yank the beating heart out of what makes ICAN what it has been.
I'm sad to be losing the very thing that caused such a pivotal time in my life.
I was shocked to see women advocating for home birthing...what, did they think it was the 1800's again? And these women on the list weren't NORMAL women, but women with scars on their uterus. How could they possibly encourage them to birth at home? It was irresponsible, dangerous advice. And I told them so as I left the list in frustration with all of the nutjobs there. ;)
But it stuck. I went on to research some things for myself ( novel idea, eh? ) and grew more and more frustrated with each BS OB appointment where they told me that it wasn't a good idea to "try" for a VBAC. That I was certainly going to have a uterine rupture since I had only a single layer of suturing on my uterus instead of double AND because I had a history of large babies. However, the research that I was doing all said that the risk of uterine rupture was VERY low - not at all how the OBs had made it sound. Even with a history of large babies, and a single layer closure. I began to grow frustrated with my lack of TRUE options, and with the biased information I was receiving from the OBs.
So three months after my exodus from the list, I went back and apologized for calling everyone crazy. I was ready to learn.
Because of the women of the ICAN list serve, and because of the personal nature of the list itself, I grew dramatically. I went from a woman who believed that inductions for size was a VERY valid and wise option, and epidurals were God's gift to women...to being an advocate for *natural* birth, and yes...even home births. ;) I *birthed* my VBAC baby onto my bed at home at 41 weeks 4 days. She was 10.10lbs, 23" long and posterior. I did it. My body had never been broken, I had just allowed myself to believe that it was. Sometimes it's easier to believe that we're broken, rather than know that we could have done better. Not only for ourselves, but for our babies.
My point in all of this?
It was announced the other day that the powers that be in ICAN ( aka The Board ), has decided to shut down the list serve in favor of a forum format. This has all been done without asking the true voice of ICAN ( the list members, chapter leaders, members ) how they felt about this. It was done in a rather sneaky fashion, and removed all possibility of input from the heart of ICAN. This has been a big blow to the women of the list.
The list itself has morphed since I joined. For a while it ceased ( to me ) to be a place where you could share honestly, or give advice in a blunt way. You were slapped on the wrist for being "too harsh", even if it was truth. The honesty of the group that I had so loved, had turned into something more PC. It was a shame. BUT, it was still our group. It was still our personal place for support, encouragement, and friendship. A forum cannot provide this, and it simply won't be the same. Some have argued the validity of being upset over this, as we will still have a discussion area. Others are pointing out the simple fact that the core of ICAN was not given an option in this change. ICAN is made of its volunteers, its chapter leaders, its supporters. It's a shame that they've decided to yank the beating heart out of what makes ICAN what it has been.
I'm sad to be losing the very thing that caused such a pivotal time in my life.
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